It’s almost May yet it’s getting down to 47° tonight. It was anything but cool in my sleep. Yeah, the hot flashes are back. I’ve been waking up warm for the last week or so, but last night my heart raced as well. It stopped pretty fast after I got up to pee and then I fell back asleep. Overall I slept okay the last three nights and had plenty of energy for cleaning Tom’s room and bathroom. Tomorrow I’ll do my room and bathroom. Wednesday I’ll do the kitchen and dining area and Thursday I’ll do the living room. Friday’s laundry day, though I also do a load on Saturday so his work pants are clean.

I’d really like to get a waterbed because they’re so comfortable, they don’t get saggy after a while, and I figured I’d be less likely to overheat I’m one of those, but for reasons I can’t understand, waterbeds are very scarce and very expensive these days. The memory foam craze, something I’ll also never understand, probably caused people to lose interest in it. Air mattresses are awesome comfy and less warm, but I don’t want to have to deal with leaks every few months either.

I’ll more than likely get a new mattress every 5 years and it will be the same one. The reason my mind got stuck on the idea of a high-ender was cuz I figured if it costs more money then it must last 15+ years instead of 5. But the more I think about it, no bed could possibly last that long. Foam breaks down and there’s no getting around that. I can see why they change beds every 5 years in hotels.

When I get the new mattress (we’re waiting until August when it’s closer to the next ball pickup and they can take this mattress as well as the old box spring since we’ll be getting him a new stand) I’ll need to put the body pillow on the far side so that I can roll over to the other side when one side gets heated up.

Just when it seemed like I might be getting at least some of my old libido back, I’ve lost it again and I’m a typical older person, but oh well.

I don’t know if it’s more pathetic or funny that Aly’s been afraid to tweet from her account since I tweeted a birthday wish to her. Why not just go private then? I’m really surprised she hasn’t changed handles and that Kim hasn’t gone on a blocking spree.

I just have to remind myself that it’s pointless to care about those who don’t care about me and probably never did. She may have been intelligent, but she was otherwise a selfish, self-serving, two-faced liar.

That fucking car has come and gone twice in the four hours I’ve been up. It’s actually warming up for a second run out, which is no doubt not its last run. Too early in the day to be its last run. Tom got a look at the scrawny cock that always has a cigarette in its mouth when we were out trimming, and he agrees they’re probably staying with someone and they don’t look old enough to be here. I want to verify what house it’s at and get the license plate. Then I want to contact the office anonymously and have them look into it. If it’s a caretaker, then so be it. But if they’re here “illegally,” I want them gone. I don’t know why I thought it was a Firebird. It’s a light silver car with red writing on the back that clearly says: Subaru. Maybe that’s enough for the office. Now I just have to verify that it’s the house I think it is. It’s next to the house the contractor lived in; the one he looked at and the same one that has kids in it and a dog running loose through a doggie door. Don’t know if the kids are still there, but I’m sure the dog is.

Now someone’s gunning a motorcycle, but at least I haven’t heard landscaping… yet.

Tom should be leaving work in a half-hour. It’s still so weird but nice having him home more often. Just wish it could’ve been this way when I was anxious. Speaking of that, I worry that since the hot flashes are back, the anxiety may return as well. I have three goals I’m hoping to achieve. The first one is to get past my June visit with A without anxiety. Then I want to get to September and beat my six-month record. Then if I can manage to achieve that much, I will hope to finish out the year anxiety-free.

While I had the energy to clean I’m now starting to feel fatigued and almost like I still have slight traces of my cold.

Today I will finish copying individual entries over to Prosebox. I’ll end up with around 8K entries. I’ve written on about 8K dates since I started journaling but probably made over 10K entries since I sometimes do multiple entries in a day.

We did an Amazon order and grabbed another bail of bedding for the rats, him some computer/electronics-related stuff, and a few things for me. A new beautiful fleece blanket with large bright pink flowers, a sapphire crystal wrap bracelet, a few fashions for the BFF Club dolls, and an $18 bottle of shampoo that’s supposed to thicken hair. My hair is still a bit thin on top in the front and just above the temples as well.

Last night I dreamed an older, heavy guy told me he had a bad dream about me. I asked them what it was about and was about to take notes, but woke up before he could tell me.

I also dreamed I was living with some woman and we had this guy staying with us who kept waking us up, so we knew we had to kick him out.