I awoke at 8:00, right as the power went out. My first thought was - oh, no! God took our water and now he’s taken our electricity! But an hour later it was back on.

I’m airing the house out right now, even though it’s still cool out. I just wish the house didn’t have to smell like horses! A part of me misses summer, but summers in Arizona are very long and expensive. This cold spell won’t last long at all. In three months we’ll be sweating our asses off again.

130 days till I can send the letter and hope to hell she gets it if she doesn’t call me first.

I was thinking about Paula and Marilyn. I wonder - would Paula have gotten more jail time and less community service if she wasn’t on disability? But Marilyn was on disability, yet she got 6 months for hooking, while Paula got just 3 for assault, one of the “victims” being an oh-so-precious pig. Though I believe Marilyn told me she didn’t have probation when she got out, which makes no sense, as honest as she seemed, it just goes to show how much stricter Arizona is. Especially if you’re white, female, Jewish, or all of the above.

There I was, wishing Mary would get the hell out of Estrella, only to end up hoping she stays there at least till May, so she can tell me if Teddy Bear returns. Of course, there’s always the chance, as slim as it is, that she returns on April 1st, but never works M Dorm between then and May. I think she’ll be at Madison for at least a year, though.

Later…

My stomach is on the fritz again, though I don’t know why.

I’m caught up on Mary’s work, and now I’m doing my own.

This weekend Tom will be working on the really cool CD he’s making for Mom, Mary and Dave, loaded with games and so much more for Christmas. It may not cost $6000, but it’s cool.

Tom got a bonus of $500 at work. Most of it will go to bills, as usual. God, I’m sick of 95% of our money going to bills! I wish there was more left over for us to have fun with. Well, we’re going to have fun with a little bit of it one of these days soon and hit the casino on the reservation here.

You know, after all this time, it just occurred to me that meant to be or not, I’m going to get so so punished by God if Teddy Bear and I get it on with each other. But I don’t care. I already made up my mind. I want her, and if I can have her, I will, and if God wants to see me as some evil adulteress in need of yet another round of torment - let him.