Yesterday turned out to be a horrible day. I didn’t go grocery shopping, nor did I tan. Instead, I ended up at Dr. Leitch’s office as I no longer could stand my sinus problem. My nose was swollen and tingling. The pressure in my head was too much as well as the hot flashes. Also, I was still itchy and red and had discharges down below. So, he said this time he’d try a very strong antibiotic and that I may need a few rounds of it. As for down below, well, he took a swab to send that to the lab and they’ll let me know, but get this - I have warts. I said I was gay and hadn’t been with many people or for very long. He said it may or may not be sexually transmitted. He said it could be caused by too much moisture. Also, my being with a woman will make my chances of serious diseases practically zero. Diseases like aids, syphilis or gonorrhea, but a person could have a virus in their mouth or on their finger and not even know it. Meanwhile, he says I need to see a GYN and they burn them and it’s not painful and it takes only 10 minutes. He said it’s not serious, but that I’ve had it for a while and it could get worse.

I’m still debating on whether or not to see a GYN as I have had it a long time, so how much worse can it get? Also, I planned never to be with anyone again cuz of not getting anyone I’m really attracted to. Nor do I want to go through the hassle and stress of being with someone even part-time.

I was right about those suspicions I’ve had for so long. Whether I have sex with a male or a female it’s like it’s a sin for me. Maybe not for some people, but it seems that way for me it is. I’ve always felt I would be punished and I was right. All the more reason I will never have sex again for sure. I have definitely resigned for life.

I called Tammy and she had that procedure done too and she said she was terrified at first, but it didn’t hurt at all. She told me they don’t even need to go in and that they just put a topical medication on the outer lips and you feel a very slight burning sensation and that’s all. She told me that after Becky was born she had a lot of bleeding and that all the moisture is what caused it. She told me not to blame Brenda, though, as it may be from the moisture of the discharges I’ve had or if Brenda did have a virus, she may not have known. I still have to think about it, though, and I also have other things to write about that are on my mind, but I’ll do it later.