I’m glad Kim only blogs (that I know of) when Camp NaNoWriMo is going on. That way I don’t always have to feel obligated to comment on her journals which are pretty much only about Sara and June.

I don’t get why different people have different definitions for the words envy and jealousy. I was always taught that jealousy is worse than envy. Jodi Arias’s motive is listed as jealousy on Wiki. Also, on Deadly Women, the former FBI profiler speaks of untamed envy that isn’t quelled possibly turning into jealousy and becoming dangerous.

Yeah, that’s what I was taught. If you say you envy someone for something, you’re saying the same thing as “I wish I had that” or “I wish I could do that.”

Jealous people not only want what someone else has, but they also don’t want the person who has it to have it. Instead of feeling happy or glad when someone succeeds, they’re angry and don’t want them to have what they have if they can’t have it, too. Right?

I guess it’s different in different regions just like when you say you want to jump someone in the west vs in the east. In the West, you’re saying you want to have sex with them. In the East, you’re saying you want to kick their ass.

Anyway, I’m envious of those that can make money doing what they want. I totally believe without a doubt that something up there doesn’t want me making money. It wouldn’t have put the CRD curse on me if it did, would it? I can’t sell a single book. Not one single fucking book. Fuck life not being what we plan it! Why shouldn’t I be able to make at least a few hundred lousy bucks a month writing?

So I was going to say “fuck it” and delete my books. Why work at what can never be? Yet they don’t make it easy to unpublish your books. First, you have to unlist them, some of which can’t be unlisted because they’re included in certain membership benefits, and then you have to contact them. So Amazon and Kobo are opposites. Amazon makes it tough to publish stuff, but easy to take your shit off their shelves. It’s just the opposite with Kobo.

I guess I’ll continue the editing and publishing because it’s what I like to do anyway and just not expect any money to be made but another way of backing stuff up instead in what’s a unique and fancy way. I’m not going to schedule any books for pre-order either.

I’m both pleased and surprised that I haven’t heard the mama’s boy since last weekend. I was totally expecting the bastard to return this weekend. Something really bad had to have happened. Something like totaling his car, getting arrested, or getting seriously ill or injured.

The dark spots on my nails have faded but they’re still pretty noticeable. While I know it’s nothing serious, I’m curious as to what it may be, so I’m going to ask Amy her opinion. It’s got to be either a stain or a fungus. There really isn’t anything else it could be. They’re definitely not infected.

We went to Walmart this morning and shopped to the usual blasting music that always annoys the fuck out of me.

I’m thrilled that the more I have avocados, the more it looks like, in spite of my Hashimoto’s, age and shitty genetics, I shouldn’t have to worry about ever hitting the 160s. I can just stay in the low 150s indefinitely - yes! Totally awesome, and hey, I like avocados.

They sure aren’t kidding when they say that processed foods can make you gain weight because for variety I got a small pizza and it’s already jacked me up a couple of pounds. No problem. I’ll simply avocado them back off. :-)

Not going to cut meat out for another week since I won’t be going to the lab until the week of the 6th. so I’ve got some tilapia, party wings, and a few beef patties for variety. Tom can have some of the beef. The only processed items I have are the creamer I put in the single cup of coffee I have each day and my kiddy Go-Gurts.

Yesterday I started to feel kind of wound up but nothing significant came of it. Therefore I’m going to go on with my full pills twice a week for the rest of the month.

On Tuesday I’ll probably pick up some Merlot at Rite Aid to help me sleep before my Wednesday appointment with Amy.

Ugh, the planes are back to bordering on annoying today. They’re not as loud as they used to be, but come September I wouldn’t be surprised if they were back to driving me crazy, especially in the early mornings and at night.