For starters, I went out last night and it was horribly boring. There were a few feminine ones there, all taken, naturally. I’m too old to be playing this game and I told Andy that if he’s gonna go out he’s gonna have to go alone or with someone else. The scene just isn’t for me and neither are butches. Everyone says to think positive and a feminine one will come to you. Yeah, right. They also say when you’re expecting nothing to happen, you’ll get what you want. Sure. If that were true I’d have been getting hit on left and right for the last two years. It’s truly impossible and not meant to be but at least I didn’t get hit on by a butch or a man. I asked God that if He were never planning on sending me what I want, please have men hit on me less often. A lot less often. I just wish I could settle for a butch and get turned on by people I’m not attracted to. I beg for Him to help me find the way to settle. Not for a man cuz they’re so hard to deal with, become too pushy, and give me a higher chance of diseases and of course pregnancy. I just want to someday be able to settle for a butch even if it takes time.

I called SRP to transfer my electricity and then the refill number on that cream Andy’s gonna pick up after work. I hope he remembers. He’s always remembered before. I do his laundry for all these little favors.

I also called US West and got a phone! It’s an ugly number but at least it’s a phone. I gave Tammy the number and swore her to secrecy.

My letter of credit from CT is no good cuz it was only for 4 months, but I’m glad as I know my weaknesses. I’d get carried away with the long distance and there’s no way I could afford an additional $170. It’s already gonna be around $100 to get started, but thanks to Cousin Boo, I can handle that. My monthly charge after that will be around $30. The guy I spoke to did say I’d be able to make collect calls. We’ll see. I’ll have 3-way calling, but no call-waiting or call-forwarding. I’m also getting that voice messaging service. I like it so much better and my answering machine is partially broken. When I moved from Deerfield I accidentally yanked the cord out and a part of the module clip that goes into the phone jack snapped off. So, this way I don’t have to keep taping it in, nor do I have to deal with that obnoxious clicking when someone calls while I’m asleep.

Later...

I’m gonna watch Matlock soon and Tara says she’s gonna come over. That’s what she says, but we’ll see as she’s said that before. I wanna show her my new dress from mom and dad. I saw her, Tonya and Sue at the pool. Pat, Ed’s roommate, was there also. I figured he’d be evasive due to my little run-in with Ed, but he was very nice.