Sunday, May 23, 1993

Well, I am in a great mood. Far better than I was last week. It’s so nice to know that I’ve had so few bad days or so-so days since I’ve been here. For 26½ years it was 90% miserable. Here, it’s been 98% fantastic.

I didn’t count, but I made $80 or $90 tonight. I have $97 in cash on me in bills and lots of change.

Scott stopped in for an hour or so. It was great to see him. We’re getting together Monday.

I still can’t find Kindy’s number, so I hope she calls me.

I like Sasha, but she can be annoying. She knows Scott and I are good friends and that I hardly see him, but she hogs his attention.

Till 11:00 it was dead. I said to Scott I was afraid I’d end up evicted if the club didn’t pick up or if no positive results came out of L.A. He laughed and said, “No you’re not. I’ve got tons of money coming in next month.”

We’re gonna discuss it Monday. And he also says he’ll put the ceiling fan up then. We’ll see.

I still do have an excellent feeling about L.A. Also, believe it or not, I feel a little lust in the cards too, but why the hell I do, who knows? I’m sure it won’t be with Marcella, but I sure wish it. While I’m still young I wish to hell I could have a little more fun here and there.

There’s a new dancer named Ashley at work who’s pretty, but I guess she’s straight.

The phone company fixed the lines today.

Tomorrow if I don’t get together with Kindy, and I highly doubt it, I’ll call Lorna. I’d like to meet her and see if she’ll buy my answering machine.

I sold Sammy a costume.

I think I’ll also decorate the wall stuff and type some letters. I love this apartment It’s so quiet so far. The guy below me is so quiet and I hear fewer kids. I have a few more things to write about later.

Later...

Can you believe I’m still fucking up?! This pisses me off! My schedule’s been doing well since I had that flu and cold. It’s been fine for 3 months so why it’s so hard to fall asleep now beats me.

At 6:30 yesterday evening, Tom came over and attached the sleeper to the couch. He also listened to some edits and one of the Crisis Center calls where Andy and I would play the abandoned teen siblings and I’d do my crazy act, speaking senseless, disjointed sentences.

Tom took me to work and back. He’s on vacation for two weeks. While he’s still here he can bring me to and from work. I’ll still see him and be friends with him after he moves, though. He’s gonna have a 2-bedroom house with a pool. Lucky him.

He’s a cool guy. He’s so the “married with children” type. So very mature and calm. He’s 35, but he appears a bit older. Completely opposite of me, yet never tries to change me or anyone else. Never the type to make prank phone calls, mail funny letters, swear so much or be so blunt. He is very honest, though, and can handle listening to edits and stuff like that.

Earlier I was going through all my journals and highlighting the entry dates. I’d begun doing this right before I moved to Crystal Creek. I’ve finished 1-30, but I know I have bits and pieces of 31-37 done.

Gotta dust, vacuum and run through the bathroom and kitchen a bit. I really want to keep up on this place. Don’t want to let it slide. Every two weeks is when I shall go through it. Once every 2-3 months I’ll be really thorough. No half-assing it.

Why do I feel such a strong vibe for lust? Knowing and going by my track record, I should have a year or so to go.

Now, I’m going to try really hard to fall asleep. I definitely can feel my eyelids becoming quite heavy, so bye for now.

Later...

Right now I am sitting on my patio. It is very very warm out still. A slight breeze went by, but only for a second. I wish it was windier more often. I can’t wait till we have more of those awesome thunder and lightning storms we usually have this time of year. The sound of the creek and waterfalls down below me is so peaceful. God, what beauty I live in!

I’m writing on the table I bought for $10 off that maintenance guy who was fired and moved. I have the patio light on. Thankfully, I have a patio light. I can see perfectly well.

I slept till 7:00! I was beat, but I hope I haven’t fucked my schedule up. I still haven’t done my walls either. I am doing laundry now. I’ll watch two movies I taped and do some letter writing, too.

I spoke to Andy for about 45 minutes, then went to the Jacuzzi. He’s watching TV now.

I have an appointment tomorrow at 9 AM with DES. I want to see if Tom can do me a huge favor. Of course, he can’t call them and say I can’t be up that early cuz I work. I want him to say I transferred apartments, I’m very sick now and don’t have current bills and rent receipts which is true. I’ll call them real soon and see if I can do a phone interview or mail the stuff they need.

While I was at the Jacuzzi I found a really nice lighter and it’s full, too.

I’ll have to look at the apartment map to see where Lorna’s apartment is. I’ll call her first, though, one of these days soon. I want to sell her my answering machine. I’m wary of her otherwise. I smell Ellie in her.

Tomorrow’s the day, a year ago that I left the NHA project. I was in Natchaug for two weeks. I’ve been through so much and accomplished so much since.

Scott says tomorrow he’s putting up the ceiling fan in the bedroom. I’ll believe it when I see it. I hate to say that, but it’s true. Right now, though, I’m gonna throw my clothes into the dryer and watch TV.

Later...

I’m about to watch the movie I taped. One of them. This one’s called, In the Line of Duty - Ambush in Waco. It’s all about that crazy cult leader in Texas. This video has had it. It sounds as if it were underwater. Tim Daly, the guy playing David Koresh, looks exactly like the real David Koresh.

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