It’s after 9:00 now and I’ve got 3 hours of music queued up so I don’t have to sit and listen to the Jes pest hammer, beat, bang, bash and run whatever machinery he’s been running up there for the rest of the morning. At least it’s still mild compared to the NHA and Phoenix. How can this guy claim he’s disabled, though, and get disability checks?

Even though my cousin Philip told me he and I didn’t have any issues, he must’ve eventually decided otherwise cuz he deleted me on Facebook. Probably Ruth and Polly influenced, but that’s ok. We have a right to keep or dump whomever we want.

Speaking of dumping… Fat Kat, Cart Fart, Crazy Carties, or whatever the hell else those that have also been targeted by this nutty bunch want to call them, I’m done with that chapter of my life and have deleted some stuff pertaining to them. If they want to go on raging over people’s beliefs, that’s their problem and not mine, and I’m not about to let anyone make it mine either. That being said I can move on to whether or not I really want to remain public.

Every day I’m torn between staying public and going friends-only, and every day I say I’ll sleep on it. Only I never wake up any surer as to what I want to do than I was the night before, and when I do it isn’t long before I change my mind. I asked Tom if he’d let Molly’s “informant” influence his decision and he said no, that wouldn’t even factor into it. Well, public or not, I’ll probably at least cut out some of my blogs. I have too many. I enjoy the different features the different sites have to offer, but it makes editing more of a pain when you manage multiple blogs. I dropped Tumblr and I guess LJ will be next at some point. Maybe I’ll make that a voice blog.

I had strange dreams last night about waking up in our Maricopa house, then a dream of Andy’s mother inviting me to the beach in Arizona of all places, hahaha. I kept trying to tell her there were no beaches there, but she just didn’t get it.

He was also laughing at how I blame God for the economy. Why, though? If things happen for a reason, good or bad, isn’t He supposed to be the driving force behind these things? Ok, “responsible” may be a better word than “blame” in some cases. The guy who raises a bat to kill someone is responsible for his own actions, but who do you think allowed it to happen? If there is a God that’s still influencing the people and events on earth, it’s definitely not a good God for the most part, but yeah, if one exists I think it helped set the stage for the economy to collapse and chose who would be affected by it and how. Well, believing you’re going to die whether it’s quickly at your own hand or slowly on the streets isn’t funny at all, and I know I never could or would forgive God (along with other reasons). Again, though, that’s if one still exists. Maybe the events in our lives truly are happenstance, unplanned and totally without anything but humans, machines and Mother Nature guiding them. We’ll probably never know for sure in this life.

What did the crisis bring me in the end? Another case of PTSD and a valuable lesson learned about saving money. Then again, we’d already learned that lesson beforehand; it’s just that we didn’t have the money to save in the first place. Tom did the worst-case-scenario math and found that even if they laid him off the day we moved in and he couldn’t get unemployment, we’d be ok for 4 months. But of course he’d get unemployment, and older and white or not, it shouldn’t take 2 years for him to find another job.

Later…

Guess I’ll stay public a while longer. As I know, putting a wall around me may keep the jerks out, but it also keeps the good people out as well. It’s both fun and interesting to see who comes around, even if I’m less than flattered by some of my visitors.

Still not sure why I’m being dumped so much these days by people who either want to dump and ignore me or dump and harass me, but if it’s about me being me, then I’d rather keep on being me and keep on losing people than be someone else and hang onto people. Sure, I could say I love God, God is good, He loves us equally, He answers our prayers, blah, blah, blah. I could also say I’m a real social butterfly who sees tons of friends in person and that I have my own car and a full-time job outside of the house, but that would be lying to both myself and to others. Would that really be fair?

At least I’m half of what marriage means today. Like most modern marrieds we didn’t have kids, but we do share money, objects and household tasks without fussing and fighting over where things came from, who does what, or who was the one to actually bring in the money. All that matters to us is that we get the things we need in life. Yeah, he makes most of our money, but it’s still mine, too. He never washes his own clothes. I do the laundry. And no I don’t think we should do our laundry separately just because it’s 2013 and we’re supposed to be oh so independent. Why there’s so much separatism in today’s marriages is beyond me. Why get married in the first place if it’s such a sin and means you’re suddenly not independent enough if you need to “bum a ride” from your spouse? Just for the tax break?

My beliefs are far from unique, so I’m learning. Those who are either atheists or who believe God is not good are growing in numbers by the day. Can’t blame them due to all the chaos in the world. But unlike some people, I accept that we all have our own beliefs and opinions, and as long as no one tries to force theirs on me it doesn’t matter what they think and believe.

The weather has been weird. Where it had been hot as hell a few days ago, the cooler never came on yesterday until after 5pm. It was chilly in here this morning too, not being in a real house. Oh, yeah, that reminds me. Some folks have asked about manufactured homes and how they’re built. Saying that they’re all flimsy as hell is just as much of a myth as it is saying men are stronger than women and women can’t build as much muscle as they can, etc. Women have more fat which they gain easier than men and can’t lose as easily as men, thus giving the impression that they’re weaker when in fact they’re not really any more or less weaker/stronger. It really depends on the individual and how fit they are, but we ladies definitely have more fat. As for the manufactured homes, they used to be built flimsy, but the newer models are built like regular houses and in some ways can be tougher than on-site homes that are elevated. This is because they’re “strapped down.” They have steel rods running along their undersides in which strips of metal are wrapped around and attached to 3’ long screws that go down into the ground.

We’re thinking of getting one of those NuWave inductive cookers when we move. Love how the element it cooks on doesn’t get hot. Only the pots and pans get hot. It also boils water in just 90 seconds.

We both agree that during the first month, we’re going to basically spend it setting up and goofing off online catching up on what we couldn’t enjoy here. I want to find a commercial-less radio station with unlimited song-skipping, though I’ll probably have to pay for it. I want to catch up on movies and other videos and enjoy uploading and downloading high-resolution desktop wallpaper pics in no time at all. I can’t wait!

But then it’s back to work and back to the days of winning enough cash and prizes to equate to a part-time job in just 3-4 hours a day every day except maybe 1-2 on Sundays. Not as many sweeps come out on Sundays.

I will also get back on with my language studies and take one more shot at losing weight. Even though I’m more of a homebody than the outdoors type, I can’t wait to be out swimming, walking, riding my bike, etc.