Today Tom made it all the way inside me!!! It didn’t even hurt, but if it wasn’t for the KY jelly - forget it. I don’t know how people screw without it cuz it definitely would’ve hurt without it. We’ve been having these early-morning romantic get-togethers before he goes to work.

I’m going to try as hard as I can to be a day person for a few reasons. One is cuz he’s on a day schedule, and also so I can get some sun and some color. I’m also going to try to cut down on the smokes.

So, at least the DES didn’t make my tunnel crooked. Dr. Kolnick said the DES could’ve done worse things to me. All the DES did to me was make my cervix red, make me sterile, and knock off an ear (unless that was really caused by Ma’s smoking). Better my ear, though, than an arm or a leg. He said I’m actually roomy in there. I feel so much better and like a real woman. No longer do I feel like a freak. It feels great to know I can screw and that we’ll be married someday, and the statistics don’t scare me. Yes, most guys are jerks, but not this guy!

Later...

Well, now’s as good a time as any to get on with my writing, before I get backed up.

Andy got a new car. A Plymouth Reliant, so he’s happy. We’ll be seeing each other within the next few days.

I sent off two orders of address labels for him. One in the name of Andy and the other in Mark. It all totaled around $12. This will be his birthday present. I also got my other order of silver prism labels. They are so nice. One’s in my next journal. I used all 250 of the last batch. They were yucky.

Believe it or not, Tom set up the sewing machine and got me started. Man, this guy’s smart! His mom used to sew a lot. I hemmed two shirts and I’ll be hemming other stuff soon. I have 12 payments of $10.79 for the sewing machine. I just sent in payment #1. For ordering the sewing machine, they sent other little gifts. A salt & pepper shaker, a key chain, a nail filer, and two magnetic picture frames. I have them on the refrigerator. One’s got a picture of my nieces in it and the other’s got one of Gloria. Lastly, they sent a pin that I put on one of the lampshades in the living room. It was easy, as this shade’s pleated. The little lamp by the couch has a non-pleated white lampshade. I drew flowers on it and it looks really nice.

I saw something today that worries me. Well, it’s been so nice and peaceful and quiet across the street, but will my luck soon run out? I saw two women in a car drop the kid off. He had a bike in their trunk and a knapsack. Has he been there all along? Is it just the van that’s been gone? Who knows, but I have confidence in this fan keeping shit from waking me up. It works a million times better than the radio. I wish I’d had it long ago.

Later I’ll write about new CDs, my dad, and a talk I had with Tammy.