By 8:00 I had been woken up 3 times. For breakfast, gown exchange, and med tank call. That ditz Mejia turned our light on last night thinking the mouth was in here, and it was about an hour before she remembered to turn it back off.

They didn’t have a small town, so I settled for an extra-large. Although a small fits me best, I can move around in a roomier gown easier.

The juvi mouth went off last night at 3rd shift change. How the hell can anyone hear her? She’s not vented to anyone else but us. First I asked her politely to be quiet and she did for a while, then when I told her to shut up, she did for good.

Got the usual commissary items. The hard candy I get has 5 flavors and one of them I don’t like is lemon so I’ll give it away. I’m going to get a little of everything come my last commissary order because I’m not going to be living on junk when I get out.

Silvia said to me as I was walking by, “It’s quiet today, huh (because Monkey Face Maria was in court)?”

I walked around the dayroom for 20 minutes. Once our hour out starts getting too early, I’ll pace more in the cell. I usually do that around midnight when Marilyn’s asleep. All she does is sleep night and day. It’s great. Wish all my cellies could be like her! Midnight’s prime time for me, anyway. My peak hours are from around 8 PM–4 AM. It’s been more like 6 PM–2 AM in here, though.

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Saw Tom and he looked great. A little tired, though, as he said. I look forward to us doing all kinds of things when I get out. I understand flying to Vegas and taking a cruise has to wait, but that’s OK. I’m not ready for that, anyway. Maybe in our golden years. Or at least silver or bronze. It’ll be too hot for miniature golf, and I know we can’t get any porcelain dolls for quite a while, but we can go to the record store, the department store to get his razor and maybe me a Barbie, and I can catch up on Whataburger, KFC, Chinese, etc.! Can’t wait! Still 75 days away, though. Thursday I’ll have 2½ months and Sunday I’ll have 10 weeks.

I appreciate Tom’s reading my journals. He’s the only one I can share them with without getting in trouble.

He’s still sure I can stay working at home, and I want to believe him, but can’t shake the bad feeling I’ve had about that ever since I entered this dive. Why would I have it if it weren’t for a reason? Could this simply be paranoia? And remember, he’s overly optimistic and I’m psychic. My track record is too accurate for comfort when it comes to these kinds of grim vibes.

Futch is on now. Never seen her before, but she says she’s not new. She says they never put her here. I hope they don’t decide to quit sticking Palma here, but there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s in my fantasies while I’m still here, then forever in my memories when I leave.

In Tom’s letter to me, he gave me names/addresses, but as I told him, I’m not going to waste my time on useless motions. Although the living conditions have improved, except for the food, the complaint address would still be nice to have.

He’s not going to Vegas and he might not get that job he mentioned getting at the bank, but will keep trying for a higher-paying job there.

He says Harry screams like Houdini’s killing him, although he’s not.

I guess Monkey Face Maria’s not all that bad after all, but she’s still too loud and I’ll be glad to see her go. When she came back from court and was out on her hour, I asked what happened in court and she said, “Nothing.” Then she came to the door and said, “Oh, you look so pretty.” That’s what Ida said about my hair.

Anyway, she told me that after the Alpha program, she can go home. Then she said she was sorry for sounding rude earlier, but was tied up talking to someone else. I told her it was no problem and that I was sorry for yelling at her for waking me up. She laughed, saying she couldn’t stay mad at me for that, thanked me for caring, then took off.

But I don’t care. I just wanted to know when she’s going to get the hell out of here!

Christoffers just walked by breaking for Futch (I hope Palma at least breaks for someone soon)! She was friendly to everyone, but as usual, not a word to me. As soon as she’s on again I intend to return every evil, hateful glare she gives me. Although I only saw her for a second, her look was actually pretty expressionless tonight. I’d rather never see her again, but I know it’s just a matter of time before she’s on again. The question is, though, will she go beyond just mean glares? I hope I never find out!

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Wow! Got a surprise from Tom, Helen and Christoffers.

Tom made me an adorable Valentine’s card on the computer with pictures of kittens and rats (my favorite picture of Houdini and Ratsy). Makes me feel bad for not being home to make him one. I can’t even make one here because I have no plain paper at the moment, and haven’t for a while. Anyway, I love his card that says: Jodi, you’re my Valentine forever. I love you and miss you.

Got a cute one from Helen with Snoopy blowing pink heart bubbles with green glitter. I did not expect this, that’s for sure. Didn’t really expect Tom’s either (we rarely do cards), so they came as a real surprise. Helen’s says: Dear Jodi – Our weather is getting wonderful again – I hope you get a chance to get out some. I’m glad you are getting along with people at all the levels while you’re there. There is a loud message there – you’re likable! Take that one in, digest it, remember it, use it to your advantage! Fondly, Helen.

Although there was a Phoenix return address (probably her home) on Helen’s card, she didn’t ask me to use it, so I’ll keep sending her mail to her office in Tempe.

Christoffer’s surprise was that she actually spoke to me. She let the nurse in for Marilyn and I gave her a mean glare and she asked if I was OK and I nodded. I wonder if she’d ever have spoken to me if I hadn’t given her a taste of her own meds?

I’d still like to know why it was that Jackson and Jill moved us, and if they plan to make a habit of it. I sincerely hope not. We move enough as it is without their help.

I never thought I’d like all these rap songs. The lyrics are so hateful, though. I guess blacks are very angry people.

I have a bad belly because of all the candy, but it’s either junk food or no food, although the last two dinners have been OK and enough to fill up on. It varies.

Saw Nottelmann working the controls on my way from seeing Tom, so she’s still around. That’d be fun working controls. I’d have that slider shutting on people left and right, and I’d make like I was going to open doors, then quickly relock them. I’d have all kinds of fun, as I was telling Chavez, who said, “Yeah, I’m sure you would, you little prankster. I wouldn’t even work here at that point.”

Tate’s on now. It looks like she’s going to keep the dayroom fully lit.