Not much has happened in the last few days. Today’s appointment went well. The good news is that there should only be about 4 follow-up appointments after surgery, then I won’t have to see him for 6 months to a year.

After all the ear stuff is out of the way. I’ll hardly ever have doctor appointments. Especially since I’ll never have a kid. Knowing I’ll never have a kid is one thing. Accepting it is another. I’m sure I will in time. Once I see that Tom still doesn’t cum after he’s changed jobs, we’re in business, and my ear stuff’s over with, it’ll really sink in. The part about it that I’m grateful for is that if we did have a kid, I know I’ll be missing this life so badly. I don’t understand how I could want to put myself through such shit physically, mentally, and financially, and put our marriage in jeopardy. I’m sure I’ll come to my senses soon enough. There were other things I used to want for quite a while that I no longer want, so my feelings will change for the better if they don’t diminish completely.

Got other things to do, so I’ll write later.