I went for my CT scan and hearing test yesterday. There were about 3 different things about it that I didn’t remember from Boston. First she had my head cranked way back and she took 30-40 pictures which seemed to take forever.

When I got on the thing you lay on, it was at the height of a bed. Then, when she went to adjust me for picture number two, I realized I was almost up to the ceiling when I sat up. For the second position, my neck was straight and she put some kind of string or tape across my chin to hold my head still.

Then it was off to another floor for my hearing test. My good ear has worsened a little, but the left is hopeful. There is nerve hearing.

I can’t wait till the 13th.

Later...

Yesterday, after my appointments, we went to JB’s for lunch.

When we got home, I helped Tom build a second computer. It was pretty interesting and fun.

Tom and I both spoke to Tammy who’s really in a bad way now. From the sound of it, Bill may only have a matter of months left. She’s worried about how the hell they’re going to survive and I don’t blame her. We all discussed the possibility of her coming out here, but that’s close to impossible. Especially with 3 kids.

Her visit with Mom wasn’t too great. Even Lisa got upset with her for not staying as long as she said she would. She said Lisa got embarrassed by Mom in some restaurant cuz of the way she went off on some waitress. The bottom line is what it’s always been. She hates kids and will only talk to them about 6 times a year and it’ll probably be another 3 years before both mom and dad go to see her again.

It makes me wonder again if I oughta just cut all contact with them if I ever get pregnant. No kid of mine is going to put up with them if I can help it. Yes, they’ve been wonderful over the phone now for almost a year, but that’d change if I were pregnant, so it’s something to think about should I ever find myself pregnant.

Anyway, I got up at midnight, watched a little TV, made Tom some sandwiches, and crossed off the stuff we got done. I also updated our computer calendar that keeps track of shit we gotta do.

I typed Bob a letter and now Bob, Kim, and my parents have two of those postcards left. I’ll send them over the next couple of weeks.

We’re putting aside money to go to Tammy when she really really needs me the most. That’ll be when Bill dies. Tom will go with me if he can get the time off from work and I hope to hell he can, but if not I’ll go alone.

For the hell of it and out of curiosity, I called Nervous to see if his phone and or the same number still exists with him. He has an answering machine with a prerecorded voice. I just said hi and hung up. I’m glad I discovered he’s got a machine there. God, I wish he had one when he was obsessed with me! I would’ve had sooo much fun with it.

Assuming Crystal’s still there and assuming he’d never dare allow her to hear his edits, which he probably doesn’t have, I’m going to leave a few seconds of them on his machine later. I only hope he hears them, though. I hope if I leave them and they’re both out that he doesn’t come home, get to them first and erase them. Cuz that’s just what he’d do.