Beneath the Smile got another download. Royalties are now at $26.

Really getting worried about my weight. Where I was waking up at 154 to 155, now it’s 156 to 157. I’ve gained 10 pounds in just the nearly 6.5 years we’ve been in this house. What am I going to end up at by the end of my life? Close to 200 lbs? Tom says we don’t gain all our lives and we reach a point where we stop gaining and come to think of it, I have heard that around 65 is when our metabolism stops slowing. But that’s still 11 years away! I’ve gained 17-19 pounds since coming to this damn state. Pretty sure I was 138-140 upon arrival.

When I went to do a HASfit vid which is by another couple similar to those that do Fitness Blender, it wasn’t on the main page. This couple also puts a timer and a calorie burner on the corner of their screen and doesn’t play any unwanted music. The calorie burner is pretty useless to me because in my case, if they say you’ve burned 75-100 calories, it’s probably closer to 50 for me.

So first I started doing another recommendation for seniors by Tona and while this was simple enough for me, Tom may find it too fast and the moves a bit too intricate. I didn’t do the whole video, but it was very aerobics-like.

Then I hunted down HASfit, did a 10-minute ab workout and OMG! I’ve really fallen out of shape big time! I could tell that most of the problem in this particular case wasn’t just my bigness but because I’m so damn heavy. Just kneeling on my knees has become hard because of the extra weight and makes them hurt. I could still do some of it but it’s one of the last videos I would recommend Tom do. I’m never going to lose 30-50 lbs, so all I can do is whatever I’m capable of. Sometimes I have to improvise. It’s like someone who gets in an accident that leaves them partially disabled. You do what you can do and that’s pretty much it.

Between the treadmill and the vid, I did about 36 minutes of exercise after working on my story. Now hopefully the commercials, helicopters and small planes can shut the fuck up and leave me with just the freeway to listen to so I can give the sound machine a rest and do this blog.

Tammy was on FB early yesterday morning my time but hasn’t posted anything or sent any messages. Guess she’s got her phone or is back home. My guess is the latter. Or maybe she never was in the hospital but was just very busy or not feeling well enough to socialize. That’s okay. The less I hear from her, the less likely I am to hear about her bitches. Part of me wishes I could have Tom tell her I died but of course she would expect to see the obit. I feel a bit guilty and selfish for having a part of me wish she would die so things could be less complicated for me and I could give her bitches one final piece of mind, but I just can’t help the way I feel. I doubt she’ll be dying anytime soon, though. I don’t know that she’ll make it to 80, but I would be surprised if she died in the next few years.

If the weather people know what they’re talking about then we could be in for some rain at the end of the month. SoCal got its first rain. Good. Maybe it will keep the skies quieter at night. I swear what’s going on over my head has become more annoying than what’s going on on the ground, especially when I’m up during the night. From just after midnight to 12:20, I heard 4 commercials. This is just insane.

The 29th is going to be an exciting day for me. Yeah, we placed an Amazon order yesterday morning. Getting an electric potato/fruit peeler, a non-electric one, and a potato masher. Figured the masher would make my mashed potatoes a bit lumpy as we like them as opposed to using the electric mixer which makes a hell of a mess. No matter how careful I am with that thing, it still splatters.

What’s most exciting is that he found a great deal on a bunch of Windows computers that were just listed. It’s an HP refurbished all-in-one business computer which means it will have the full version of Windows 10, unlike the home version that limits some features. The only negative is that it’s 6 years old. But they say it’s in great condition and takes only eight seconds to boot. It has all the hardware features I’ve been looking for and includes a touchscreen. So far, he hadn’t been able to find a touch screen under $700 which he was hoping would be on sale for $500. So, to save a couple of hundred dollars is great. The 23-inch screen will be ideal for my shitty vision.

The only thing I’m not looking forward to is having to learn a whole new way of doing things. When I switched to Mac, I had to get in the habit of clicking the X to close things on the left side. With Windows, it’s on the right. Or at least it was the last time I used it. So things will be rearranged differently and I may not have features I’m used to while I may have new features that I like that I don’t have now. I’ll have to reformat things to my tastes as well and set up hotkeys. What will make it all worth it is having a faster computer to work on, and being able to leave my 4-year-old Mac on my treadmill desk so I don’t have to unplug and plug things every time I want to switch rooms.

I awoke from a strange nightmare of being held hostage in the basement of someone’s house. Some guy was with me that was also a hostage.

“Run!” he urged when we heard our captor above step out momentarily.

Without a word, I ran upstairs and began pulling on a pair of pants that I found in a drawer in one of the rooms. I guess I only had my shirt on. Finding them way too big, I dared spend an extra moment pulling on a tighter pair of pants. I was just pulling them up when I heard the front door open and someone enter the house. That was when I quickly slipped out the back door and ran as fast as I could to flag down help. I spotted some older black guy going by in a car that looked familiar to me, but he didn’t see me waving to him. The dream ended before I could get help.