No, Mary hasn’t gone away. But that’s okay. She shocked the shit out of me with a nice letter, assuring me she was not the least bit mad at me. She tried sending one a few weeks ago, but it was returned to her. I guess they couldn’t read her sloppy handwriting.

Anyway, everything all makes sense now; all the vibes, etc. Here I was thinking it was me she was pissed at, yet all the while it was Ida she was really pissed at! So, those few days of stressing out over bad vibes must’ve been emanating from her due to her Ida troubles. And of course, the bad vibes suddenly died when Ida was released.

In her letter, she didn’t mention Teddy Bear, but she insists she tore up the book excerpts. So, I assume Ida knows nothing about the bear and I and that nothing’s been said to her.

I explained to Mary why I thought she dumped me, which I’m sure she’ll get quite a kick out of, and told her that if Ida did get my PO box address from her since I doubt Ida could’ve memorized it - okay. It’s just a PO Box and not the house address. However, in the future, and I’m sure she’ll agree to this, we better not mention that we’re pals to anyone we both know, like Hope, to avoid going through all this stress and confusion again! Not that she can’t tell me how she’s getting along with Hope, of course, who she says she’ll be celling with.

Yes, Hope is still there. I’m sure Teresa is, too.

All I asked about the bear is how often she works M Dorm, and if she still wears her hair in a braid, or if it’s long enough now where she has to put it up.

I also asked if the “palm tree” has been there.

I totally hear her, as far as Ida goes, and I told her so.

Mary said she told her what she told me - that she was indifferent to her. Yeah, she’s “indifferent” to everyone and everything, and yes, her pacing drove me utterly insane, too.

Mary had me laughing my ass off when she said Ida followed her around the dayroom, begging her to make a call for her. I can totally picture it, too!

I was also cracking up a storm about a certain DO we’d weird out on that she mentioned. She was doing her punk-rocker routine for Bryant again.

Ida told her she was self-contained. With me it was…let’s see…what was I? I believe I was spoiled, self-absorbed, ungrateful and conceited, I told her.

She mentioned that she may’ve found a publisher, but as I told her, we’re still a ways away from that. First we have to get it all written/edited. She said she wrote a lot of the book, so I guess she’ll send it to me eventually.

Well, I’m just glad everything’s okay, as I told her, though I’m very sorry she’s been filled with frustration, anger and sadness like she told me. Hopefully, she’ll get along better with Hope and they’ll be together for a while.

As for my own book - I’m glad she liked my intro, I told her, but it’d be best to wait and let her read the whole thing when she comes to our house.

She remembered my birthday, and I told her about the well crisis.

As for Ida’s saying I used her - that’s just all talk from Ida. Yeah, that woman has caused more stress and anger than crazy Melinda and Nancy combined! She never felt used, and actually, she used that note as ammo against her, in a sense, from what she said.

When the pacing would get on her nerves, she’d sit in the middle of the floor and meditate.

So, the Germ has a pretrial conference coming up, so she’ll no doubt return to jail at some point. I’m beginning to wonder if Mary will ever get out of there and go to Florida to stand trial in the Gretchen case, and yeah, I truly believe she was at work when her ex killed her. She’s no Myra or Mindy, who you just know are guilty as hell.

We have a few projects lined up for this weekend, though I doubt we’ll be able to complete them all. One of the things we’d like to do is straighten the bars that go to the rat’s cage that we bent on account of those damn pigs. These wire shelves are working out great and I want to put the cage up to its full height of almost 5’ and add more shelves. We’re going to thread wire through the largest gaps in the bars so rats as small as Little Buddy can’t escape, although Little Buddy’s no small rat compared to your average wild rat! Fancy rats and mice are bigger and more colorful than the norm.

I also want to make a few Barbie stands so I can stand some of the ones in long dresses without having to lean them against something. That shouldn’t be too hard to do. All we need is a little platform with a stick in the middle that her crotch will rest on.

I want to create another computer set-up with all my MP3s so I can hopefully avoid getting an MP3 player. If I can set up a more convenient setup than I had the last time, I can get that Marisa doll I’ve been wanting for years.

I’ve finished ripping all my CDs. I have about 670 songs. I even made some shortcut icons on my desktop of some of my favorites. They block half of my wallpaper pictures, but it’s just so cool having them there. When I go to work out, I click a few icons so I can work out to music.

Speaking of working out, it really does help control my weight. I wasn’t working out for about 5 days during the well shit we went through and got up to 124 pounds. Now I’m back to 120. So, it won’t get me thin, but it’d keep me around 120. If I were to quit working out, who knows how high my weight would go?

Next door’s black cat (I think it’s next door’s) hangs out by the house at times. I don’t mind cats. Dogs I do mind. The cat was always timid in the past, but this time it came running up to the house when it saw/heard me in the window, and when I opened the window and said hi to it, it rolled around on the ground playfully.

I made the most realistic doll setup yet. It’s frighteningly realistic! I have Jade leaning over hugging my big stuffed dog. Both the dog and the doll look scary-real! Of course, if we get Pepper I’ll have to move Jade so he doesn’t run into her. With all the space in here, though, compared to Mary’s, he shouldn’t bump into too many things.

We went out today and our first stop was to see Scot, whose face is fatter each time I see it, and who said I seemed jumpy. Tom explained I was impatient, and I told him I was just looking forward to getting out and playing golf. The rude cock that was before me was holding me up by not giving me a form to get started on. (they’re all on this big clipboard-like thing)

I can’t put a finger on it, but there’s something about Scot that’s bugging me. It’s not like I think he’s going to throw me in jail, but it’s almost like he’s itching to hassle me in some way. And knowing that most of the people within the corrupt system are high on control doesn’t help ease my worries. Hopefully, I’m just being paranoid. I mean, how could I not be? I’ve been lied to and manipulated by so many cops. I was bullshitted by two pigs in Springfield in regard to phone calls, then that white cop came to sic that Robin H bullshit story on me, then the black pig tells me his load of bull. So, why should I trust any of them?

He seemed tempted to test me for drugs, but Tom thinks he didn’t because it wasn’t convenient at the moment for him to do so. Well, I know that if I don’t get tested next week, I will in January for sure. I just hope I get to do this fucking shit alone!

Fuck you mother-fucking freeloaders! It’s like - aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Get out of my life for once and for all and stay out of it forever!!!

He made a comment about my being over a year into the sentence.

What? Is that supposed to make me feel better?

He also said he tried to get out here yesterday, and I was like, aw, too bad. I’m just oh so sorry you couldn’t make it. So, he’ll bug me next week and fuck up my schedule that I’ll be trying to flip.

Ok, enough with the freeloaders, pigs and corruption.

After grabbing a few things at Circle K, we went to Fiddlesticks to play miniature golf. This place wasn’t nearly as nice as Castles & Coasters, which is so far away from us now, but we still had fun.

I got a dozen or so books at the bookstore, and he went into a car parts store. He thought he bought a pair of windshield wipers, but then once we got in the car, he noticed that there was only one in the package.

At Osco drugstore, I got a few colorful, shiny things. Their porcelain dolls were boring, but I got a redheaded, freckled-faced Barbie. Midge is its pitiful name. It’s part of the series with the sculpted tummies in 2-piece swimsuits. Some of the Barbies I have (they’re all Barbies to me, regardless of their hair/skin colors) have waist-length hair and others are just past the ass.

For my own hair that’s just a couple inches from my ass, I got a hair tie not quite like anything I’ve ever had. They had hairy hair ties. Some had regular hair colors; brown, and blond, but I got neon pink. The hairs are a few inches long with tiny braids scattered throughout them. It’s a bitch to get out of my hair after I put it in a ponytail, though, cuz it gets tangled in my own hair, so when I put my hair in a braid, I use it for that. That way it’s at the ends of my hair.

I got chocolate lip gloss, watermelon body mist, glittery nail polish with bigger chunks of glitter in it, and a Christmas card for Mom, Mary and Dave, thanking them for all their help.

Our last stop was at a fast-food drive-through.