Yesterday morning I didn’t fall asleep till 10:30! I set my alarm for 4:30, but kept hitting the snooze till 7:30.

Andy didn’t get here till 10:30. He did not want me to see his place cuz he says it’s trashed. His brother sent his stereo so he’s got boxes all over. He loves his new place but says all the people who work there are incredibly rude. There’s a guy above him too, who has two little kids running around like crazy here and there. Especially on weekends. The office said they’d do whatever they could, even evict him if the problem continued. Then, a day later he said they said, “Well, we know him. He’s a good friend of ours.”

As if to say - fuck you. So he’s gonna have me call there and say I used to live there and I want their main office address to write in great things. Then, he’ll write in how he feels and sign it.

I’ve been having unfortunate vibes about him being unhappy there, despite how much he loves his apartment He says there are car alarms always going off, people always park in fire and handicapped lanes and blast their music.

He brought us stuff from McDonald’s as well as $70. He also gave me a gorgeous shirt. It’s of rayon-type material with bright neon colors streaking through a black background. He gave me 4 no-postage needed envelopes, a funny tax form thing, Andrea’s tax bill for $174, Stevie’s address and an address and phone number for two different things.

The same agency (Carefree Records) is looking for female models for CD covers, videos and whatever else. Also, a wealthy investor is looking for talent, (I guess that means singers).

I’m on call tomorrow, then I work the next 4 nights.

At 7:30 yesterday morning I left Stacey’s edits on the VV machine. At 9:00 Andy, Sarah and I were on the phone. Andy decided to call her and thank her for being a credit reference when he rented the CD player. Also, to see if she’d say anything.

Paula quit, but as Katrina (Paula’s replacement) answered, we could hear her and Judy saying, “That’s weird!”

It’s just our luck that Stacey’s on vacation this week. I’ll do it again next week and I’ll make it even better. The part where she says, “It’s our goal to provide you with the best service,” will be replaced with, “It’s our goal to provide you with nothing.” I know I have Nervous saying the word “nothing” around here somewhere. I’ll use him for that word.

Speaking of Nervo, I spoke to him last evening. He really does believe those nude computer prints are of me. I told him to expect The Beat, the tape, and letters, and I updated him on my life.

I laughed when he said he’d never waste his money on a computer, cuz all it is is a glorified typewriter.

Yeah, sure.

He said Linda moved to Kentucky and now he’s dating Crystal. From her telling me they’re just friends, and by the sound of her voice, I doubt they’re dating.

Andy agreed that my tan looks natural, but my feet are too white and the palms of my hands are too dark.

I gave him about 20 bars of soap, cuz I like gel soap better.

Later...

After I spoke to Nervous, I called Kim. She’s still having Bob problems. She was over at his place recently and he asked her if she’d make love to him. She told him she didn’t know whether to laugh or to kill him. She’s expecting a please-forgive-me letter any moment.

Why does she go see him? I know she only does once in a great while, but if she’s so fed up with him, why does she bother?

She and Alex aren’t always getting along. She says he’s quite emotional. She still hopes to get out here by the fall, but I’ll still have to see it to believe it.

Bob will never move out here. He’s the type to consider things out loud but never does them. I’ll tell him this in my next letter, cuz come on. Does he think I’m stupid? Shockingly, I’ve received no letters from him lately. Probably too depressed. Kim hasn’t sent the letter I wrote to him from “Nick.” She says she will this week from Vermont.

I still have to call the bank and get my picture taken one of these days.

I’m gonna get my period any minute. I’m sooooo bloated. My tits are killing me and I have slight cramps that tell me it’s on its way. I’ll have to cut the tampon cord at work. Fun, huh?

Later...

I just made popcorn and listened to music. I even sang a little. Soon I must take my meds.

I called Heather, who trimmed my bangs when I first got here. Her husband answered and I left my number. I need 2” trimmed. It hasn’t been trimmed in 9 months and the ends are very split. It’s getting a bit scraggly looking.

Tom gets in at 8:00 and I told him to call. Whether or not I’ll be up, who knows?

I realized something if I ever get a binding system. That is that there’s plenty of room on the sides of the paper after you print whatever on it to punch holes in, then put it in a 3-ring notebook. There’s a 2” margin on both sides, but you can adjust that too, however you want it.

God! I want a computer and a printer badly! Will I have my very own within a year? I sure hope so, but I don’t ever count on anything till it’s been done.

I owe only $55 this week in fees, but I sure hope I make great money Friday - Monday. I want to get the $100 paid to the office, the $89 to APS and $50 to Tom. I need groceries, too. I have to ask my dad about taxes. Lea tells the tax guy how much each girl made quarterly. I guess I must file at the end of the year. Does this mean I’ll owe money? Especially since all my money’s made in cash? If I end up owing, will it be a ton of money?

I’ve done 17 journals since I got here, but of course, it’s more like 13 or 14 cuz of large print, drawings and other odds and ends.

Andy also brought me 25 pages or so from a 100-page chain letter his friend Donna got. I sent 5 pages in a no-postage-necessary envelope and 20 to Nervo.

Boy, do I look really tan! Wish I got this stuff a long time ago. Well, I’ll never be white again, but I must get plastic gloves. I look as if I have a black person’s hands. Wouldn’t it just be wonderful, though, if this stuff was permanent and never faded? I’m even surprised the stuff’s stayed on this long.

I must go get my meds and make myself coffee which I haven’t had all day.

I’ll finish this journal in a little while, then begin with 41, the one with ballet slippers.

Later...

I just took my meds and had coffee. Just tried to call Tammy, too. It rang and rang and rang. Not even their machine came on. Where the hell are they? I wish they were on their way to see me. When in the hell will my family ever get out to see me? Will it be years? I hope not.

Later...

I am now listening to a tape of Nervous, Fran, and Andy and I’m putting it on Tom’s machine. Later I may do some editing. I’ve got tons of stuff to edit.

I set the alarm for 4:30, but I hit the snooze till 5:30, then I called into work. Everyone was there.

I spoke to Tom briefly at 6:00. He’s picking me up from work tomorrow. Then, we may come back here so I can get shit I don’t want to lug into work with me. I may stay over at his house Friday - Sunday night.

I briefly spoke to Andy and I watched TV.

For 3 days now I’ve been trying to reach Tammy, but there’s no answer. I called Mom (Dad was out playing cards). I said how much I miss everyone and she said that maybe she and Dad could come see me next spring or summer. Who knows when Tammy and the girls will ever get here?

Mom gave me the same story I get from her every year. She’s sending me old pictures. Yeah, right. Then, she said she was keeping pictures of me. She said something about sending me pictures of my apartment. Which apartment? I’ve only had 9. Then she said she was sending an envelope, then changed it to a package. I wish she’d send my Gloria pictures.