My life sure as hell has been more eventful out here than back east, even if some of the events weren’t good. Back east, my residence may’ve changed a lot, but I basically knew the same kinds of people and did the same kinds of things. I hung out with mostly losers, made prank phone calls, and spent a lot of time being lonely and getting out of New England. That was the highlight of my life from 1986-1992.

I think what makes the probation more infuriating than jail, not that being thrown in jail for the freeloaders who badgered me wasn’t infuriating enough, but I’m not getting anything out of this shit. No Rosas, no Teddy Bears, no nothing. And I don’t care if that sounds selfish or not.

August 8th stands out in my mind for some reason. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, though. Maybe that’ll be the day Tom finds out for sure if he’s getting a new job at the bank with a raise. I vibed that he’ll get it and get a 5% raise. That’ll put him at around $16 an hour. Pretty good for Arizona.

We got a fluorescent bulb for the kitchen light that burned out. There are two lights in that big kitchen. One by one as the regular bulbs blow, we’ll replace them with fluorescent bulbs. They’re $11, but they’re supposed to last 5 years.

I’ve been considering a liquid diet. Liquid diets can be easier than diets that consist of food. Eating is like smoking – it’s easier to be all or nothing. But if I lost the weight, then what? That’s the real problem there, not losing weight. I could lose it. The question is – how do I keep it off? My body’s going to naturally want to reset itself at the weight it was meant to be at, that it feels most comfortable at in this day and age. Just like I was stuck at 124 pounds the first time I got fat since being in Arizona, I’m now stuck at 117. That’s better than 124, but I can’t budge below 117 without coming close to starving, then as soon as I eat the usual amount I eat, I jump back up to 117. This is why a part of me is hesitant to lose the weight in the first place, knowing how easy it’d be to slap it right back on.