Still feeling okay and sleeping well though my heart goes aflutter at times. It’s different than when I first started getting palpitations. At first, the palpitations were just my heart beating a little harder and more obvious yet my HR seemed the same as usual. This, however, feels like a cross between a flutter and a vibration. I also felt a strange pulsing sensation on the left side of my neck just above my collarbone but after all the tests I’ve had and not having any other symptoms, I doubt anything is wrong.

Had partial runs today but I think that’s due to diet changes. So I’m definitely going back to what I had last week which will consist of less meat and sodium. Still doing pretty well with cutting back on the sugar and soda.

Tom stopped by the dentist on the way home from work yesterday, paid what the joke of an insurance company declined to pay, and rescheduled my cleaning and checkup for the same day I see the dermatologist which was also rescheduled due to Tom’s busy work week the week before. So on the 21st, I will have two appointments in Folsom and Roseville. It’s always better not to have to have them, but when I do it’s great to shoot two birds with one stone. Plus, I always look forward to seeing Kathleen. :-)

Last night’s dreams were too vague to really be worth noting so I’ll skip that and just say that my Lorazepam has expired and for now I’m not going to request a refill. So I better not have any major anxiety attacks! I haven’t since Stacey EMDR’d me so I should be okay. I sure hope so, anyway. I still have scattered, random bouts of anxiety but not at the epic levels I used to have. There’s still a chance I might have to have my medication adjusted.

So Aly gave me her take on Kathleen and while I know she couldn’t see the way she’d look at me or hear the things she’d say, and even though she also thinks she’s the type that’s friendly to everyone based on the promo video I shared with her, she agrees there might be something there. She said it’s one thing to say you’re in someone’s prayers but another to say you’re in their heart.

I agree. As soon as she added her heart in her note, that made me wonder. While there is more to suggest she sees a little more in me than usual, there are still a few things that suggest otherwise, so unless she bluntly says so either way, only she knows what she really feels. Between my age and being with Tom for so long and loving him more and more each year, it’s nice to be considered special to someone as pleasant as her, but I can’t actually imagine myself going any further with her than hugs and maybe a quick kiss here and there, no matter what’s on her mind.