Due to the mounting stress and excitement, I’ve been sleeping horribly. I kept waking up a million times last time and sometimes I wasn’t sure I would be able to get back to sleep. Still have night sweats, too.

But 10 more days. Just 10 more days as long as everything goes well! We hope to learn a lot more tomorrow and have things just about completely finalized.

I just hope to hell I’m not exhausted, anxious, or feeling like shit with a racing heart or overheated with hot flashes during the actual move! It’s going to be a very long day. I’ll be getting up around 5 in the morning and a little after 10 our flight leaves. We’ll be shooting up to Seattle on a small plane before an hour layover and then flying to Florida where we should arrive after 10 p.m. ET. We’re going to fly Delta this time.

I felt fine yesterday but today I’m having mild anxiety. My supplements and nuts aren’t helping. God, I hope I’m not ramping up to another bad anxiety spell! I still hope it’s hormones but worry it’s the medication. I so totally don’t want this shit following me but I know it will. I just can’t imagine it ever going away after all this time. Then again, maybe Gennev and the other stuff are helping since I haven’t had nearly as many anxious days this month as last month. At least not so far.

Anyway, our biggest fear right now are delays that could possibly throw things off and cost us a lot more money. But it says in the contract that it’s all contingent upon her house selling. The thing that pisses me off is knowing that if they cause a problem on their end whether it’s something they could help or not, it will be at our expense and there won’t be a damn thing we can do about it.

This will be his first time in Washington as well as mine. We came pretty damn close when we took the train from Oregon on the way to the airport in Portland back in 2006. So one more state to add to my list. It reminded him of his oldest brother Raymond who died about 15 years ago. He was stationed there for a while and that’s where he met his wife Noralee. He was curious as to whether or not she was still alive, so I looked her up and from what I can tell, she is. She’s living in an apartment in Phoenix and is 80 years old.

Finally found a picture of Bob and Virginia’s grave even though there were never obituaries. They’re “stackables” and just an 8-minute drive away. Where the people in the Calvary Cemetery are just a few hundred feet away, Bob and Virginia are a few thousand feet away at the Sierra Hills Cemetery.

Tom believes they’re together in the afterlife and I still don’t know what to believe. Do they wish they could come alive, claw through the dirt and walk back home to resume living? Or are they in some other place whether that may be better or worse? Or are they simply just dead? I can’t help but wonder about these things.

Virginia once told me that Bob was telling someone that they’re living too long since many people are living longer these days. I wondered if that was a complaint or just him joking around. I’m guessing it was probably both. I got the feeling they got bored doing the same routine every day for so many years. Even I get bored in my 50s. No matter how much you may enjoy the things you do, doing them every day year after year, does have a way of getting old. I prefer to live another 20 years but this is part of why it wouldn’t hit me as hard if I was told I was going to die now as opposed to 20 years ago.

I might have stopped gaining weight but damn does it make things so much harder. It’s harder to run or do anything physical, especially anything jarring like jumping. It’s even harder to bend over to cut my toenails. But sadly, all I can do is what I’ve been doing and that’s to accept it and live with it until and if there’s ever a safe and effective breakthrough. I have zero control over my weight.

I hope the pigs are settled and happy in their new homes. Every time I take hold of a plastic bag, fry food, or run water I still expect the screaming to start.

Andy told me one of the negative things about living where he’s lived for the last 14 years is the horrible odors he has to deal with from his Asian neighbors’ cooking and especially another neighbor’s charcoal grill because it triggers his asthma. He said when he asked the woman if she would be willing to switch to a gas grill, she got so offended that she didn’t talk to him for three years. That is so, so typical too. This, along with the Phoenix freeloaders putting a complex on me after the hell they put me through, is why I won’t complain unless I really have no choice. It’s never done me any good. Well, rarely. There were a few who cared enough to consider me but for the most part, people just don’t give a shit. They either do nothing to change their ways or they spite you for complaining just like the welfare bums, Andrea at the Vista Ventana, and the office here.

Here we go with the obnoxious buzzing of either a small plane or a helicopter. 10 more days left of this shit! God, I hope so anyway. Really, really hope this doesn’t follow me. I don’t expect to hear much in the way of commercial planes there but I sure hope there aren’t many small planes or helicopters either that I can’t even go one single hour without hearing. I just want my nights back! Every other place was usually quiet at night but not here. If it isn’t the freeway, it’s something in the sky. Plus the loud paper delivery car. I hate having three sides of our place flanked by streets!

I can’t wait to give this park a piece of my mind when we’re gone but the termites are going to wait. Even if the termite doesn’t make up some bullshit story that the pigs fall for and no one comes to the door, mail could still be forwarded and I don’t want that. I’ve waited this long so I can wait another year, and besides. That’s better than the 2.5 years I’d have to wait if it wasn’t for COVID and the layoff.

We’re in for another heatwave in a few days with triple-digit temps. I really hope the AC doesn’t give us any shit!

Just put some scented oil in my diffuser. They’re a hell of a lot easier to clean than wax warmers but the only thing I don’t like is that since oil floats on top of water, the smell dissipates long before it empties out and turns off.