Cutting back on sugar, meat and soda really has made a difference on the scale. I’m not losing, of course, but there’s no longer this fierce battle to keep from gaining. But now I’ve gotten some meats, fried/battered foods and some sugary treats for this week for variety. It will be interesting to see how it affects me. While it might be expensive, Amy’s frozen dinners and soups may be the way to go if I want to stay 30 pounds overweight instead of 300.

It just hit me, though, that canned soup is listed as an anxiety-triggering food along with sugar. Funny too, as I was having quite a bit of soup as I tend to do in the winter when I got hit with another round of anxiety. Next time I get hit with it I’ll have to pay attention to what I’ve been eating.

This rainbow of colorful washcloths is harder to grip and they’re a little too smooth to really scrape off the dead skin so I’m going back to my gloves. I’ll just wash them more often.

Noticed that my upper right gut pain has been better these last few days. Other than a few scattered bouts of anxiety, I’ve been doing quite well and even sleeping better when the damn motorcycles and trash collectors aren’t waking me up.

I don’t know about Tammy, though. She said something about having a bunch of tests done but didn’t elaborate. Either way, I’m totally not picking up a vibe from her saying that she really wants to be part of my life and I’m definitely not picking it up from her kids either, especially Sarah. This is both good and bad. I feel a bit shunned but at the same time, I hesitate to get that close to people who are so different and with such mean streaks.

Tom is getting over the worst of the cold his wife didn’t get. ;) He’s just got a bad cough as everything starts draining.

Still having torturously cold temps and still dreaming of a warmer climate. Someday. I just don’t know if that someday is sooner than planned or not. It totally figures that I may very well have a damn good friend towards the end of my time here rather than the beginning. I still don’t know what to make of her either. I almost feel like there’s got to be some catch. Kathleen may be far from the most attractive woman I’ve longed to be connected to but if these types of women have been forbidden thus far, even as just friends, then why now? Even if she were ugly; she has a very bubbly, upbeat and soothing personality and seems very bright.

The only things that suggest she may not be physically attracted to me are how she didn’t seem very interested when I hinted at being liberal, and the way she said Tom and I make a cute couple. She also hasn’t bought any of my books.

I don’t know what to think yet. There’s a lot more that says she is attracted to me than not. It was all there just like with Stacey only much more obvious. Since Tom was right there the whole time it’s a little hard to believe he didn’t pick up on it as well, but he’s not as observant as I am and would often have his eyes on his phone or paperwork as opposed to her. But it was all there… The things she would say, the body language, etc. I literally saw it in her eyes as the eyes really are the windows to the soul.

What’s interesting is that unless she’s playing games with me and never does contact me, one of my three prayers has been granted. It’s totally a coincidence, though, since anxiety is still an issue and I’m still fat.