I have quite a bit to discuss and some of it isn’t cool.

The Candy Store hired me on the 12th. Up front, they promised me I could work nights. Friday night I made $141! Then these idiots had the nerve to tell me I couldn’t come back but was welcomed to their club in Bullhead City. That’s 4 hours away! They offered to drive me and pay for my food and hotel, but I’d be gone for weeks at a time. Away from all my stuff. No thanks. This is legit, though, as other dancers said they’ve done it before, too. Bullhead City is deader than dead. Finally, they told me I could stay with them if I’d work days. Fuck that!

Last night I called Centerfolds, only to not be told what I should’ve been told over the phone. Instead, Andy came all the way over here, I got all decked out only to go there and be told they had too many night shift girls. I told them over the phone I’d only work nights. There were a lot of girls in there, too. Of all different types. Some were bigger, some were smaller. They also own Band-Aids and they told me I’d be hired there, but it’s too far away.

Then, Andy checked the New Times. Everything was so far away, but I called a place called Favors that does private room dancing. The girl there said they usually make $500 - $900 a week, but it’s 25 minutes away. I called the cab company and asked how much the fare would be and I was told $15. You have to work 5 days a week, so both ways would be $150 a week in cab fare! This is crazy.

I also called an ad for a model, but the guy said it’d be only once a week for two hours and only $10 an hour.

My last choice and only choice is to return to the Mile High. However, with the way everyone’s been going back on their word with me, I’m afraid they’ll do that too, even though I’ve been told I could return if I wanted or needed to. While I was talking to Tammy, I was talking to Mark and he said to call him tomorrow. This tells me something scary. Where the fuck do I go if he contradicts me too? I’ll just have to call tomorrow and hope for the best. I’ll pray to God, but don’t know if I believe in that or if it’ll work.

I just called the Mile High and now fucking Mark’s going back on his word, too! That motherfucker!

I just paged Steve and he’s checking into the name of a possible nearby escort service, but he doesn’t know if it’s still open. He also may know in a week if he’s gonna be running some other escort service. If I were to try Favors, he said he’ll cut 1/3 of the fare and have his day driver take me in and he’d take me home. The last possibility is Highlighters. I called them and they’re accepting applications. So, it’ll be either Favors, an escort service Steve will run, Highlighters, or this other one that’s closer if it’s open.

I’m really fucking pissed at the Candy Store and the Mile High. Every time I get something set up that’s good for me as far as money and schedules, someone just has to come and fuck it all up. I would’ve done really well working nights at the candy store, but it’s their loss, too. They’re losing someone good.

There are other possibilities, but they’re way in the future if they ever happen. It has to do with Tom and his computers and maybe my music and or edits. He’s been working these 12-hour killer shifts and he wants to change jobs. Computers are his thing. He mentioned something about how he designs the instructions for Nintendo games and would need to use my ear for certain pitches. We’ll see, but in the meantime, he has a computer hooked up to a keyboard, so what music you play is printed out so you don’t have to write it. He’s also checking into my getting my songs sold once and for all. If he can figure out how to get that started, I’ll take it from there.

Andy asked why in the world I want to sell my songs and get so little while someone else could make millions. Well, I’m never gonna be rich and famous and singing my own songs, so why not let someone else do it? Little money’s better than no money.

I just went to call Andy, but he’s either on the phone or has it off the hook as it only rang once.

Tom took me to see my new doctor last Monday. She was nice, but some time before I go back I must have blood work done. Fun, huh?

I also have to make an appointment at Montgomery/Ward to have my picture taken, but these things aren’t my top priority now.

I haven’t edited Stacey’s message yet to put on the machine over there, but on the 16th, Judy left a message. She only said that if this were still my number, please call her back. She never left a reason. It’s probably over the rent they say I owe that I don’t owe. It could also be to question me about Bob’s letter, but how could they tie that to me? All they can do is suspect me.

Speaking of the VV, well, there were two guys shot over there a few days ago. They arrested a guy I don’t know. In fact, Andy called up Judy to ask about it. She said the people who were shot don’t even live there, and no residents were involved.

I edited Tom the other day and he sure got a kick out of it. He and I get along so great (for now). He does seem understanding of how hard it is for me to trust people and why, but right now, at this moment, we have a great friendship. He’s very sensitive and even though we’re complete opposites, we don’t try to change one another. Opposites almost never get along. So far he’s kept his word on things and he says he’s treating me to a trip to Vegas in about 4 weeks, but I still have to see it to believe it as much as I think he’s telling the truth. He said, “Ok, I understand. I like to prove myself anyway.”

DES sent a letter for an appointment for food stamps. Then, they turned around and sent a change report form and I said could do it by mail. I’ll try, but it’ll be hit or miss.

I still have to see Andy and Tom’s new place. Andy says he likes it where he is, but the guy above him stomps 24 hours a day. Well, I can’t say I pity him as whoever lives below him is hearing the same thing from him.

Andy’s gonna rent a camcorder one of these days soon, so we can film our apartments and surroundings for our families. We’ll split the cost.

A few days ago Andy was here, and guess who he ran into as he was driving out? Driving in front of him was none other than Conman himself. They ended up talking for an hour and a half. Andy began to follow him and so they pulled over to talk right by my old apartment.

He swears up and down that he’s gonna give Andy his stuff back this Saturday, but we know he’s full of shit. He’s a head player. He likes to promise shit he’s never gonna do and he obviously loves to go to court. The head player swears he never had any intentions of conning me, but I know that’s BS too. He said he has canceled plane tickets as proof. He bitched that I was supposed to have trusted him to take me on the 7th, and cuz I called Steve twice, he canceled it. Yeah, right. Great excuse. He mentioned me calling his father, but I didn’t do that till after the 7th. He said I called Pepsi but that’s BS cuz I don’t even know who to call. I know they’re not listed as Pepsi. Probably some kind of machine repair service, but there are so many. Andy said that we both know he never intended to take me to L.A. And that he doesn’t know Bill. Naturally, he denied it as well as the letter I got in the mail two days ago.

It was addressed to “Slut” O and it said: Dear Jodi: You sick, ugly, dancing whore. We all know where you live. Your Caller ID won’t save you. The police will be by to escort you back to Mass. where you belong, love???

Very few people know I have Caller ID and what happened in MA. Of everyone I know, this is Scott’s style and perfect timing. It could’ve been Steve too, as they’re tight together. They’re an “item.” It could’ve been someone at the VV, but I highly doubt it and I’ll get into why I doubt it in a moment. The thing of it is, though, they addressed it to the other apartment. I’ll bet Scott couldn’t remember the new apartment number off the top of his head, so he wrote the old one knowing it’d be forwarded here. He was probably too terrified to chance running into me if he came by here. I doubt Scott wrote it as it’s too neat for a male to have written. I’ll bet he had Crystal write it.

I doubt Stacey had anything to do with it, but there’s a slim possibility. She could’ve gotten my forwarding address, suspected me on Bob’s letter and done it. She never liked me, especially in the beginning, and she’s very serious, old-fashioned and very narrow-minded. She would be the type to hate dancers, she knows I have Caller ID and she knows about MA.

The only other possibilities are Donna and Andi over there, but they don’t have the info about MA or caller ID.

It’s definitely Scott and Steve, but the difference between Stacey and Keri over here is the difference between black and white. Scott and Steve are great for each other and they can have a happy life together, but it’s only a matter of time before they both fuck each other over.

Scott said he could’ve sent the tape to MA and gotten me in big trouble.

Bull. He wouldn’t even know who to contact and where. I also spoke to a cop for info as far as the tapes go and he says they’re not admissible in court. Who the fuck knows, but I am far from worried. It’d kill his ego to go to the cops anyway. Scott’s got 3 major problems. 1. He lies. 2. He never does what he says he’s gonna do. 3. He contradicts himself and or denies things that he or others said or did.

Andy said several times he wanted to come fuck me up, but Crystal stopped him. Yeah, right. A girl who hates me and is totally on his side is gonna stop him? The truth is, he’s fucking terrified of me and we all know it.

He said, why should he help me? What’s he get in return? Andy told him the truth and that’s that he would’ve had a grateful friend and I would’ve helped him in any way possible.

I can sense, and have been told by Scott himself, how fucked up Crystal is. Well, they can both fuck each other over. They deserve each other.

Now here’s the best of the Scott news as far as the tape’s concerned. He is fucking terrified, according to Andy! Great. I don’t feel one bit guilty after all he’s done to me. Andy could see how the tape had him all stressed out and scared shitless. Scott also says he’s terrified I’m gonna fuck up his cars. He also says he’s still having problems with Eric and the office here as far as his apartment goes. Good. He deserves it. He can feel many of the things he’s made me feel. He’s always gonna have enemies till he learns how to treat people.

In other news, I just called the Candy Store and asked for Russ. He’s the owner and Omar’s cousin. I told him again I can’t work days, but does he have anything open for nights yet? He told me to call him Monday but I can’t buy anything anyone says till I see it work out. I really do want to return if nothing else comes up. The money’s great there and the girls were nice.

There’s this gorgeous girl there who says she’s bi. I know she’ll never call me, but I gave her my number anyway. There are a few girls working there that I know. Sativa (who goes by Chanelle), Rena, and none other than the gorgeous Marcella herself.

At the pool today I met this very pretty and nice girl named Susan who’s visiting from Flagstaff. She’s had gay friends but I think she’s straight.

Two days ago I met a really nice couple and their 10-year-old son at the pool.

As far as Alicia, well, I met her a couple of weeks ago and there’s no way I want to be her friend. She’s more of a wacko than Ellie was. She didn’t do anything to me, but I have a feeling she may if I don’t avoid her. I’m surprised that she hasn’t called. Anyway, we met at the pool where she lives and she reminds me so much of K.D. Lang. K.D. Lang’s ugly, butchy and she’s very plain. Very tall and skinny and she’s bi. She’s addicted to a million different medications due to anxiety, stress, depression, anger, you name it. She talks frantically non-stop and I can’t get a word in edgewise. She flips from one very emotional subject to another, and no, I was never that bad myself.