Just left Sharon my weekly message, reminding her that I’ve got court this Thursday. I am not looking forward to this! How humiliating this is going to be! It’s been nearly a year and a half since I lived with the blacks and almost a year since I lived with the Mexicans, yet I still live with them. I still do what they say I have to do.

Always with me, always with them. Will I ever be able to say: Once with them, but never again? After 4 years of this bullshit, I highly doubt it.

I’m a little disappointed in Mary. Not mad like with the blacks, Mexicans, and people back east, but annoyed, irritated, that sort of thing. We’re obviously not getting her big TV, and what irks me is that she even bothered to bring it up. Well, you shouldn’t bring something up like that to a person unless you’re serious. She got me a bit psyched up at the idea, and it’s not the first time I’ve been let down, and it’s certainly not the end of the world either since we have a nice enough TV that they got us for our anniversary, but that’s beside the point. I should’ve known better, too. God wouldn’t let us just have a big screen TV any more than he’d let us just have that trailer. There is a good side to not getting the TV, just like with the trailer, and that’s that we don’t have to be punished for it, cuz anything we do get, we have to pay for in ways that most people don’t.

All I heard yesterday was that 3-minute drive-by bass session from our local freeloaders. I’m sure they’ll let me know at some point, even if it’s just once when they go by again.

Houdini’s behavior was cute and funny the other night. Ratsy’s too. I guess they love tuna fish too, cuz they were both licking extra tuna from a little bowl. These things really will eat anything. That’s one of the disgusting things about rats, as Tom pointed out. When one dies in the wild, other rats eat it.

Later...

I guess Tom will be home any sec. Meanwhile, I’ll do some writing.

Again we researched the black snake to try to identify it. For a minute we thought it could be a black rattlesnake, but once again, its looks and behavior fit that of a coachwhip.

I saw the pickup go quietly home at around 1 PM, and some time yesterday, after they went banging by, they went by quietly. Stereo broken already? It’s too soon to say for sure. After a few more times of going by quietly, I’d say yes, because they wouldn’t opt to not play it that many times in a row, but not until then.

Later...

Tom just got in. Said another tire blew. Thanks again God, for your wonderful timing.

Last night I woke up sweating twice. It was really weird. And when a power failure woke me up at 7:30, right around when I was going to get up anyway, I was sweating then, too. The power was only off for a few minutes. Anyway, it wasn’t the least bit warm in here, so I can’t explain the sweat spells.

This may sound even stranger, but I realized something lately. I’m no longer raging over the assholes back east. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate them, wouldn’t want to associate with them, and would never forgive them, but I no longer find myself gripped with sudden feelings of rage like would be the case for so long (perhaps my final round of mail did it). It’s like with the folks – the emotions I’ve had towards these people have gone numb, and as with the folks, if someone told me they died I would be like – so? I wouldn’t feel anything either way. Despite the years of abuse they’ve dished out to me with their lies, manipulations, control, vindictiveness, negativity, insensitivity, hypocrisy, contradictions, phoniness, moodiness, and despite all the times they were wishy-washy, two-faced, and stabbing me in the back, they’re a completely closed chapter of my life and I don’t want to know them from a hole in the wall.

Later...

Next weekend, when Tom’s here when I get up, I’ll have to have him do something I haven’t had him do in a while - take my measurements.

I tend to leave him messages throughout the day, letting him know this and that, so I don’t forget to tell him later on. In one of my messages, I let him know that telling me to “talk less” when I mention anything about sex, is a major turn-off to me. I was like – you mean I can discuss it with my therapist, but not my husband? Gee, thanks! Anyway, he tells me he didn’t mean never to talk about it at all, but not at that moment. I told him he should reword himself next time and say to “talk later.”

I haven’t seen one prairie dog today. Haven’t seen hardly any lately, no doubt cuz of the snakes hanging around. I kept telling Tom I vibed snakes being under the bedroom and he’d laugh at me. Well, laugh no more, I told him, cuz today I saw a black snake go under the skirting by the bedroom. It could’ve walked up to the side of the bedroom, then slither around the corner to the retreat, but I doubt it, judging by its angle.

Looked back to see when I had my first prairie dog, Iggy, and snake sightings. First saw the prairie dog in March, the iguana in April, and the snake in May.