My Second Vista Ventana Apartment…

I moved last Friday the 9th. It’s great up here and I wish I’d been here all along. Dennis, Brian and I moved my shit over using a dolly. The move went fine and we began around 2 PM and finished at 4:30 PM.

I met Brian’s wife who’s a nurse. She’s nice.

No problem with the phone that was all ready when I got here. I really like that voice messaging. It’s great to be able to talk to Andy, Ellie, Tara, Rachel, Dennis and whoever.

Tomorrow, or later, I shall write the millions of things I have to write about.

Later...

When I first moved into 163 S, I got a box of rugs (who knows who they really belonged to?) along with my 30 boxes of stuff Dad packed. I thought these rugs were from them, but they knew nothing about it. I gave them to Andy who used some as car seats. The others were out on his porch. I took two today. One covers a box that has my photo albums and posters. This is out on my porch. The other is to sit on and write. My raft is behind it so I can lean back against it. I was gonna write out there, but the sun’s really searing down. In an hour or so it should be on Andy’s side.

He just got home from work and is now listening to the messages left by Ellie and me.

Tara gave me permission to decorate her machine last night so I did. I also called Rachel. Tara and Rachel may come up later to check the place out. Maybe Stephanie too, but you can’t count on her.

Steph, Andy and I played cards a few nights before I moved.

I got the place all set up in a day, as usual. The only place I kept stalling on setting up was Norwich. I just didn’t want to be there and was too damn depressed. But when I finished I made that sick dive look somewhat livable. It needed all the help it could get. I guess we artistic people are the most creative.

I’ll have to have Dennis come up some time. He and his mother and I did a little food shopping last night. His mom’s got Alzheimer’s disease. She’s funny and is a lot like Andy and I and never makes sense. Only we know when we’re goofing off and intending not to make sense. She doesn’t. Alzheimer’s people can really turn on you, so I wouldn’t want to spend much time around her.

Later...

Andy called as I was finishing my last sentence. He’s gonna take me out to the King’s Table and I’ll do his laundry in exchange. The King’s Table is an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s really nice. He says Stephanie’s gonna go with us.

It’s beautiful here and so much more private.

The night I moved in Jeff said, “Welcome to the building.” Later he called up to me asking if I wanted to say hello. I said I was busy.

The next day I made popcorn which I promised him for the shrimp he gave me. I knew it was also time to set him straight up front. I told him that this was his IOU, so to speak, and that I don’t over-associate with neighbors.

He said, “OK, we’ll give it time.”

I said, “There’s no time to give it and I will not be available to you for sex.”

We haven’t spoken since then, but I could’ve sworn I heard him call up to me last night. I’m not sure, but if I need to do to him what I did to Mark, I will. I’ll make his life miserable here if I have to. I refuse to associate with male neighbors anymore! Males in other buildings are a different story.

Last night I think someone was peeping through their blinds in the building next to mine and watching me on my patio, but who gives a fuck about that?

About 5 days before transferring I really let Mark have it. First, the little fuck asked for a cigarette. I told him it was his last one as I’m no cigarette machine. He said he was too drunk to go to the store. I told him that was his problem and gave him the scissors to cut the filter. The little fuck carried on with the mouth and tried giving me a hard time giving me the scissors back. I got them eventually and he told me he wanted to piss me off. So, the little fuck went inside his place and I told him he got what he wanted. I went off for nearly two hours screaming outside his door. My rage built up and I chucked rocks at his door, fucked up the inside of his truck and demanded he open his door. Chicken shit stayed inside, but it felt so good to just go off. He’d pushed the last button, but I knew he enjoyed it and that was the final straw anyway. I was fed up. He’ll get his. He thinks he’s seen the last of me, but one by one his treatments will come. I wish that fuck face had a phone, but I left Robert a few messages late Friday night.

It was funny how Mark asked me why everything was off the walls when he was standing in the doorway. I said I waved my magic wand and made it all disappear. He remained in his place as we moved, but on my way out, after having Judy inspect, I yelled out, “Bueno bye!”

Later...

Rachel, Stephanie and Andy came over. They really liked how I decorated and fixed the place up.

All 4 of us went out to eat and it was nice. Rachel seemed both happy and depressed. I guess she misses her boyfriend in Oregon.

Tara may be calling anytime now.

Yesterday I met Andi’s best friend’s parents next door. They were sitting inside her place with the door open, but Andi wasn’t there. They were very nice and said we’d really like each other. Andi’s 27 and goes to school and works. That explains why she’s never home. Neither is Jeff, so that’s good.

You could see this woman and her husband were thinking what I think. That is, gee, it’s nice to see Andi’s got a nice female neighbor and not some perverted male.

I sang 3 songs and she said I have a beautiful voice. Also, to come see her at her antique store in the mall. Lastly, she said thanks for introducing myself, and maybe she’ll see me Monday. They seem very nice and made me feel comfortable and I hope Andi turns out to be a fun and great neighbor like some were in Springfield. I’m looking forward to meeting her, surprisingly enough for a girl weary of people. Especially neighbors.

I can’t wait for Fran to call. So far today when I checked my voice messaging there were two hang-ups. Maybe it was either Fran or Nervous. The great thing about VM is that if they do hang up you don’t get that long obnoxious dial tone. But if you do you can just hit 33 and it’ll go to the end of that message. I really love VM and there’s no answering machine doing that annoying clicking. It’s got lots of nice features.

I still have so many more things to write about, but I must take a break. My back is sore.

Later...

I just spoke with Andy who’s gone to bed. I got up at 2:30 yesterday and at 1:30 today. It is quieter here. The only obnoxious thing you hear is kids. Today nothing woke me up. Yesterday at 8:30 AM I thought I heard footsteps, but I must’ve been dreaming cuz Andy was asleep. Then, at 11:30 AM yesterday I woke up to Jeff playing his music, but that’s fine and I fell back asleep to it.

About a week ago Tina put fake nails on me. She did a great job and they’re still on. They look very natural. I can grow my own nails, but they look so horrible. The ridges are bad.

Rachel gave me a few things she didn’t want. A pillowcase with teddy bears, two shirts, a rug that fits around the toilet and a nightgown. She said she’ll let me know if she has more stuff for me when she sorts through her stuff. Her place is still trashed with stuff piled to the ceiling. She’s got way too much stuff for a studio. She said she wishes she was on the 2nd floor and wants me to help her decorate in two weeks.

Tara and Tonya may want me to clean for them. Tara now has a job and she starts school soon. So, she’s not sure about dancing now.

Tammy told me she found a letter she typed up a while back that fell behind the counter and never got mailed to me. I hope she mails it to the right apartment number. I also hope everyone writes more often. Lisa hasn’t written to me in quite a while. Since before she went to Florida. I’ve sent out tons of letters to Cousin Boo, Tammy, Lisa, Becky, mom and dad, Nervous, Fran, Bob and Kim. I hope Fran writes, but he told me he got the tape I made for him. I called him from Andy’s after trying to call collect from my phone. A guy at the phone company said I’d be able to call collect, but that’s bullshit. Fran, as usual, owes quite a bit on his phone. He’ll call when he can, he told me. He tells me he no longer has 3-way or call-waiting.

Kim should’ve received her 5 tapes by now.

In a few months, I’ll leave a red bra I don’t want that ma sent me on Mark’s door. I’ll also have Andy write a note saying “she’s” seen him at the pool and let’s get together at whatever time. I’ll have him write that he should go to the mailboxes and I’ll be there laughing. I’ll also send a letter one of these days. To Barbara, too. Kacey, Brenda, Jimmy and Russ S all recently got one.

I need a cigarette break now.

Later...

I’m so glad Andy and I went over to Ellie’s that night. Not only to make my skirt with shells, sequins and colored glue, but to get her phone number. That was the biggest mistake of her life cuz she’s another Nervous. We won’t over-harass her so she doesn’t change her number.

I just went and put a cloth hair elastic on my thumb as my index fingernail was jamming into it.

I got no calls about buying my answering machine. I also haven’t seen that really pretty girl Melissa.

I saw Gloria last Thursday night on The Tonight Show. I wish she didn’t cut her hair. She certainly looks older than she did in 1987. She looked somewhat tired and I noticed her face was full, round and puffy. Did she gain weight? As for her singing, some of her notes sounded good and some were strained.

Am I ever gonna see the rest of my Gloria picture collection?

Tara’s birthday is on November 12th and I want to do something nice for her. Maybe I’ll draw her a picture.

I found the photo of Tammy, Bill and the girls on their swings along with the drawing of it I had begun. Dad shoved it in with my sheet music. I gotta get on with that and send it to Tammy. I’ve been promising them this for a while.

My phonebooks oughta be arriving soon. Good. Then I won’t have to call 1411 and pay 60 cents.

I may get a package from mom and dad next week.

I must have Andy finish my roll of film now that I’m moved and all set up and his sister and nephew couldn’t make it.

I’ll write about April after I smoke the second half of my ciggie.

Later...

I’ve been writing for almost an hour now.

Andy and I went to check out several bars a week ago. At first, we were bored as all hell, but then it got interesting. I met a girl (April) and yes she does have a butch haircut and her clothes were a little butchy too, but nice. We exchanged numbers cuz I figure that I’ll have to settle sooner or later and she’s not wicked dyky or ugly or a man. I told her my phone would be on on the 9th, but I keep putting off calling her. I just can’t get into it anymore, but maybe I’ll call and just be friendly eventually.

I’d so much rather have first best or live on fantasy. Fantasy’s so much easier. It’s all I can really deal with now, so I can be myself. I’m too independent and secure with myself. I need my space. I need to be able to click it out of my mind when I am not in the mood to fantasize. I can’t do that in a real relationship. I hate sharing a bed, of course, and I only have a twin-size bed anyway. I don’t have to answer to or explain to anyone. I understand myself and that’s what counts. In fantasy I can, say, do or ask what I want the way I want to.

I also met a few others at another bar. Two were good-looking, but they were all nice. The good-looking ones were Holly and Melanie. Their lovers were there. Holly’s lover Janet was nice and I gave both of them my number. There was this girl Tammy who was nice, but an ugly butch. I could tell that Holly and Melanie may be interested. I’m surer about Holly, but we’ll see if she calls or not.

I had to bullshit April. When I asked her if she did flings or relationships, she told me it’s got to be a solid relationship. I naturally had to lie and say I’m into that, too.