LOL, Kathy tried to view my blog, but couldn’t quite make it. I was wondering if she’d try again. Well, she apparently tried to link through to MO, unable to get to my Blogger link, since making that blog for friends only. She must’ve been too stupid to think to check her history (if she saves it) or have a friend see if they could get it from my FB page since she’s got me blocked. She definitely suspects Aly or myself as being behind the nasty Ask messages, but I don’t care. I’m 100% done with her now. Too risky playing with one who’s both Mexican and pregnant. Texas is too much like Arizona. If she wants to focus more on me than the kid she’s supposedly having, that’s her problem, but I’m done.

My Citrus Heights viewer is definitely, definitely me. It may not update as fast as it should, but it’s definitely me. So that solves that mystery.

Ok, even though Tom and I both hate beer, we’re entered to win a trip to next year’s Oktoberfest in Munich so we can meet Nane.

I was so fucking pissed last night. I was all excited about tackling French 101 only to find that LiveMocha has TOTALLY changed. It’s nothing like it used to be. I hate their new language-learning software. It’s glitchy and a poor way to learn, IMO. Why oh why can’t things ever stay the same?! Underwear, wallpaper and piss-poor attitudes are for changing, not sites that people liked just the way they were. Change, change, change… I fucking hate it! sighs All good things really do come to an end.

Then I discovered Duolingo and started their basic French course until I’m asked to pay to advance further or that site goes to hell too.

Was reading an article about whether or not they think some people have an easier time learning languages than others and why. It not only stated the obvious – that we tend to do better in what we like, but that the area of the brain responsible for languages is enlarged in people like me. Let me guess… the part that processes numbers is so damn microscopic in my case that not even the most powerful microscope can detect it, right?

Wish I knew why I’ve been having the runs more and more often. Makes me wonder if my weight’s down due to that more than to all the activity. I just don’t get it, though. I’m not nervous or worried about anything. Life is great. I have everything I need and most of what I want, so I can’t complain. If anything, I worry more for friends and family who have been having hard times in various ways.

The only negative thing is that tomorrow is the two-year anniversary of when we got our would-be death sentence in the mail. It was just about the worst and scariest day of our lives. September 27th, on the other hand, was the one day and the one day only when a true miracle occurred. The phone rang with news we’d been waiting for for half a year, just days before we’d have had to either kill ourselves or let the streets do it for us. Well, the streets would’ve done it for us in a much slower, more agonizing way. But here I am, two years later in a home of our own. I have emerged stronger and wiser. I now have more paranoia about spending money and more hatred for God. The more He lets life rain down shit upon me than most can ever imagine, let alone deserve, the further away I turn from Him. And just like I’d be proud of myself for turning against a person of a negative influence, I praise myself for filling my heart a little fuller with hate each time He lets disaster strike, while others tell themselves God simply “teaches us lessons” and “strengthens” us and “tests” us. This may be so to a degree, understandably, but enough is enough for some people! And no, whatever doesn’t kill us doesn’t always make us stronger. I’m stronger in many ways, yes, but in some ways, I’m also more fragile, more paranoid and more anxious. Things are going well right now, as I just said, and I haven’t had any nightmares, but how long will last? How long???

Now that I’ve set more realistic goals for one my age, my goal is to be the exact same weight I am now at this time next month. Millions and millions of older folks struggle to lose weight year after year that never comes off and I don’t want to be one of those people. I want to just accept that we’re supposed to be heavy when we age, the weight’s not going anywhere, and to just eat healthy most of the time, keep active and try not to gain more. I only take one day off a week for the no-nos like sweets, potatoes and things like that.