Tara called earlier and said she and Tonya had a birthday card for me. When the phone rang I thought it was Andy and I asked, “Are you eating?” I asked this cuz he always calls and eats on the phone munching in my ear.

Tara was telling me about this funny dream she had and I knew I had to tell Andy about it. He laughed. She told me she dreamt she was getting married to Madonna and was at her house. Madonna was cooking her dinner and she said to Tara, “I want you to meet my parents before we get married.” And Tara just said, “OK, sure, fine.”

She also told me she’s still very very busy with school and work. She told me her boss was gay and somewhat attractive and feminine. She said she doesn’t wear makeup too much but when she does she’s pretty. She has shoulder-length hair. When she finally met her girlfriend she could see just what I meant when I said fems go for butches, butches go for fems and there are plenty of butches with other butches. This girlfriend of hers was pretty damn ugly. She told me she feels the same way I do and doesn’t want a relationship. She just wants occasional sex as she’s got very little free time, needs her space and doesn’t want to go through the bullshit. She’s getting with guys the same thing I’ve gotten from women. The guy says he’ll call and never does, or he’s always there.

I told her I was gonna tell her something I never thought I’d ever be brave enough to say after the Maliheh B case and several others. Well, I told her that if she ever does get curious, she doesn’t have to be shy. I’m here and I’m attracted to her and would never and could never put strings on her. Well, I know she’ll never approach me for sex, but she did say I’d be the first one she’d go to cuz she knows me and she also thinks that butches are ugly.

Later...

I just finished watching a talk show and I just threw in a tape of the edits.

My check comes today. Therefore, I must see if Dennis will take me to the store. I’ve got to get some groceries to hold me over till I get my food stamps. I didn’t get any mail today so I hope tomorrow I get letters from Lisa and Tammy. There are only a few other errands and places I may go to.

Andy’s gonna pick up my prescription and we may go to a swap meet on Sun. I sure as hell hope he doesn’t want to go early cuz there’s no way I’ll be able to get up.

This Saturday afternoon I’ll be picking up my picture at the office.

I still haven’t begun my story and I have not done more editing, but I’m definitely gonna want to write letters to my family. I’m gonna have lots to tell. I’ll also write to Kim, Bob, Nervous and Fran.

I was a little ticked off at Kara earlier. You know how it is with people. I tell them to call me first and they do so for two months, then they knock and wake me up. It turned out OK, though as UPS came not too much later. Kara also came over with Ashley. I can’t stand it when she brings her over. I had us all out on the patio, so she couldn’t trash my place. If Kara holds her down, the damn thing screams. The reason why she brought her was cuz after she visited me, she planned on seeing Brian and Angel. I didn’t know she knew them, and I thought they moved. They were in Idaho for the last 3 months.

Earlier, a little before 7:00, Andy came over to see what I got from Mom and Dad. He also looked at all my journals. The covers, that is. I think number 13 is the ugliest, but he likes it. 6 and 7 are quite boring, too, but I took care of 6. Yes, I fixed it up quite nicely. I took an old barrette with a bow on it. The material and pattern of the bow are pretty. It’s on a velvet black background with stripes of red and blue through it that are sort of glittery. I cut the bow off the barrette. Then, I ironed out the bow flat. I cut the pieces to fit the cover of number 6 which is a small journal, otherwise, I’d never have enough material to cover it. Then, I glued it on. I used a toothpick to spread the glue out on the journal, then just slapped on the material.

Andy’s now trying to sing Desde La Oscuridad. Actually, this is the edited version. Kara heard it and was dying of laughter. I put this on the tape I made for her.

Believe it or not, but luckily for me, I am actually getting sleepy. Sleep is exactly what I hope I can do now. I certainly didn’t get enough hours of sleep last night. Barely 6 hours, so I’ll go try really hard to fall asleep.

Later...

I woke up at 9:00 to take my meds. Also, there was some loud mouth granny and a little girl traipsing by, and I’ll kill them if I ever hear them again that early! Those that get up early have no respect for those who don’t get up early, I swear. I went back to sleep till noon.

Today’s a gorgeous day and there’s a breeze, too. I have my bedroom window and sliding glass door open. My ceiling fan is on, too. It’s nice to be able to air the place out during the day in the winter and at night during the summer. In Springfield I was only able to open the window from late May to early September just to air out the smoke and dust, only to let the pollution in.

Well, my clothes are in the dryer now.

I went over to Andy’s to call for the phone numbers and addresses of Mass General and Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary.

I called the doctor’s office to ask for Kelly, but the office was closed. Why so early, I don’t know.

While I was over at Andy’s, Fran left a message. It figures I would just miss his call. He’ll have to call me back when he wants to.

I got no mail today but my check’s in the bank, so later Dennis and I are going to the store. Shortly after I got up I went to Dennis’s at 12:30. He had some meat and noodles for me that were leftovers they were sick of. It was good.

I told them about the stuff my parents sent and that I have enough paper towels to open a store with. I am going to bring them two rolls cuz Bea uses them like crazy.

Later...

In 10 minutes I’ll be going to get my clothes out of the dryer.

I’m watching this amazing story of an 80-year-old woman who came out of a coma after 30 years.

Later...

I just finished my laundry.

Andy should be slamming in soon and at around 6:30 I’ll be going food shopping with Dennis.

The other day I looked through the paper for what was available in the cat ads. All the ones that were too good to be true were gone. Some were neutered and spayed and even declawed. Had their shots, too. Those kinds of cats are gone the second the ad for them comes out.

Later...

I am now sitting at my kitchen table which is much more comfortable.

I have my lace skirt hanging over one of my chairs. I didn’t want it to shrink. I wore that and my black tights and a tight black camisole with my denim lace jacket I got in Norwich when my pictures were taken. I’m sure curious to see how they came out this Saturday afternoon. I’ll be choosing from about 6 pictures. I hope at least one comes out good since I’m not keeping it and it’s going to Tammy. It’s one thing to keep a so-so or bad picture of yourself. It’s another when you’re gonna give it away to a family member or a friend. Before I mail it to Tammy, I’ll show it to Andy and maybe Tara. When I get the pictures back from Tammy that are going to Kim, I may show them to Tara first.

Tara and Tonya aren’t sure if they’re gonna buy a HUD house or not. They heard they’re usually in pretty bad shape. I can believe that, but I also heard the waiting list for that is years and years. Plus, they’re not a top priority. A family, homeless people, or handicapped people would be considered first. I don’t think the two of them combined are low-income. Maybe average.

Dennis and Bea are the second and third friends I’ve ever had that are not low-income. The first was Kim.

Later...

I’m watching TV now.

Earlier, Dennis, Bea and I went to the grocery store.

My ATM card was canceled cuz it was only a temporary card. Now I must go get a new one.

Fran called and we spoke for about 20 minutes.

I’m doing Andy’s laundry which I’ll get out of the dryer soon.