Saying I’ve got a lot to write about is an understatement! Mom’s still here but will be gone in about an hour. Mary and Dave will be coming up to get them, leaving Dave’s Mom and her boyfriend at their house.

Paula never did call this weekend like I thought she would, but that’s good since I wouldn’t have been in a position to chat with her. If Mom ever does move in, as much as I doubt she ever will, maybe Tom can install a phone jack somewhere in the master suite, so I can talk to Paula, or whoever, in a more private setting. Mom’s always in the den where the phone is unless she’s at the table eating, or seeing something we’re showing her, or in the guest room.

I have mixed emotions about Mom leaving, although, for the most part, I wish she’d stay. It feels good to have more responsibility and to feel more productive and like I’m helping someone. We’d probably only screw once a month or less with her here, something you know I’m sick of anyway, so she’d be rescuing me from having to do that every 1-3 weeks (we didn’t get together as I predicted). On the other hand, her leaving gives me a little more freedom. Freedom to run around naked, swear, talk loud if I want to, run up and down, etc. If I ran too much with her here, she might think something was wrong. Same if I talk loud, although I did come out of the bedroom late at night in just my panties to get a drink. If this were Tom’s dad and not his Mom, then I’d have thrown a robe on.

The only time I felt a little controlled and uncomfortable was when Tom gave me the eye about a comment I made in regard to a topic he brought up. He brought up the proposition they’ve got going about allowing people to develop homes in certain areas, and it led to my expressing my opinion about having rentals behind us and the noise and destruction Section 8 people bring, should we get stuck with that yet again. First of all, my statement about Section 8 people being scummy was true, and second of all, don’t ever think that just because you’re a guest in my house I’m gonna conform to what others might prefer and put on false airs. I am who I am and no one’s going to take away my freedom within my own home, if I can help it, in unreasonable ways. That’s been done enough, thank you. Meanwhile, I cut out the swears and other things. I need to be myself and not try to predict what others will think of what I say. I can’t control what others think of my opinions/statements, and I don’t want to, either. Any guest in my home is expected to accept and deal with how I live, what I do, and what I say, just like it would be expected of me to respect the ways of others when I visit them. No one has to agree with me when I express my feelings about certain subjects. No visitor has to like everything I say, do, wear, etc., but they do have to accept it, live with it, and not try to change and control it. That’s being too pushy and asking too much of me; if you think I should keep my opinions to myself in my own home. I’ll be reserved and phony in other ways, especially in public or other houses, but not here. Home isn’t the place to be somebody I’m not.

I don’t know that Mom would like to live here, being this remote, and since it would mean she couldn’t go to daycare. She loves daycare way better than sitting at home every day. Whatever’s meant to be, though, will be.

I want to jump back to my session with Helen and go in order of events before getting more into Mom’s stay with us, which has been very enjoyable. Better yet, I’ll do it later or tomorrow. Mary and Dave will be here any sec.