Today I begin phase 3 of the Phase-Out system. I can just imagine the difference it’ll make in how I feel, as it sure as hell made a difference in Phase 2. The great thing is how much better I feel. The not-so-great thing is that I still want to smoke just as much as usual.

I called Dr. Wilcox’s office yesterday and they’re sending me a form to sign and send back to them so they can send me my medical records to give to the new doctor. Yesterday I got my cut-off notice from Access. They have this program, though, for those who are no longer on SSI or SS that need regular medical care such as I do, but I’ll call them to tell them I don’t need it cuz I’m on Cigna. I’m also going to call my new doctor or Cigna pharmacy and ask about water pills. I really need them. Not only does it help with water and bloating, but also it helps alleviate the soreness in my tits that I get before that time.

Gotta call Prodigy to see if I got any mail. I’ll do that when Tom leaves. He’s working on a program right now and then at 1:00 he’s going to work on Eldon’s computer.

I hope we have time to get a little fun in before he leaves, but if we can’t, we can’t.

I began another book of letters in Book #79, but I may or may not keep it going. I probably will and not turn any of it into a personal journal cuz it’s good for when I’m bored.

Later...

Today I’m having one of those days where I feel skinny. I love it right after my period. I’m not retaining any water, I took a dump (a much-needed one) and I exercised. I’m in a good mood too, although I hope we can have sex tomorrow. Today I’ll just take care of myself.

I got a letter from Alex today and something else pretty strange. It was a good luck chain letter mailed from Hartford. Tom said he thinks someone who knows me and knows I got married sent it, but I can’t think of who would do that. I took an envelope and addressed it to Tammy in different handwriting with no address label. She’ll probably throw it out, but if anyone needs better luck, it’s her and her family. There was no return address when I got it and it was handwritten. It looks like a female’s handwriting. What do I think? I think it was randomly mailed off or from one of those moneymaking jobs I sent away for information on. Tom brought up a good point, though. I ordered all that information in my maiden name.

Anyway, Tom said he’ll buy me a lottery ticket and we’ll see.

I talked to my parents who said they tried to call the other day. They got my figurine in one piece too, and loved the concert by Barbara. She also did write the letter but sent it to the wrong address and it was returned today to her. Thank God it didn’t get lost cuz then who knows when she’d write again. She hates to write. She said it said there was no such street number. Thank God there’s no such street number as someone like me or Andy could’ve gotten it and kept it.

Tom said not to worry at all about Kim coming to visit. That he wants me to be happy and he trusts my judgment. That’s cool, cuz neither of us ever wants to fight. We both realize that we both can’t always have our way. We know that’s life, though.

I never thought I’d live to say this, but I believe in “for better or for worse,” and in forever and so does he.

Last night’s storm really did a lot more than knock out the cable. It knocked a tree down on our other next-door neighbor’s lawn across W. Weldon. There is tons of shit in the pool. I’d dive down and get it now, but I just did my hair, so I’ll wait. We also lost more of the green rafters out over the patio.

Later...

I can’t believe I forgot to write about the word search program! Oh, it’s so cool, too. Tom found one of his old programs that it was on. All you do is type in what words you want after you head it with a name and it scrambles it up into a word search puzzle. You can have it be super tiny, to 2/3 of a page. It will tell you if you’ve got too many words or if you’ve typed the same word twice. I did some for Tom, Andy and myself. I also mailed off puzzles to my parents, Tammy, Bill & the girls, Kim, Bob and Alex. To Tammy and everyone, I made 5 puzzles. One is titled Tammy & Bill’s Only, cuz there were lots of swears, the other’s titled, Everyone’s Puzzle, Lisa’s Puzzle, Becky’s Puzzle, & Sarah’s Puzzle.