I cut $134 tonight! This sure makes up for the 3 days I worked before this. It was dead. I only made between $50 and $80.

Monday I should have my long-distance service and my Caller ID. They delivered the Caller ID box a few days ago. I programmed my phone with new phone numbers. I also took out old numbers. Such as Dennis’s and Randy’s. Randy apparently moved. These are the people’s numbers I’ll have: Andy, Laurie, John, my number (for when I page people) Fran, Nervous, Tammy, Mom and Dad, voice messaging, my code, Scott, Dr. Kareus, the apartment office, Kara, Mary, bank, Stephanie, my account number, my social security number, Velma and work.

Tim said Angie and Vicki decided not to call me back cuz I am only looking for one-nighters. This is so weird. I can understand the fear of AIDS, but very few people want or can deal with a relationship any more than I can. Everyone’s into sex and fun. Also, so many others, like me, can’t deal with the shit involved in relationships and they don’t want to be tied down. Do I lie and tell people I want a relationship? Then dump them even if it hurts them cuz that’s life? You win some, you lose some. Then again, I know I’m not destined for even a one-nighter for years.

Later...

So much for trying to go to sleep. I really wish I could, though, cuz of the bitch next door. On the weekend (especially Sundays) it sounds like the bitch is shooting basketballs off the walls. I’ll also have to deal with her on Monday cuz it’s President’s Day. Well, like I said, if I can’t sleep on Sundays, she can’t sleep at 2 AM on Mondays.

Last summer while I was still in the first-floor apartment next to Mark, Andy got a note on his door. It definitely looked like a female wrote it, but it said it was a gay, free male who’d seen Andy a lot at the pool. They wanted to meet him and said to leave a reply taped to the fire extinguisher. Back then he suspected Mark and his girlfriend Michelle. I’m sure they’re no longer together as most couples aren’t that long. Especially people like him and her. Anyway, I took an envelope and wrote his name and address as the return address. I made up a bogus name and address to be sent to, and of course, it’ll be sent back to him marked return-to-sender. With the note enclosed, of course. I also signed her name at the bottom of the note.

Now here’s the Celeste story. And like most stories, it never amounts to anything. I’m glad, though, for two reasons. I’ll explain why through the story. Last Thursday night at work I gave this guy named Joe a table dance. After that, he asked me about a threesome with him and his wife. I explained I was gay and liked feminine women with no male involved, but he could easily find a bi woman through The New Times. So, he said he could keep out of it and let me and his feminine wife alone together. He said they have an open marriage, but she’d never go for a relationship. I said I couldn’t either. They were looking for an apartment, but currently, they’re in a motel. He gave me their number.

I called after work and she promised to keep him out of the picture. She also confessed to doing Crystal. Do I look like a druggie? Or an alkie? What do these people see in me? Why do I attract them? So, they say I shouldn’t blame myself, but I feel I could be in a room with 99 sober people and one druggie. That’s the one I’d get. No matter how I looked. No matter what I said. No matter how I acted. No matter what mood I was in. The drugs are one reason I won’t get involved with her. The other is that there’s always a fucking male in the middle of these kinds of things. When there’s a male involved, he cannot stay out of it. I’m afraid of her coming over, and then he shows up. Another reminder from God that lust ain’t meant to be.

Well, I’m gonna go try to hit the sack now before that bitch next door wakes me up in 3 hours.