Oh great. Now I can’t email my husband because it thinks I’m spamming him. I like to share my thoughts with him throughout my day when he’s asleep or at work. Pictures too. Guess I’ll have to send him stuff to Gmail instead of Outlook.

So Germany won’t remove their anti-Semitic sculpture. That doesn’t surprise me. If it was anti-black, they would remove it in a heartbeat.

I kind of like how speech-to-text is inserting punctuation for me. The only time I don’t appreciate it is when I stop to think of what I want to say next. Usually, I’ll speak a sentence straight through but not always. I don’t like how it’s capping more words than it should.

Kim left me 44 messages while I slept and OMG! She leaves voice clips much like she tweets. She breaks them up into tons of them with just a single word or two. Only a few of them went for 10 seconds. I can understand most of what she says but every now and then there’s something I don’t catch. I don’t mean this to be mean or anything like that since we can’t help the way we sound but her voice is weird as hell. Not funny, but weird. Voices never sound “funny” to me. Not even when people stutter. To me, a stutter is no different than if someone sneezes or coughs. It’s just a sound.

Kim sounds almost robotic and like she’s on the verge of crying and I realize it’s likely linked to her disability and whatever is wrong with her that got her qualified for Special Olympics. Some form of retardation, I guess. I don’t know what the so-called politically correct word for that is today and I really don’t care. Especially since it’s only going to become a no-no in a decade or so and then there will be some new and proper word until that too, suddenly becomes offensive. So I may as well stick with what I know and was originally taught.

My best buddy may be a little hard to understand at times because she has a bit of a nasally sound and her voice is a little higher pitched than I’m used to, but I have the same problem. Not the higher pitch, but the nasally sound. It comes out when I talk. It comes out when I sing. I’ve had this all my life and I’ve never been able to get rid of it, not that it’s necessarily a bad thing any more than the pitch of one’s voice is. I think it’s easier to change accents than it is for things that are simply a part of our nature that we’re born with. Either way, at least she and I sound human. LOL, Kim sounds anything but normal but I realize it’s beyond her control.

I like exchanging voice clips with her because it’s easier. I don’t do it very often with Aly and other Facebook friends because most of them prefer to read rather than listen.

I was a little anxious yesterday, but not like the day before. The key is not to skip full doses like Tom pointed out. I’m just cutting the dose until a few weeks before labs. But if I have any trouble then and I have to come back down again before labs, fine. It just sucks that there’s a good chance I’m always going to have to choose between fatigue and anxiety, but I still have pretty good energy.

I did a little reading and found that I’m not actually postmenopausal. There are three stages. Perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopausal. Well, I’m not officially postmenopausal until it’s been 24 to 36 months after my last period. I’d like to think he’s right about the anxiety going away someday and that my hormones are still changing and settling in, but I still think it’s most likely on the meds. That’s when all this shit began to happen. And as I read, frequent or severe anxiety or thoughts of suicide and panic attacks aren’t a normal part of the process.

If it isn’t on the meds, maybe I really did acquire some kind of anxiety disorder, even if that seems unlikely. Bodies change over time and the mind can too. But my gut has always been on the meds.

Tom still thinks they’re on the verge of going out of business. He hopes they lay him off rather than simply go out of business because then he’d get a severance package. I really hope they do neither. I still don’t see any good coming out of it. I want to get out of here like yesterday, but it really is smart and safer if he just stays there until he retires.

The weather has been horribly cold. We’ve had a few mornings where we hit freezing.

I feel bad for Aly because Friday she has to have an emergency hysterectomy and will have to put her bone marrow operation on hold because she can only have two major procedures a year covered. At least hysterectomies aren’t the big deal they used to be. It’s minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery where they insert a camera into the belly button and take the uterus out from there. It may be minimally invasive but it sure is a gross thought!