Although my toe stung and throbbed last night, I didn’t wake up with the achy toe I expected today. When the other doctor treated my toe, I woke up several times in pain. It just shows how much better this doctor is—she did a far better job.

It took me a few minutes to snip the bandage off this morning. I thought the toe would look kind of gross, but it doesn’t, and I’m not walking with a limp either. However, it doesn’t mean I should hit the treadmill just yet. I soaked it in Epsom salt and decided not to put a Band-Aid on it yet so I could let it air out for a while. Band-Aids can actually slow the healing process.

The doctor seemed really understanding that what happened last summer put a complex on me when it comes to all things medical. Even though I have improved immensely, the fears caused by such trauma don’t usually dissipate in just days or even weeks; it takes months. I still worry that my heart may race even on just 50 mcg. Living in fear is terrible. When nothing is actually happening to me, I worry that it will. However, I have no doubt that each month passing without incident will make it easier for me.

In last night’s dreams, my mother was still alive, and apparently, I was living with her. The economy was really bad, so she wanted to close up the house and have us go live somewhere else until the recession ended. She went to stay with a friend and then she sent me to the home of the actress Jenny Seagrove, LOL.

She had a huge house, and there were always tons of fun things to do in and around her house. She and I eventually became more than friends. She had a huge pool with a slide that ran down into another pool, which sort of wound around part of her property like a moat. Even though I had just taken a shower, the water was so beautiful that I wanted to take another swim.

Next thing I knew, Becky, my VH sister, was in the pool with me. She said, ”I’m always just a few minutes and one phone call away.” I was touched at how much she still cared about me and went to hug her. She stiffened up and kind of pushed me away, though. I thought it was a bit strange, but I was having too much fun to really care.