I’m so frustrated and pissed right now at God. Is asking for the right to breathe really too much to ask for? Obviously, he thinks so. I’m sick of the constant tight spells and being so short of breath. And when I’m not tight, I’m congested. Why doesn’t he just smother me to death then?! I’m gonna finally break down and have Tom make an appointment for me, but I know it’ll end up being a waste of time and money. If I can find a doctor who’s where they say they are and who’s dependable, that I can rely on to return my phone calls, what can they do for me? Give me medication that won’t help? Or that’ll drive me crazy like that Aerobid did? I want back on the Theo. It seemed to help better than anything else.

I don’t have any say in my reproductive system, I don’t have any say in my breathing, I don’t have any say in my life!

Same goes for my weight, which I’ve finally decided to give up on. I’ll never lose weight or inches, so I’m just gonna move right on to the maintenance status and make sure I never get any bigger than I am now and that my weight never exceeds 125 pounds.

The flowers in front don’t look like they’re doing too well, but the flowers in back might make it. They’re just starting to come up, but nothing much is coming up in front.

I was thrilled to learn from Tom that Vermont’s going to be one of the first states to allow gays to marry. It’s about fucking time! No one should have the right to forbid anyone from marrying anyone. If a person wants to marry their goldfish, for God’s sake, they should be allowed to no matter how off the wall someone else may think it is. They’re not going to call them marriages, though. They’re going to be called civil unions, but they’ll have the same laws marriages do. A couple won’t be able to drop one civil union for another without legally divorcing from the first one just like straights. As Tom said, I wonder how many gays will move to Vermont so they can get married and how many will wait till it becomes legal in their state. I’m not surprised the first state to allow it is in the northeast, but I really thought New York would be the first state. I’ll bet Texas and Arizona will be the last to allow it. These are very conservative, prejudiced states. They didn’t even start acknowledging Martin Luther King Day till the year I came out here in 1992. It’s too bad they’re not a little more prejudiced with the hand-me-outs, though.

Tom and I used the glue gun earlier to glue seams on the plastic bottles the mice use where water was leaking, cuz I may really need these bottles, cuz I got five new mice yesterday! There are two different breeds of fancy mice. There are the shorter-haired ones that have satin-like, shiny fur, then there are the longer-haired ones with fur that’s kind of dull. I prefer short-haired silky mice. I got an all-white one and she’s gorgeous! I got a longer-haired one too, which reminds me a lot of Katie. Like Katie, she’s mostly white but has gray patches instead of brown ones. I got another black and white one and two brown ones that are identical and impossible to tell apart. The brown ones are babies and the others are adults. I listed the brown ones on my pet chart as Brownie and Gizzy, the black and white one is Cow, the Katie-like one is Toughie because of how she was the only one to defend herself against Butter Rum, and White Satin is my white silky mouse. They’re all females, and the lady there said a couple of them looked like they might be pregnant, but I don’t see it. This will be a good test, though. They were definitely in with males and at least some of them should be pregnant, but if they’re not, regardless of whether or not something’s wrong with Freddie or if Butter Rum and Oreo are too old, that’ll enforce my suspicions about the store doing something to sterilize their mice.

They had some all-black ones and I wanted one, but they were all males. We decided to get all females so Freddie and the males wouldn’t fight, but it turned out to be a waste of time, cuz Butter Rum was the one to instigate fights with the newcomers. I was surprised. I thought Oreo might do a little minor bullying at first like she did with Freddie, but Butter Rum was really out for blood on all the mice except for the babies. She bit their tails and just wouldn’t stop picking on them. I never heard of female mice being so territorial and vicious. I separated the bitch and her evil friend Oreo from the rest. If we do end up with babies, I’ll have three groups. Freddie and the male babies, the female babies and the new female adults, and then Oreo and Butter Rum. I may be able to stick some baby females in with Oreo and Butter Rum, though.

This store really has an awesome color variety. The other stores that had fancy mice only had all browns or browns with white markings.

Tom said, true to my vibes, that we’re looking good for getting a new printer in June. In fact, I’m gonna go make up new picture pages for the people back east and see if they “disappear” between now and then.