My nieces didn’t insult me with pics they took in Florida of their sick dad, but one posted a “look how young we look” pic of them as little kids with the bastard. 

Look how thin they looked, too. I hate to say it but by looking at them as kids you’d never think they’d end up so humungous. 

I can’t help but wonder if it’s aimed at me or not, just like I wondered if I was right to take some of the pics Andy posted personally. Is it my gut that’s saying it was personal, or is my paranoia saying that? Sometimes I just don’t know if I’m right to be suspicious or if I’m just plain paranoid. Andy swears he was never trying to abuse me with pics, but it was quite a coincidence that he posts not only a person crying but a black person crying when he was picking on Tom’s lack of desire to socialize while calling it “sad.” Same with his hottie cousin who’s 52 after I said I didn’t think I was doing that bad for 48, and the chain-sporting black guy after I commented about how they couldn’t afford all those thick shiny chains on welfare. Again, I’m either not stupid and more perceptive than people (including myself) realize, or I’m as paranoid as people like Marie, Molly and Kim. 

I told Alison about the latest comment on my-diary and asked who she thought it was. She said it seemed too intelligent for Kim, whose sister scared her off of harassing me, and that it could be Molly or Kathy. 

My first guess was Molly’s mother if it’s anyone I know at all. “Silly rabbit” doesn’t seem to go with Molly, Kathy or even Maliheh. It goes with Andy, but not the thing about my parents knowing me the best. Sometimes I wonder if it’s someone I least suspect. Maybe it’s even Aly. She’d be smart enough to say things to throw me off. 

I couldn’t resist inviting Maliheh to my Facebook group, even though I knew she’d refuse it and not even check it out. I also sent some coded journal excerpts. Just the fact that she’s picking them up and not marking them as spam or blocking me on Facebook tells me she’s hoping to get me somehow. If anyone knows she’s just as mean, vindictive and spiteful as the black bitch down south, it’s me. She loves to sic the law on people no matter how deserving they may be. 

Could be that she’s still interested in hearing from me without having to actually interact with me, but I doubt it. She’s one of the coldest people I have ever met. She simply has zero conscience. 

Later… 

No one’s responded to my bogus entry on my-diary about chatting with Mommy Dearest on Facebook. I figure that if it was her that left me that comment, then she would surely react to this entry. She probably doesn’t follow me religiously, so if it was her she may not return for weeks or even months. 

I activated my old Ask account, answered the question of the day, then put it back to sleep just to keep it alive. That way if I ever change my mind someday I at least have the option of using that account. 

Taking the day off to eat what I want and all I want. I’m not even going to step on the treadmill. 

My period is late which means I have to suffer from PMS a little longer and will probably have to cancel or reschedule my female exam next month, too. 

It’s been warming up here and we’re having highs in the 70s. Before another month is up we’ll be needing the AC at least in the daytime. Even though it’s warmer down here than where the trailer was, it can be a little hotter out there before we need it since here we have a normal roof instead of a flimsy tin roof. These aren’t brand new windows, though, like the Jes pest had, so I’m a little hesitant to open them at night when spiders are active, not knowing how well-sealed up the screens are. 

As soon as I’m on days I’ll open windows and put the central fan on to get some fresh air in here. That’s the one thing I miss from the trailer is having a swamp cooler. That and the seclusion. I miss how people couldn’t drive or walk by, though I’m also happy to say I’ve long since gotten used to it. Daytime sleeping is no problem so long as the sound machine’s going. 

Last night’s semi-nightmare – I call it “semi” because there was no violence or immediate danger, though it was still unpleasant – was about the usual. Loss and money. In the dream, we were in some house and I guess we were under threat of bill collectors or someone like that coming to take all our stuff. I was even afraid of losing the old-fashioned paperback book I was reading before I could finish it. Although Tom didn’t want me to, I knew I’d attack them if they broke into the house, as I wasn’t about to let them get away with our stuff without at least some bruising and bleeding. 

I asked Tom when I got up if he thought this dream could mean anything, but assurs me our finances are fine and that I’ve always been paranoid about people messing with my stuff. This is true, and I can thank my mother and Donna A. for that much.