Monday, February 18, 1991

Well, sure enough, but not surprisingly enough, I woke up with a bad attack yesterday. It wasn’t the worst attack, but it wasn’t very fun either. I had too many cigarettes. I didn’t get up till 7:00 cuz I kept waking up a billion times. I fell asleep near 10:00 yesterday morning and if I had been able to sleep straight through I’d have woken up at 5:00. It’s going to be a heck of a while before I fall asleep and I’ve got Bill coming around 6:30 tonight.

I need to psych myself up to quit smoking again. I hate this feeling of having pressure on me and feeling like I can’t take control. These cigarettes have such power over me and I don’t like it. But then again look at all the other powers and controls I’ve had over other things. I don’t mean just psychic powers either. Speaking of psychic powers, it just gets weirder all the time. It’s developing more and more that it’s almost too hard to believe and accept. My nana Bella always told me that if you have a gift, don’t question it, just accept it and use it. I guess she’s right and I have to consider my “bad vibes” as a gift when I remember the fire.

If I ever do run into Mark B, who set that fire, I don’t think he’d want to look in the mirror for quite a while.

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