OK, maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist leaving the following in public on PB. Will sister dearest and her crazy brood see it? Hmm…no clue to be honest.

I didn’t actually listen to them, but I read the transcripts from some pretty vicious voice messages I received, and even with the errors in them, I got the gist of what was being said. There were no transcripts or audio for the restricted calls before I blocked those.

LMAO at the thought of recording some threatening voice messages I still have on my phone and sharing them on Facebook and elsewhere. I’ll leave that as a last resort for now as I prefer to act my age and not go on some vindictive rampage simply because someone said something that pissed me off that I didn’t want to hear. I’ve moved on. If they haven’t, that’s on them. It’s OK to be angry. It’s OK to disagree. It’s not OK to stalk, harass and threaten. These narcissistic, vengeful lunatics I never should have allowed back into my life don’t get that, though.

Unless provoked into action, I prefer to be the mature one and just not have anything to do with those I don’t get along with. But what I actually do depends on them. If they give me peace, they’ll get peace in return.

Kinda funny that they think I’m dumb enough to be convinced that IF they went to the cops, the cops would wait to see if I contact them as they demanded. If I’d broken any laws, they’d tell them to stay out of it, let them take over, and they’d have contacted me by now if they thought they had a case against me. And all because of the record they think I have that I, in fact, don’t what with the prank phone calls from a million years ago in MA being expunged and me being vindicated 20 years ago in AZ.

Furthermore, statements are rarely given over the phone. Occasionally, video statements will be made but that’s usually reserved for minors involved in sex cases. If they thought I would fall for that one, then that shows they’re even dumber than I gave them credit for.

And why the obsession with reaching my husband? Did they think we don’t keep each other informed on what’s going on? Did they think he would believe their lies and side with them?

Funny how they say I didn’t have the balls to call back when the reason I didn’t was that there was nothing more to say. I’d gotten some things off my chest, shared my feelings, said I didn’t want to go back and forth, that this would be it, and I kept my word. What would have been the point in arguing until we were blue in the face when we could never see eye-to-eye? Don’t we all have better things to do?

Yeah, time for them to grow up, wake up, and smarten up, I would think. I’m smarter than any of them will ever be, and when I don’t know something off the top of my head, well, Google’s a wonderful thing. But hey, these are people who can barely even write. Their spelling, grammar and improper use of punctuation are ferocious.

Holding onto so much hate and anger only reflects badly on them and is detrimental to their health and psyche, but again, it’s on them. I knew these people were aggressive, had tempers, and were overly sensitive, emotional and vindictive. Hell, one even tried to enlist us to spite their own kid by finding their workplace to report them for what they believed was an abuse of Worker’s Comp. But I didn’t know they were literally crazy till recently. The sudden and surprise reference to porn told me that. Did they pull that out of thin air in the heat of the moment because they were pissed? Or did they get this idea from someone else?

This should have been a real eye-opener for me as well as what was done to me. How I didn’t see things clearly a long time ago is beyond me. Maybe I just didn’t want to. They have no resources, they have no money, they have no health, and sadly, they have no life.

They lose. I win. None of them will ever contact me again (and if they do any and all contact will be logged as evidence along with the fact that I had to change my number due to the harassment and threats) because they’re not welcomed in my life now or in the future and they will never be mentioned here again. I won’t wish them good luck. I won’t wish them bad luck. Why? Because I’ve become as indifferent to them as I am to some stranger in the next town I don’t even know. I don’t even feel the shame and embarrassment I have felt for them. I’ve gone numb. And now they shall all be filed nice and neatly in the past chapters of my life, stored as nothing but an unpleasant memory and never allowed to re-enter my life ever again.

Tata!

It’s the middle of the afternoon yet it looks like dawn or twilight. It’s been very cold, cloudy and wet these last few days. I’m so tired today even though my tracker says I slept well and for my usual 8 hours.

However, it wasn’t without a nightmare. The nightmare didn’t cause me to be worried about anything going wrong in my life because of the nature of it. I was in a darkened house with some woman when I heard these strange sounds and was terrified. I called out to the woman, but she didn’t answer and I feared the worst. I jumped up and ran to her bedroom and found her lying on her back as still and silent as a log. I screamed her name, whatever that was, and slapped at her, but I knew she was dead.

Like I said, the two most important things are this… I did nothing wrong and I refuse to be anyone’s victim ever again. You can hate me all you want, and you can be pissed as hell and disagree with everything I ever said, thought or believed. But you cannot and will not victimize me.

Tammy knows exactly how I feel about the police and how I’ve come to have little trust and faith in them not just because of what happened to me but because of so many other cases I’ve heard about involving corruption and brutality. She used legal threats as a weapon against me simply because she was pissed off by my group message. The goal was to scare me into calling so she could let me have it or at least cry on his shoulder. Regardless, my message was perfectly legal and I had every right to send it. If we couldn’t say anything anyone perceived as negative, then leaving bad reviews on Yelp would be illegal.

What I don’t get is her obsession to reach Tom. Everyone wants to get a hold of Tom when they get pissed at his wife, LOL. The psycho that sold us the previous round of rats was determined to reach out to him as well. I think it’s just because he’s so easygoing and soft-spoken that he comes across as easy to persuade into siding with them.

When Tom made the mistake of calling Tammy 20 years ago when she sent him a letter threatening legal action against me for threatening her abusive ex, he probably didn’t say much knowing him, thus giving her the wrong idea. All he told me was that he told her we shouldn’t have anything to do with each other. I’m sure he said that, but he probably came off as if he was on her side as opposed to defending me because that’s just the way he is.

Even though she gave me “permission” to be on the line when they spoke (by yesterday as she promised), she probably believes he doesn’t know what’s going on and that when she fills him in, he’ll automatically believe her bullshit version and somehow be turned against me.

Yeah, that’s going to happen really easily after being together for more than a quarter of a century.

But what about her husband? Does he know what’s going on? Does he encourage or at least support her trolling and threatening me if he does? Or does he try to encourage her to move on?

When I was on the treadmill, I forgot to let my left arm dangle while I worked the mouse with my right hand and that may have caused it not to count all my steps. I put it on my ankle during my last walk and it counted them that time. Definitely not going to get 10,000 steps in today any more than I did yesterday. I just don’t have the energy. I’ll walk on my treadmill for a half-hour, but I’m definitely going to skip doing a workout video because the backs of my thighs are sore from yesterday’s video. I’ll just work my core a bit to keep the backaches away.

I’m both cold and tired today. A combination of the weather and low thyroid, I suppose. I’ll take full doses every day just as soon as something up there will let me. Until it gets sick of getting off on the anxiety games and actually wanting me to be low on thyroid, this is the way it has to be. If there’s nothing up there that’s got a hand in this, then I guess all I can do is hope I one day happen to be able to take full doses every day without anxiety. I think it’s unlikely I ever will, though. Tom thinks I will, but I think that if there’s truly something in the medication making me feel anxious, as there certainly seems to be, why would I ever get used to it if I haven’t yet? Not all side effects go away. So whatever is in it that makes me anxious is likely to always do so when the levels get high enough in my system.

Book sales are down. It’s almost as if the drama queen’s review still remains visible to everyone but me. I really hope last month wasn’t just a fluke and that I’m back to sales and borrows real soon.

Been watching The First 48 Hours Presents: Homicide Squad Atlanta and what a scummy city. One thug was dumb enough to commit murder where there were cameras everywhere. He slammed some girl against the wall and started punching her and then you could see her fight back. I don’t know if the guy underestimated her or what but when he realized he was going to lose the fight, he whipped out a gun and shot her dead in cold blood.

I was going to post this a few hours ago but got sidetracked. When he got in, we ran out to Rite Aid. I hadn’t been having much fruit lately and was craving OJ. I have the chills and felt run down in a way that one with a cold does, but I don’t feel like I have a cold. I have a pretty kick-ass immune system and rarely get sick. I think I was just feeling that way due to not eating very healthily over our mini-vacation.

I’m on my third serving of OJ right now. I wouldn’t let myself get any sweets because I don’t want to be sugar crashing, but I got some gum and chips. Baked lentil chips with less sodium are actually pretty good.