It happened again. AAA Taxi came next door, although this time it was a white guy who pulled into the driveway. He got out, went to the house, came back, then left without taking anyone with him. Weird.

The furniture truck didn’t spend the night there last night, and the Ranchero is still taking a break, thank God!

I can’t believe I’ve kept a schedule for over a week now. In the past, when I couldn’t fall asleep till later and would want to go to sleep earlier the next night, I couldn’t. However, last night I fell asleep two hours earlier like I had hoped to. If it turns out I can really keep a schedule, then the only thing about motherhood I couldn’t have handled would be the kid itself, besides carrying it and having it. That’d be nice to know, but I still want to keep it just us two, and I know God will see to it that although I may not get 98% of my wishes, I will get this one. It’s a done deal. Something I know I don’t even have to pray for. Regardless of what a woman wants/doesn’t want, she can count on her intuition to know these things.

Later...

Here I was worried about kids coming in and trashing the place when what I really have to worry about is someone - anyone - coming to see the house in the first place! I do have a show vibe for today, though, so I changed the animals and tidied up really well.

Today my teeth are a little sore. I guess it took a while for all the pressure to catch up to them. Also, I’d say that the most cursed tooth on the bottom which was the furthest off from being straight, has started to shift back slightly. I hope there won’t be a problem fitting the retainer, but I guess they should know what they’re doing. I guess that if they thought my teeth shouldn’t be free of anything for a few days, then they wouldn’t be. It’s just that Kathy told me something that made me wonder how they could let the teeth be free for a few days. Maybe Kathy was exaggerating just so I’d be faithful with using the retainer, but she told me that if I took it out upon waking up and left it out all day, it could be a very tight fit that night when I went to put the retainer in. If that’s all it takes, then why are they letting me go for three days with nothing? Maybe it was different for Kathy, who said her teeth were so bad she had to have braces for four years. How lucky I am, then, to only have had the top for 16 months and the bottom for 8 months.

Later...

I’ll have my company keep it down, my ass! Yeah, the fucking Ranchero just blasted in. It was that kid with her two kids, not the cock. I knew, though, that they were lying through their teeth when they told the cops they’d have their company keep it down. They lie about everything, the fucking lazy, rude, selfish, sick, fucks. Ooooooooh, I want to kill them sooooo bad!!! Fucking, motherfucking freeloaders, I hate you all!!!

Well, since Tom can’t stick to doing anything we agree to do and we can’t call that non-emergency number, I’ll just keep my headphones on for the rest of the day, cuz I know it’s gonna bang in and out and in and out. Hey, didn’t I just say that the peace won’t last? I know how these fuckers operate. They may be quiet for a few days, then it’s right back to the same old shit. They just don’t care and they’re just gonna do what they want and what they want only. They think they own the world.

Why must I always pay for every little good thing I get in life? Why?! I was out enjoying myself with Tom and I got a $15 doll, an electric toothbrush for us both, and some barbecued ribs, and now God just has to compensate me with next door’s shit. He just has to! He just can’t let assholes like this leave me the fuck alone! I’m tired of him allowing people to fuck with me like this when I never did a damn thing to them to deserve it in the first place.

Later...

I told Tom I was going to call that number, cuz I was just too pissed off and wasn’t about to take this for another God knows how many more months. To make matters even worse, my stereo had to stall out on me again. It’s working now, but lately, it’s been hit or miss with the fucking thing. It’s like something up there is saying, “I want you to listen to their music! You must!” Well, why must I? Huh? Is it really that important to God that I be forced to listen to neighbor’s noise, not be allowed the right to ignore them, and have to sleep with music on the way I do and hope it drowns theirs out? Is it really fair? Is it really what I deserve? Why is God so hateful, controlling, and vengeful? I just want to be left alone! Why has that been too much to ask for since 1992?!

Anyway, when I called the number the woman said she could send a cop out to talk to them, but they could just turn the music back on when they left, so I should file a formal complaint and prosecute. I told her to forget it cuz by then we just may be lucky enough to be out of here. Tom, though, didn’t handle it very well, as usual, making me feel like I did wrong by telling her to forget it. He said he wasn’t trying to blame me for anything, it’s just that I used poor judgment. I guess he thinks I should’ve gone through with it. However, as far as I was concerned these things take too long, anyway, and may not be effective. This is why I told her to forget it. He said that it depends and that not all complaints go to court. Yeah, well, just forget it. I know God would make sure it took a lot longer than it will for us to get out of here, anyway, so what’s the point? He just refuses to help me help myself, so fuck it.

OK, God, you won. And so did your freeloaders. You happy? I’ll just live with whatever they do, and not bother to bitch to Tom if he’s gonna get all stressed out and paranoid. Besides, maybe if I just take it, God will go easier on me when we move. Maybe if I quit trying to fight him on the things he wants dished out to me, not that I could fight, he’ll just lay off me. I also don’t need to be making Tom all nervous, paranoid, and emotional in any way, so I’ll just take it. Maybe we’ll be out of here before the year’s out, and maybe things really will be quieter where we’re going.

Tom’s insisting he’s gonna call Steven tomorrow to tell him we’ve only had one showing, then slash the price next week, and get a for-sale sign, and then contact the mayor, but I know the mayor part of it, city, government, or whoever he says he’ll call is pure bullshit. He doesn’t want to deal with it. Period. And therefore, he’s not gonna do shit about next door. Fine then, but again, I hate it when he says he’s gonna do something he doesn’t do and tells me a whole new plan every week. He’s always got this bullshit story to tell me just to hold me over till we move. That’s what he’s had in mind to do all along - tell me one bullshit story after another and make one excuse after another each time I bitch about next door till we move. Well, I still say that the city is overwhelmed with these kinds of complaints and has other more important things to do, as far as they’re concerned, and that bitching to cities, governments, cops, courts, mayors, etc., won’t do shit.

Meanwhile, I’m tired of my CD player stalling, so I moved the cordless headphones, the freeloaders nearly made me break in my anger and frustration of being forced to live with their noise harassment, into the living room so I can listen to music from the satellite with no commercials (till God ends up being the one to break the headphones). It’s good how the songs overlap each other, but if I want to listen to music without going into the bedroom to use my stereo, I may have to listen to a song I either don’t like or don’t know. I hate being controlled like this! Fucking freeloaders!!!! I’m so fucking sick of them disrupting my life, stressing me out, pissing me off, and coming between my husband and I!