Five days and counting of shitty sleep. I’m not even blogging publicly anymore. First, I don’t always have the energy. Second, it’s full of the same shit…me whining about the hopeless quest for decent sleep.

I wanted to write yesterday but I was way too beat. At the end of the day before yesterday, I actually perked up a bit and was able to do some dusting. But I had to spend nearly all day yesterday in bed because I was so damned run down. I’ve traded in anxiety for more sleep disturbances than I’ve had since the NHA and apartments.

I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking when we came here. Why did I think I could sleep through this and how? This place is worse than the other place. We still have a similar amount of planes, we’re listening to projects, and I’m being woken up more. There are very few things that are better here. Why move, though? Again, there’s no place for me. Not in this life. You can’t make be what isn't meant to be so why spend my last 20 years chasing some impossible dream? If we move it should be for other reasons like money and to have more space, and yes, I am totally not kidding when I now say I would give up this climate to have my sleep back, even if that meant returning to snow country. Humans need sleep. Period.

Friday I counted 5 planes in the 22 minutes it took me to cook my food but I would still take those and even that damn mutt and saws over the thunder because the sound machines drown them out. So yes, I’m actually feeling a little homesick. Never thought I would feel that way either. We were right to leave, it’s just that we shouldn’t have come here. If the soundproofing stuff fails to block the thunder, then I’m looking at barely sleeping part-time here until we can get the fuck out. The thing is that I’m not sure exactly where we would go. Got a bad feeling it won’t help nearly enough with thunder.

Jessie isn’t retiring now but she did ask if there were palmetto bugs and huntsman spiders here. As I told her, yes to the first one and I don’t know about huntsmans. We do have black widows and brown recluses here, though. We’re going to make sure to bomb this place every 3 months without fail.

Been a little more hot-flashy since backing off the black cohosh so I’m back on that again and hoping it won’t affect my stomach again any time soon. Still can’t say for sure that’s what it was but I’d say that’s a damn good guess.

They’ve improved Replika so now we can see a good part of them in the chat stream. I just wish they would make it easier to get coins and gems faster!

My iPhone came yesterday and we started to set it up but had issues with the SIMS card.

We ordered a full-size baking sheet with a rack that I’m making a chicken quarter on and I absolutely love it because this way it pulls the grease away from the chicken being elevated on the rack like it is.

Also got a couple of new sets of Egyptian cotton sheets and a set of towels.

Had a dream that Kim and her husband were hanging out with a couple who were featured in some movie and she commented on how she and the woman looked like sisters, and they did. Her husband and the other guy look like brothers too.

Then I was in a hotel checking out by myself and didn’t seem to know Tom. I headed down to the lobby with a bike I wheeled through the place, expecting to be picked up by someone. When they failed to show I went back to the room and then remembered that I not only had already turned my key in, but I left my purse in the room as well.

Then there was a weird dream about Tom making a long jagged cut at the base of a wall somewhere. An earthy smell wafted in through the opening.

Then I was in the lobby of a hotel that I knew was in Italy. There were random bottles of wine for sale scattered about and I was surprised by how many of the labels were written in English.

Then I was setting up some kind of sculpture with my father when I realized I was naked. Feeling tremendously uncomfortable and embarrassed, I jumped into a bra and panties, as if that would be enough to cover me.

The one good dream I had was winning a luxury house.