We’re back at the trailer now, and since being here, I’ve heard a vehicle drive by at least twice that I know of (yeah, they’ll be passing by more and more as they get closer to moving in). The last time I could’ve sworn I heard music. I know I heard music. I am gonna be made to be so miserable once these people get here till I put a stop to it. Why, God? Huh? Why do you insist I listen to others? You really will never let me live in peace, will you? It really is an impossible dream for me.

Anyway, Gravity’s fucked up on putting in our electric pole again. How many years of experience is this cock supposed to have? Naturally, I feel Tom’s being too nice about it. This man just can’t speak out and put his foot down to save his life, and whenever I’m upset with someone, he defends them.

These fucking “professionals” have a contract saying they have to be done by the 1st, but at the rate they’re going, we don’t stand a chance of getting in by then.

No one’s living behind us yet. I can tell this due to the lack of screaming and house music and I don’t hear any new barks yet, either. They won’t play their car stereo really, really loud, though, till they do move in.

Anyway, it’s obvious God wants me to survive, in the sense of the word, and I knew he wouldn’t ruin our lives by having us sell our house only to have the loan fall through and end up indefinitely homeless (or in apartments). But why oh why won’t he leave me the fuck alone with neighbor noise? Why is it so important to him that they be a part of my life? Is it compensation for not having to listen to a kid inside my own home for 18 years? What is it? Just what the fuck is it?

George said his supplies were stolen. He’s some type of engineer, I guess, who works on houses, and he says someone stole his carpet and tiles, but we think it was someone working for or with him that did it cuz he seems like he could be a read bold, arrogant little shit that someone would do that to.

How do I know the vehicles, especially the one with music, were in fact connected to behind us when I never saw them? I just do. Like I said, I know what God has in store for me. He wouldn’t let me live in peace in the middle of the fucking Arctic.

Tom says I’m a “skinny little thing.” Not at 122 pounds (we weighed ourselves on a scale in the store). Not according to the mirror. Yeah, I undid over a year’s worth of work in just a couple of weeks. I still can’t believe it shows in my face, neck and hips now too, and not just my stomach and thighs. My tits are 36-B. I’m no Dolly Parton, but I sure miss the little mosquito bites I used to have for boobs!

Well, if we can just get into the fucking house, I can start losing weight and toning up with a new home gym, but for now, I can cut down on the shit I’ve been having.

I also can’t wait to take a break from being on a schedule (can’t believe I’ve been on one for three months now!). I want to take a break from alarms and just get up whenever I wake up for a change. At least for a couple of weeks.

I’m gonna tear these pages out after I’ve typed them, then rebind the typed version in here. Meanwhile, rather than dump all this writing, I’ll send this to Paula.

There goes another vehicle. It’s true that they may not have turned down Meadow Green, much less been connected to in back, but it’s no shock to me we’ve got all these people moving in and I’m hearing more vehicles. Most of them have to be connected. Getting closer.

Tom reminded me that people out here don’t want to draw attention to themselves as they do in Phoenix, it’s a different lifestyle, the roads are too bad for a lot of company, and they’re too far out for a lot of company. He can say this all he wants, but these will be anything but rural folks. Maybe the family won’t do music (just barking and screaming, but the guy and his gal pal will certainly do it all. I’ll take care of them, though, trust me. This ain’t Phoenix no more. Here, there are no laws. You got a problem with someone - you shoot them. Unless Tom wants to sell off our property in chunks like George did so he never has to work again, I’m not moving. I’ll fight for my peace and home this time, even if I have to literally kill for it.

Later...

Now I’ll cover where we went today.

Poor Tom wasted time standing in line forever at the PO for that thing that was too big, which turned out to be a computer CD that was to the guy who had our box before us.

We went to K-Mart and Wal-Mart and got many of the household items we need, but we still need to get doormats, an extra hamper, and new pails for the offices and baths. Of course, his mom will be in the guest suite on weekends.

I still want to get a cushion for the car too, to boost me up to shield me from the sun better, and some for the blue chairs I’ll use in the retreat.

I’ve decided to wait on the murals and the big Angel Barbie. Yeah, they have this really cool huge Barbie I want to get someday.

I got those glass jar lamps I mentioned. A big one for the living room and two little ones for the retreat and office. One of the lampshades I picked out is a pink floral shade and the others are white. One has gold trim. I’ll put flowers in them.

I got a couple of bras and a beautiful velvet purple dress for only $10 that’s like a T-shirt dress. Freesia floral body mist, a couple of pairs of batteries, and more earplugs, I also got.

Got air and fabric fresheners and a new, bigger salt and pepper shaker set that’s nothing fancy. Just plain glass ones like in a restaurant.

I also got a dish/cup/glass/bowl/silverware set with a beautiful pansy design. Summer Blush, the theme’s called. I liked it better than the garden one. Got pink floral dish towels, too.

For the baths - can I ever get 20 things in a row without a problem? Every time I buy stuff, something’s got to be broken. I can’t get past buying 15-20 things without a problem. I got two cute soap dispensers for each bath with floating swans and ducks (the soap goes in a chamber below it) and one of them has a broken pump. Got a couple of toilet brushes, and since we rarely use washcloths, I got two new ones and four bath towels. We don’t bother with hand towels, so I didn’t get any. I got a purple and a pink washcloth. For towels, I got purple, pink, light pink and light blue.