I still plan to get a female jumbo rat someday and breed them, too. Female rats are supposed to be really mellow compared to male rats, too. Little Buddy is one playful, hyper little guy!

Tom was telling me that someone at work told him that there are herbs I can take to help with my asthma that he’s looking into. It’s really weird. Some days I’m tighter than hell and other days I’m fine.

It’s been cloudy and windy, but it hasn’t produced any rain yet. We’re supposed to get rain from a hurricane in Mexico, but I don’t know.

I got my trays last Friday and have had no sensitivity problems with the bleaching gel. I find it best to sleep with the whitening stuff in. That way I don’t have to worry about getting thirsty with the trays in. When I try to drink with the trays in, it sucks some of the gel out. I’m doing this every night till I run out of stuff. When I run out I’ll decide if I want more. It may be something I do every 6 months or so. My teeth were noticeably whiter after just one treatment.

I’m going to be doing the fluoride treatments on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for 15 minutes indefinitely.

I hope to hear from Mary this week (I’ve given up on Paula) but in truth, the longer she puts off sending me more work, the more I can catch up on my own work. I’m way behind on my book, and I’m still scanning journals, too.

Tom’s been working on the computers, and just in case he saw my code, I changed it from avec mucho liebe (‘with much love’ in French, Spanish and German) to guten tag (‘good day’ in German). Like I said, not even he can have my password unless it was an emergency of some kind that I just can’t see. So, unless he has a way to get into the doc files that I don’t know about, they’re off-limits to him. I think, though, that if he were going to read my journals, he would’ve done it long ago. They’ve been sitting on the computer in readable format for years. Or maybe he read them while I was in jail.

He brought his mother’s computer home to fix and I may end up with her burner, so both of our computers will have them. I’d like to switch from backing up my shit on floppies to backing it up on CDs. I’ll have a CD in my office, one in the vent and one underground.

Saturday night I suddenly got horny and contemplated asking him to go down on me. I decided to ask, even though I knew I might be being a bit spontaneous for him, asking him if he’d feel awkward if I asked him to go down on me. “No,” he said. “Not as long as you reciprocate once in a while.” That part surprised me a bit. I didn’t think he needed any reciprocation.

So, he went down on me and yes, I got off by it. He said I owed him the next day, but as I figured, and secretly hoped would be the case, he never asked me to do anything to him. He said I’d owe him the next day (today), but the guy should know that just because I wanted him to go down on me that one night, doesn’t mean he has to feel obligated to say he wants stuff done to him. If he’s content not to have me do anything to him, so be it. I know it may sound selfish of me, but I don’t know that I want to do anything to him. Giving him handjobs are boring, and it’s like, I just don’t know if I want to go back to the same old boring, predictable sex. A part of me regrets asking him to do me the other night, fearing I may’ve opened up an old door I don’t want to walk through again. Doing stuff with him may be familiar and comfortable, but it’s not new and exciting like it would be with Teddy Bear, till she too, became all too familiar and comfy.