When I awoke I said to myself, please don’t let it be the other way around where yesterday’s letter was just a dream while in reality we’re still waiting, hoping and dreaming of getting into the park/house!

But what happened yesterday really did happen and in 30-38 days we’re going home!!! squeals with delight Tom came home from picking up the mail with a smile on his face.

“Anything good?” I asked.

“Well, if you consider them accepting us into the park, then yes.”

Instead of my face flooding with tears of joy or shouting with delight, my whole body went rigid with shock and then started vibrating like an old lonely lady’s vibrator in the middle of a cold dark night. “Omigod, Omigod, Omigod!!!” was all I could mutter.

We weren’t expecting a letter so soon. We were expecting a phone call next week instead. Tom’s first thought was that they rejected us, figuring that they couldn’t have approved us that fast and must’ve stumbled upon something really bad right away, though we couldn’t imagine what.

Logic told me we’d get the place since we do meet their requirements as strict as they are, but only until he read the letter of acceptance to me could I finally move on from hoping we’ll get the house to hoping we’ll be as happy as we think we will be there. Remember, Maricopa turned out to be a disaster, and of course Oregon fell apart, too. I know I shouldn’t live in the past, but that, plus the poverty we went through, has given me a lifelong case of PTSD. No matter how much money we have – and we estimate we’ll still have at least 4K in savings after the move – I’m still going to worry about that. I’ll never forget a letter of a very different kind he read to me on September 16th of 2011 that literally made my heart jump into my throat and then sink to the pit of my stomach in a physical way that no bad news had ever done before.

I still can’t believe that we, the people who seemed so, so destined to go out of here in body bags, will be going home to a NICE home in a FANCY park!!! You don’t have to be rich to live at LV, but you do have to have some money. Just surviving to see this day happen is truly incredible! We searched and searched our minds less than two years ago for ways to survive. But everything we came up with looked utterly impossible. When no one will give you a job and your government won’t take care of you, what’s left? I couldn’t have cut it on the streets in my 20s, so I’d say we’re definitely way too old for that sort of thing in our 40s and 50s, and so, so glad it didn’t come to that after coming so frighteningly close!

Tom and I both agree that the day the phone rang with a job in the nick of time was definitely the biggest coincidence of our lives. Most things don’t need a reason to happen. They just happen. Period. I know most people want to believe there’s a reason because it’s easier to be able to explain things, but I think most things happen just because. But that day surely made us wonder if perhaps the spirits of our deceased loved ones bailed us out in the end – since if any God existed it had already shown us we were nothing in its eyes and couldn’t care less if we lived or died – as they’re the only ones who would have cared enough to save our asses. Not just that but because of the job itself. It wasn’t just enough to get by on, it was more than enough to change our lives forever and keep my sister from being able to say she lost both parents AND both siblings.

Assholes or not it will be weird not being able to call my parents to tell them all about the new house, and I wonder if they can “see” it from wherever they are if they somehow still exist. I’ll never forgive them for the hell they inflicted upon me as a child, but I can definitely say that other than the time they sent me to Arizona in ‘92, then pulled us off the streets of Sacramento in ‘07, that they have certainly been more helpful to me dead than alive. I hope they can see where we are right now and are ashamed and disgusted with themselves for letting us live like this for so long when there was so much more they could’ve done to help us. Oh, I can’t wait to shoot the before and after pics!

So much more to write, but this entry’s getting kinda long, so I’ll save it for later!

Later…

After being nipped in the ass by a playful rat while trying to work my abs, I’m now going to do some writing before I eat and tackle some housework. And deal with what I’m sure will be a very annoying landlord now that it knows we’re leaving. LOL, but soon he’ll be just a memory!

Brandy really let a few loud ones rip last night at around 3am. Maybe it woke Jesse from nightmares of his future tenants chasing him through these woods with an ax, haha.

So many thoughts and emotions run through my mind at this time. I’m excited, nervous and happy. I look forward to so many things in our new home, both big and small. I just hope we don’t find out that next door has a motorcycle that was out at the times we were there, or that they don’t plan to get one the day we move in. I know it may be hard for anyone without my type of sleep issues to understand why I worry about being able to sleep well there when I’m on nights, especially being the insanely light sleeper that I am, but that’s ok. I figure I don’t owe any explanations anyway, right? But since I don’t have the blessing of being able to sleep at night every night, and I’m not like Tom who could sleep through a marching band, it’s definitely something I worry about. Not too much, but I do worry a little. At least there shouldn’t be that many distractions while I’m awake, though I still expect to hear more than I do here since there are more people.

I’m SO glad we got outbid on the last house! I almost suggested we not bother with this park because I didn’t think we stood a chance as nice as it is.

The “nice man and the young lady” taking over the house kind of feels bad for the old couple in it now (whose status has been officially upgraded to intruder in my mind) because they probably hate to go. It’s sad to think that they’re giving up the home they were probably in for many years just to go to an assisted living apartment to begin the end of their lives.

Well, I’m not going to smoke up their house, that’s for sure. So I’m burning what’s left of my incense like crazy. Anyone want some honeysuckle?

Just a little over a month left with this slow, unreliable connection! And oh what fun I’ll have swimming, riding my bike around the park, learning new languages, and just having some SPACE! To be in a spacious home that isn’t as old or older than I am is going to be pure heaven. It’s worth a few annoyances and distractions so long as I can sleep.

Later…

Mary checked my email again when she got up yesterday morning, but there hasn’t been anything from Maliheh. She’s had absolutely nothing to say to me about my final message to her and that pretty much tells me something about her right there. That I was right on with my suspicions. She was never a friend.

Today is Becky’s 26th birthday, and yesterday morning I got to hear Sarah on the radio promoting her charity event. She was a guest on a local radio station to help raise money for St. Jude’s Hospital. She sounded a bit gruff but confident. She kind of reminded me of my friend Paula.

There’s been flooding in parts of Germany, but fortunately, Nane’s not in any danger. I knew they were cold and rainy for June, but I had no idea about the flooding. I read some news articles (in German, of course) she shared on the crisis. So I got to learn about what’s going on in parts of Europe and practice my German reading.

Created a group on Facebook to share journals with my closest FB friends, but didn’t add Andy or Adonis cuz they prefer to read my posts elsewhere. Not sure I like it yet. I like how I can see who checks out what, though. It’s a secret group. Groups have 3 levels. Open, closed and secret, and mine’s secret, which means only members can see it and leave comments. If you’re a Facebook friend of mine and you haven’t received an invite to the group but would like to be a member, let me know and I will add you.

Just to clarify things for those who have been curious, the park is set up very much like co-op living. But instead of the monthly payment being called co-op, fee or whatever, it’s called space rent. It covers more than just the space your home is on, though. It helps pay for the cost of keeping the pools, Jacuzzis, clubhouses, roads, gates, security, lake, trees and other amenities going. So it’s very similar to co-op living.

One thing I’m going to love is how much more stable the temperature inside the house will be. No more cold nights and warm days. Metal rooftops run alongside both long sides of the house, which will definitely help keep it cooler, and there’s a big awning in front. Only the back doesn’t have anything but that’s because there are no windows back there. All that’s back there are the bedroom closets and hot water tank. I hate having to sleep with a mask over my eyes cuz it’s so damn bright in here when I sleep during the daytime. This is because here we have a swamp cooler rather than an AC and so I have to keep the back window cracked, which gets hit by the afternoon sun.

The tentative plan is for him to work till he’s 70 and put our pension money in our 401K until then. That way, between what he gets and my pension and whatever else, we’ll be looking at retiring with about 3K a month. That’s almost what he makes now! Plus, if we do decide to stay at LV forever, our space rent is locked in. So only other things could go up in cost between now and 14 years from now. As Tom said, it’s scary to think he’ll be 70 in 14 years! His dad would’ve been 101 last month if he were still alive.

I knew it. I just fucking knew it. I hear the Jes pest buzzing around on its ATV right now. Let me guess… it’s gonna be down here any second, right?