Thursday, June 10, 1993

As of yesterday, I’ve been here for a year. I feel as if I’ve accomplished so much as well as nothing at the same time.

Well, L.A. was all one big fucking con. Just one big fucking joke. I’m right back where I’ve always been with my singing - nowhere. I’m both shocked and not shocked. I’m not shocked cuz I really believe God doesn’t want me to have my dream or anything else that really matters to me. I’m shocked cuz Scott’s the last person I ever thought would be a con artist.

Well, I hope Scott’s real fucking happy. I rearranged my whole fucking schedule and got all psyched up over nothing. He knew exactly what he was doing and intended this from day one. The anger, frustration, anxiety and depression over this are gonna last quite a while. I’m not gonna ever let myself lose this bitterness for the sake of protecting myself. I hope he knows he’s made just as much an ass of himself as he has of me. You don’t know how it’s been one hell of an ordeal to restrain myself from going over there and bashing his head. He obviously knows this as he’s not called or come over. He’s chicken shit and no doubt very embarrassed.

He’ll get his, though, and I’ll write more about it later.

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