Oh, my fucking God! I just don’t believe it! Larry just called me. I was so caught off guard. I didn’t know what to say. He wished me a happy birthday. He drives a tractor-trailer and is constantly in Phoenix and California. He’s been to the clubs I’ve danced at. He said Dad told him, but he didn’t think ma knew.

Ha! She knew.

His son Larry is 13 and Jennifer is 10.

I simply told him all’s been great since I got here and got my life together. He said he did not want to get involved in any family problems, he has his own family and life.

I said that is fine, but to remember how me and Tammy went through the same shit he did.

He said he only called Tammy to make mom and dad happy. I said, “Don’t you think that’s deceiving?” Then, he said he didn’t mind calling her, he just doesn’t want to get in the middle of things. Fine, but now I wonder… did he really want to call me? Or was it just to make mom and dad happy?

Well, I have very mixed emotions about meeting with him. A part of me wants to tell him to fuck off, and the other part’s curious. Tammy did bring up a point. She said how we both know how much I’ve changed, therefore, what’s to say he hasn’t changed too? Oh, I just don’t know what to make of all this right now. Tammy mentioned being hopeful that there could be a way to get along without the anger of the past getting in the way. Well, here’s where I stand on that one - I’m a firm believer in letting dead dogs lay. I try not to hold grudges, but this guy abandoned me. Me, who also went through the same abuse. I was young and naïve, but he couldn’t stand by me. He took his anger on mom and dad out on me. There was no emotion at all in his voice. How do I know he’ll take me for face value and not judge me by my past? I’m not about to explain or defend myself to him or anyone. Maybe we will have to meet face-to-face to decide if I want to associate with him or not. All Tammy told him was I became a very happy, stable person here and engaged to be married in a year. Well, I don’t even want to think about him now.

After a cigarette, I’ll write about my other beautiful caller, then get on with all the many good things going on.

Later...

This day still’s getting weirder and weirder. I just spoke to my mother and believe it or not that went pretty well. They moved to Palm City and they have a 2-bedroom condo. She’s working in an office on computers as a secretary. She said something about dad taking care of some storage thing. He’d just gone out when I called. She left a message yesterday wishing me a happy birthday, so I figured I’d get it over with and call, as she’ll only call again here. I told her I was not dancing now, but was working on the computer and was engaged to be married in a year. She said she was very very happy for me. I also told her a little about Tom and all he did for me yesterday, which I’ll soon get into. I said I’d send pictures of the house and she could send pictures of the new condo. Lastly, I told her of my very mixed emotions regarding Larry.

Later...

Well, now I shall update the 3rd and 4th. Tom was gonna fire up the Jacuzzi but the filter’s broken. It’ll soon be fixed, though.

On Tuesday he’s picking me up the video of The Guardian. Eventually, we’ll also rent Local Hero. If I like how she looks in it, I’ll buy it.

Let’s just say I made out yesterday really well.

Andy called me on midnight the 4th and sang me a happy birthday. Today he may be over at 6 PM. He’s getting me a CD and I need to sew another pocket for him.

On the 6th & 7th, he’s going to Laughlin with Velma.

After I spoke to him, I called Gina at 12:30 AM on the 4th. She wished me happy birthday live on-air and played the song, They Say It’s Your Birthday. Stan was on again too, and I left Andy a few messages. She got the letter and my picture and thanked me for sending it. She also used the promo tape of me, Stan and Tammy last Tuesday from 9 AM-noon. That’s cool.

One more thing I forgot to mention about mom - she’s sending me a package and their new address will be on it.

Later...

I just spoke to Nervous for a few minutes.

Now let me finally get into all I did and got yesterday. I got up at 11:30 PM on the 3rd. I fell asleep again at 6 AM till I heard Tom open the cake at 8:30. He got a nice chocolate cake that said, “Happy Birthday, Jodi.” There were two candles, unlike anything I’d ever seen before. They were two tall, skinny candles. A pink one and a purple one. He said the reason why there were two was cuz there are two of us. How sweet.

I gave him his Chanukah card and he gave me a birthday card. What it says really hits the nail on the head. Here’s what it says: We share a very special kind of love because we share so many other things, too – happy memories, precious dreams, little everyday discoveries, private jokes that no one else would understand. We even think alike in a lot of ways, but not about everything....just enough to make life interesting. It’s no wonder I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.

Tammy called too, and said she didn’t send anything cuz she’s sending a family portrait. Believe me, I want this more than a check. This way I can put it in the living room, or somewhere here and bring them closer to me.

This is when I told Tammy about Tom and I and she congratulated me and said she was happy for me. She also asked how old he was cuz she always wanted an older brother. They’re the same age, but Tom’s almost two months older. Good enough.

Enclosed in my birthday card were the stickers in this book. They’re also on the covers of the previous and next journals.

Tom took me to Red Lobster where I got a combo of shrimp, lobster and crab legs. It was great and he got steak.

I then went to withdraw $20 and we went to Target’s department store. I bought a journal with a little girl on it. A real one, not a drawing. I got a white satin G-string and a purple one, too. Got 4 overcolor markers and 4 undercolor markers. I used them a few pages back, as well as on the back cover of this book for the entry dates. Lastly, I got 5 neon-colored poster boards to paint on with neon paint that glows in the dark.

It is absolutely beautiful out now, but I wish I could go swimming!

Well, guess I’ll lie down for a while till I hear from Andy.