I spoke briefly to Bob and now I’m doing two loads of laundry.

Any minute, beginning tomorrow, I should have a definite moving date. They managed to get a couple of guys from the fire department to move me. Bill will be coming up with them unless he has to work. If he has to work, Tammy will come up.

Shadow’s being all lovey-dovey, of course, after doing a few things that really pissed me off.

Another thing that really irks me is TV. Are the writers on strike or something like that? Everything is all repeats and I thought they don’t rerun the shows till the summer. There have been very very few new shows. Unsolved Mysteries is always showing repeats and with all the crime in this world, you’d think they could come up with new shows.

I wish I could just pack up and get the hell out of here. I’m so goddamn bored and this place is a disaster. I just want to get it all packed and take the fuck off.

Later...

I just sang a few songs. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here remembering and missing some of the old times. Some of the not-so-cool times now make me laugh. At least there was more excitement than I experienced living here, although I don’t prefer to relive certain experiences. Also, it’s not to say that I’ve had no excitement here of a bad nature because I certainly have!

Tomorrow morning I have to call Chief B. I have to see Sheila at 10:15 on Tuesday.

Besides fun memories of Andy and other people, I sure miss Nervous in certain ways. What a source of great entertainment he was being the sucker that he is. For a lot of people. Not just me. Even though Nervous was a sucker and had a number of things about him people resented, we all liked him nonetheless. Nervous and I have had many great talks and he’s done me many favors I really appreciated. Many things wouldn’t have been impossible, but very tough without his help. I miss his spying and playing the crossed-call-waiting game with him.

I wish Andy would call, and one future event I’m really looking forward to is the beach. I’m staying with him for 4 nights and 5 days. I’m looking more and more forward to having summer hurry up and arrive. Always thinking about swimming, tanning and summer clothes. Getting into shape too, even though people say I look fine. I’m getting more and more muscular with time but I really want to get rid of this bloat and pull my inner thighs in a bit.

I laughed when one of Dr. Leitch’s nurses said I was small-framed and also, according to my height, I should be between 103-113 pounds.

Later...

Thank God I was never left-handed. How could I play the guitar if I was? Someone once said to turn the guitar around and I burst out laughing. That’s even more impossible than reading both upside down and backward at once. You’d literally have to change the entire chord patterns.

God, am I gonna miss this apartment! It isn’t worth the 100% isolation, though, that’s for sure.

I know life will never be anywhere near the life I really want. I will feel useless and unfulfilled and rather sad and angry at times but I sure hope it’s better than this. There’s got to be a better life and a way to settle happily for second best. A way to settle down.

I just put Shadow in the stairwell and he better not claw the door. What am I gonna do about him when I move? I sure as hell can’t let him roam around freely while I’m out or asleep. He’ll claw my bedroom door and trash the place and run around. I’d like to get a longer leash that’s a rope type of material rather than this metal chain. He’ll clatter that all over the place. I want to get him a longer leash, too. I haven’t seen the layout of this place on the inside or outside yet, but he must be leashed down. Hopefully, that can be outdoors as he’s a very disrespectful and destructive cat at times and I will not put up with babysitting him. Or cat-proofing my whole entire place. Leashing him down indoors will do no good if he’s that determined to piss me off. You know how he likes to be hit at times and yelled at.

I just got up, went into the stairwell and did something to guarantee he doesn’t wake me up tonight. I took two barrettes, a very long extension cord, and his leash. Hooked his leash to his collar, clamped one barrette to one end of the extension cord, clamped the other barrette and the other end of the cord to a scarf tied onto the railing.

Later...

I just left Kim a note and stuck my answering machine inside my cabinet. I do that so as not to be woken up by its clicking as it resets itself. I hate that. The good thing about it is, though, if I’m up and have forgotten to turn on my ringer and someone calls it clicks right before and after their message. If they leave one. Fran or maybe even Andy will probably try calling tonight.

Well, I’ve got to go and at least lay down at this point. I have written a total of 42 pages between my last journal and the beginning of this one. I’m still in the kitchen so I’m gonna get my tired butt out of this chair and move on into the bedroom. I wish early evening would just hurry up and arrive so I can go to sleep.