So much for writing later, huh?

Got a Christmas card and a letter from Alex today. I typed him a letter and one to my brother and his family. I also sent about 6 drawings to them.

Linda Ronstadt is supposed to be performing tonight so I’ve set the VCR up.

I’m really glad Tom printed out that list of all the movies Norah’s been in. Now I can just skim through the TV guide in search of those titles and not have to read every single one. It’ll be easier whenever we go to a video store. Now I’ll know what to look for. I also want to print more pictures.

I’m doing a couple of loads of laundry now. After a cigarette, I will explain all about my not-so-pleasant night last night.

Later...

I had been constipated till 3 in the morning last night. I had the runs for over an hour, but I survived it.

I’m back to 99 pounds, but I feel all mushy. I have to make some serious changes when I exercise. The only question is what changes do I make? I only get temporary results and that’s pretty frustrating. For one week there’s a difference and I look and feel great. Then, I seem to lose all those results.

I really liked the idea Alex wrote about in his letter to me. About being video-signing pen pals. He hasn’t gotten a camcorder yet, but he says he plans on it this coming year.

Tomorrow we’re both anxiously excited about screwing. I still wonder if things will change with him. I have my doubts, cuz seeing is believing for me. I know everyone is different, but he sure is different. The last time he was in there he would go really slow, telling me how good it felt, how I had the perfect pussy and it makes him never want to cum. I asked him if it would bother him if I were never able to cum by him in me. He said no and asked me if it would bother me if he never did cum. No, cuz less mess and that shit smells like bleach. Yes, if we’re going to have a kid. He says it’ll be no problem. I know there’s nothing wrong with him, but I hope he’s not just saying he wants a kid. I’m sure he’d say so if he didn’t and he’s always been honest about stuff like that, but if he continues not to cum for too many more months, I will start to wonder. Wonder if he really wants it and if it’s really meant to be. I’m really glad we waited, though, even though we had no idea till a few months ago about the surgery. Sure, with him and his family, we could’ve gone through this with a kid, but it sure is easier when you don’t have to. In the end, I agree with what he said. The less we worry, the easier it’ll be. It’s all in the hands of fate, as they say.

Singing session after next ciggie break.