Just 180 days away from my Teddy Bear! Or at least till I can send the letter. Even that’s an eternity. I should know. Yes, my feelings were teetering on the edge of love. It definitely wasn’t just lust and gratitude I was feeling!

Right after I suggested the possibility of it with Tom saying they wouldn’t, work called and left a message. The stupid, incompetent idiots were bugging him about something or another, but Tom ignored them. “Hey, I’m on vacation,” he said.

I’ve been “ripping” CDs, which means extracting the tracks I want from my CDs and making them wave files rather than MP3s. That way they’ll sound better. These are for condensing my CDs, though with the way they have MP3s nowadays, I should never live long enough to fill up the 200 CD changer I’m getting.

Tom’s Ida research turned up exactly what I assumed it would. She’s in on a probation violation. What I don’t get is why she lied. I mean, I can see her not wanting to discuss her charges, but why lie and say she’s never been in jail/prison before and that she had no probation when she got out? I don’t understand the big deal. Did she think I’d be like - oh, my God! Did she think I’d freak out with shock?

I asked Tom if he thought the freeloaders didn’t sue cuz they didn’t know they could, or if they thought for some reason that they’d lose. Tom said he thinks they thought they couldn’t get something from me since it was me they were after. But the house, land, and car aren’t in my name. Well, it’s a damn good thing they didn’t realize that going after him would be the same as going after me cuz if they’d have sued him, they’d have garnished his paycheck and we’d have no place to live, no way to eat, no way to survive. And I know they would’ve won. There’d never have been a question of that.

Congratulations, blacks! You made another die-hard racist! They’re so fucking sensitive to being hated, too (though what do they expect with the way they treat people?). Deanna was a prime example of that, what with the way she came to the door after I moved in with Ida, demanding to know if I had anything against her for being black.

So what if I did? Why does it matter so much? Why is being liked so damn important to blacks? Are they that insecure? Perhaps this is just me, but when someone doesn’t like me, I just ignore them (when they’ll allow me to). I don’t “get them” for it and I don’t go out of my way to convince them they shouldn’t hate me. You can make people hate you, but you can’t make people like/love you.