Today was an absolutely shitty day. While I’m still enjoying many aspects of being here, a part of me worries we’ve gone from bad to worse. I’m so exhausted! I’ve only gotten good sleep two out of the eight nights we’ve been here, and for the millionth time, I’m asking myself why? Why, why, why??? Why does something up there not want me to sleep? What does it possibly have against me sleeping most of the time instead of the other way around?

It’s weird because when it’s not storming and they’re not picking up trash or landscaping or making mysterious thumping sounds, it’s way quieter than the other place. Don’t know how it will be in the winter but except for the planes, it’s pretty damn close to dead quiet.

So I crashed at around 11 p.m. and then at 5:30 a thunderstorm woke me up. Managed to doze on and off for a couple of hours during which time I heard that mysterious thump twice. Heard it at 6:41 and then at 7. Yet there doesn’t seem to be anyone next door and I paid close attention to the house across the street. They do not close their vehicle doors loudly. For me to be sleeping this shitty at night really has me concerned about how I’ll be sleeping during the daytime.

Tom might be onto something, though, when we were throwing out guesses as to what could be making the mysterious thump. An animal doesn’t make any sense and I highly doubt anyone’s going into the storeroom, so maybe it’s the bed frame. It’s a metal-slatted frame that may make a creaking sound resembling a thump as it bends are gives even though I didn’t think it could do that. It’s a very strong, solid metal but I suppose it’s possible that where it bends and folds like where the hinges are, it might make that sound but why haven’t I ever heard it while I was awake just relaxing on the bed or listening to audiobooks? It’s like something is hell-bent on cursing my sleep like never before! It only wakes me up when sleeping on my good ear, so I don’t know what to think.

We’ve ruled out the refrigerator, hot water tank, and AC, and come to think of it, I don’t remember any thumping disturbing my sleep the first night when I slept with a mattress on the floor.

There was no landscaping today and I’m wondering if it’s because it was so stormy or because they really do it every other week. Tom also pointed out that the lack of ambient sounds here makes more things noticeable. Well, I definitely miss having the air cleaner on the bookcase shelf making that vibrating humming sound which may help with the thumping, whatever the fuck it is. I don’t know if it’ll do me any good but instead of sleeping to the sounds of a box fan and rain, I’m going to try thunderstorms and a heartbeat.

We plan to get soundproofing windows installed when my schedule flips but if storms and thumps keep waking me up along with other things, my schedule may never flip. Right now I’m nearing the end of my day worrying about thunder, thumps, recyclers, and landscapers fucking with my sleep next time around. It’s the same old fucking stress that I thought I left behind! Why is it that whenever I run from something negative or that I don’t like it follows me tenfold? I truly can run but never hide!

Anyway, I dozed off until 7 a.m. and was still exhausted. I just can’t handle broken-up sleep anymore. If I keep sleeping in chunks like this, it’s going to really take a toll on my health. As it is, it’s taking a serious toll on my energy levels and my mood. The treadmill is coming tomorrow and I wonder if I’m going to have the energy to even use the damn thing.

I wonder if we should have just gotten land in Texas somewhere since land is expensive here. It would have taken longer, yes, but it would have been cheaper in the end.

So we went to the bank and a guy helped me access our joint bank account. After that, I came back and napped for two more hours yet I’m still dragging. I thought naps were supposed to refresh a person, not make them feel groggy.

Despite feeling run down, we were able to install the black-out drapes. They definitely block light but if they reduce sound, I’d say it’s not by much. Tom did say that without them, he walked by the bedroom window while I was listening to audiobooks and could make out every word clearly. Now, he says it’s muffled.

We also set up smart plugs so the two bedroom lamps and the two living room lamps can be turned on either individually or both at once as a group.