I wish Bob was a local call, let alone Fran and Andy. Andy works all night and Fran sleeps all night.

I wonder what in God’s name ever happened to Steve? Where did he move to?

I desperately wish I could sleep cuz I have a few things to do tomorrow. I hope it’s not bitter cold either. I must go to Genovese for more earplugs unless Barbara gets some. Also, I need to get cat food and cigarettes. And call Dr. Kamireddy who I saw who gave me a prescription for Habitrol and see if Prostep is ok.

Tammy said you can’t have any caffeine on this patch, or else you will puke. Great. I really need to quit, though, so it’s worth it. I’m just worried about my weight. Especially with summer on its way. Aren’t I always worrying about that anyway? I heard, however, that you can starve and exercise till there’s no tomorrow and you’ll still gain weight.

I am gonna have some toast and try to sleep. If I can’t, I’ll be back.

Later...

I’m back. I spoke to Bob for a few minutes and he and Kim are going out to dinner tomorrow evening. He has certificates for some restaurant and is gonna discuss funeral arrangements for Sandra with Kim. Poor Sandra’s miserable and is at the very end of her rope. Bob says Kim’s working 12-hour shifts but that’s nothing new. She’d leave at 7am and come home between 9pm–11pm, talk on the phone and go to bed. It used to irk me when she’d say, “Yeah, I’ll be home for two hours tomorrow. Come over so we can talk.” But out of those two hours, we were lucky if we spoke for 15 minutes cuz her phone would never stop ringing and she’d remember a billion calls she’d need to make.

Later...

I went to Genovese and bought 6 pairs of earplugs for $2.89. Of course, 6 pairs is really 12 pairs for me. I forgot about checking into the Lactaid tablets. I’m still bloated and it’s really pissing me off. I am still 100 pounds but I look like I’m 110-115 even though everyone disagrees with me. I feel very out of proportion compared to when Andy and I were always at the beach in 1989. They really mean it when they say muscle takes up space as well as fat. I’m definitely not fat, just bloated and muscular. The cause of the bloating’s definitely gas due to dairy foods. Maybe a little water, too. About 4 years ago, you could feel my muscles developing, but not see them. Then, you could see them with a bathing suit on or shorts or a mini skirt. Now, I can practically have a mattress on and people have mentioned it without me saying a word or bringing up the subject. I used to feel that my outer thighs and hips were fine. Now they’re not bigger but defined more so with ridges and ripples. So it’s muscle but too much bigger in a way and throws off the proportioning. My chest is even a little bigger. My bust is a 33, my waist is a 24, my hips are 33, lower gut’s a 29 and thighs are a 20. As you can see, my lower belly and thighs don’t go with the rest of me.

When I came back from the grocery store, I found a note from the NHA. They want to modernize the place and mentioned homeowners’ fair housing laws. Also stuff for redoing kitchens, bathrooms and other stuff in the area like eliminating drugs. Well, they sure are gonna hear my gripe about the layout of this building and I called Tammy who said go for it. When Tammy was here she heard an eighth of the problem but could just imagine the full extent of it when the kids are home. I called the office and the girl there said to fill out the form. They’re moving me somehow somewhere. The outside noise is horrendous too. Wait till the summer! No way. I’m gone before then. I mean, I’m outa here.

I also went to Price Rite as I mentioned before. My courtesy card came in and I got some cat food, TV dinners, coffee and a few other items. Rather than two oil treatments for $3.49, I found another brand for 3, plus another package of similar treatments all for $2.59.

It’s freezing out.