An hour ago I began to feel tired, but as usual, I laid down only to wake up.

I wonder what maintenance will decide to do downstairs tomorrow.

I’m fucked at the end of this month. Andy’s sister Marla is coming in for 4 days, which is fine. The bad catch to it is her 4-year-old son has to come along too, unfortunately. I’m gonna tell Andy he has a right to his own company, but it better not interfere with my peace. His guests are for his ears only.

Kara would let me stay with her, but I can’t. How can I sleep with a baby there, let alone 3 adults?

I also made a rule that anyone who wakes me up is gonna get woken up in return. No matter what schedule they’re on or I’m on. I got a right to my schedule as they do theirs.

Unless I get a package, I hope and pray I sleep OK this week.

Kara’s been over several times a week. Our friendship’s really grown and is a very good one. She’s heard lots of tapes of edits and convos and they really crack her up. She’s so much like me and Andy and I really need that. More so now as Andy’s on a day schedule always and works full-time.

I’ve edited Kara a little and Andy did a very funny favor for her the other day. He called Brian, a guy she slept with a few times, but turned out to be a flaky, undependable drunk. He hit on Brian who went off big time with another male and female friend. Before he did this I left some edits for him. Kara and I didn’t know the girl’s name and with all the names to guess, I said Rachel, which turned out to really be her name.

Kara met Tonya earlier. I called Tonya for some cigarettes when I woke up. I went over to get them and we chatted for a while. Then, I gave her money to pick me up two packs of smokes on her way back from the gym. Tonya also came over here today as I wanted to show her this killer outfit I got at the mall. I also wanted to show her the new chair I got, my plant that Mom and Dad sent and that wicker jug of silk flowers Jeff gave me. I also showed her my pictures that Tammy sent me back and basically my place, which has come a long way since I’ve been here.

I’d still kill for a 1-bedroom. I need the extra space (especially closet space).

I got that black lace skirt I wanted for some time now. It’s got a solid black silk lining inside, then lace on the outside. I like this so I don’t have to wear my black tights under it as I did with my all-lace skirt. I also bought an awesome camisole, which is pink and black.

I got a full-length mirror and a chair that’s not a regular chair from the thrift shop. It’s a round saucer-like thing on a wicker stand. There’s a soft round cushion on it and you can even pull it off to lay on the floor or whatever. It was priced at $40, but I talked the guy down to $20. Andy once again said that if he needs to buy anything expensive, he’s sending me in there.

I also donated all my 45s and albums. I better tape backup copies in case the originals get eaten up.

I’m not sure if I mentioned the glitter glue I got at the grocery store. I thought it was a glitter pen and it said, “glitter pen.”

My parents called a few days ago and I told them how much I loved their cards. We talked about stuff in general, but I did not tell them about my attack. I told Tammy who called a few days after they did. Tammy and everyone else in the family have been very busy. She said they’re putting together a Chanukah package for me. That’s unexpected but nice. She also said she got a kick out of my joke in one of my letters. This is the joke:

Q: What do lesbians on a diet eat?
A: Jenny Craig.

She asked me what Mom and Dad said when I told them I got a phone. I wonder why she asked me that, but I didn’t think to ask her. She liked the picture I sent her.

I wonder if Mom and Dad got the package I sent them with the geeky grandma clothes they sent down to my other apartment They never mentioned it and I forgot to ask. There’s always so much to tell and ask that it’s hard to keep track of everything. I do usually write notes, which I refer to when I write their letters.

Tonya and Tara are going home to Canyon City, Colorado for Christmas and she said she may need me to feed her two birds. It’d be nice if they were gone while Andy’s sister and nephew are here so I could stay there.

I polished my nails blue last night. My parent’s favorite! Kara saw it and she really liked it, so I did hers, too.

I wonder just what’s taking Nervous so long to send me back my pictures? I’ve always been able to trust him around my stuff. With money and anything. There’s only one thing I’m pretty sure he stole and that’s a pair of black bikini underwear. Brenda, I think, also stole two pairs and one of them she’d always say she liked. Luckily that’s all she stole.

Later...

I wish to hell it was summer again. I miss the outdoors, the pool and living on my patio. It feels like I’m back in MA during the night and early morning. They did say it’s “amazingly cool,” so that’s cool. It’s normally not this chilly, but I’m shocked just like Andy was his first winter here. Right after the heat turns off it’s chilly in here. Like my dad said, where he is it’s the warmest in the nation. The good thing about it is that it won’t be long before it warms up again. Winter will be about 4 months, rather than 8-9.

I just hope I can tan somehow and not get sun poisoning. If I always have to wear sunscreen, I’ll be forever cursed with being white. You can’t tan with sunscreen. Another reason why I want summer to hurry up and return is due to the fact that my asthma should be much better. Since mid-Oct. it’s been bad for all asthmatics.

I can’t wait till my family can come see me. Dad said maybe in the summer. I told him he’d have to stay in a hotel. He agreed as they’ll have the dogs. I figured they’d drive out, rather than fly. I wonder how Tammy, Bill and the girls will get out here? I guess they’ll fly. I figure they can’t take the added days to drive. Unless Tammy and Bill want to experience it for themselves and especially the girls. This way, they can all see more states besides Arizona.

Later...

Well, I’m still wide awake, naturally. If I fall asleep around 6:00, believe it or not, I hope something does wake me up at 11:00 or so. I’d just have to stay up and hope I don’t feel shitty. If I can back up my schedule a few hours each day, that’d be nice. I’d kind of like to be waking up early for a while so I can do more during the day. Maintenance or some other source will wake me up. Probably the lawnmowers. It’d be nice to get woken up by UPS at 11:00, but they usually don’t come that early. I’m not expecting any packages so soon, anyway.

Well, it’s going to be 62º today. The days are usually like beautiful spring days.

The day maintenance was here which was the day after my attack, I gave a few donations to the child protective services and food bank. All the maintenance guys, the housekeeper, Judy, Paula and Stacey were out collecting stuff. I felt it fair to do my share for two reasons. One was cuz my childhood was no bowl of cherries, two is cuz that food bank helped me while the food stamp people were busy taking me for a ride at first. I gave some extra drawing markers and some baked beans, which I don’t really like.

Before doing so, I heard movement outside my door and when I went out to check there was a candy cane on my doorknob. Then, I saw Everett and the housekeeper (whose name I don’t know) passing by with a shopping cart. Everett said he thought I was still asleep. I said I wish.

I should go wash my face, which is severely broken out now. I mean major zits.

I’ve done a lot of editing and gave Andy back one of his 100-minute tapes. I have half of one side of the second 100-minute tape to do. I also have his “best of calls” tape I promised long ago I’d edit. Lastly, I have several of my own to finally get edited.

Then I have two posters to color, letters to write and four 40-page stories to write. I’ll be busy with all this for quite a while, but it’s better than not having anything to do. Still, I need more than journal writing and letter writing.

Oh yeah. I just remembered another long put-off and forgotten project. A new Gloria medley, now that I’ve got all her stuff on CDs. I still don’t have her Greatest Hits yet, but I will. I wish I had Linda’s latest and all the songbooks ever put out of Linda and Gloria and all their tour books that were ever made.

I want my fucking pictures back. Why would my mom ditch them? What purpose is there for that? Cuz she thought to have them was childish or something? Well, that should be for me to decide and not her. They were my pictures.