After nearly spraining my wrist trying to move Suki, I can begin writing.

Yesterday I realized we had a few extra plastic totes that were empty. They’re way better than cardboard boxes when it comes to storing things and especially moving since they can’t get waterlogged, you can see through the clear ones to see what’s in them, and they’re much sturdier.

So I began gathering some collectibles. I figured it would not only give me less to dust for a while but if they were packed away for some time, I would get a chance to miss them a little before eventually unpacking them wherever we end up. Kind of brings a little newness back to them.

As I realized the beginning of the end had begun, a tear fell from my eye. And then another squeezed out. Ah, happy tears. :-)

So we’re going to get plastic totes little by little and I’ll start throwing in some non-essentials. The hardest things to pack are going to be my mini-statues. The angel that holds the crystal ball that normally goes outdoors in gardens is going to be a bit of a bitch because she’s so damn heavy. I can’t believe all the shit I’ve accumulated over the years but not all of it is going. Most of it but not all.

Normally I’m a stickler for helping out my own as I would rather help someone in my own backyard than some other country. But when it comes to the old dolls I’m not taking, a part of me wishes I could magically transport them to the poorest of kids in the poorest of countries that don’t have stores all over the place and things like Goodwill where they can get at least something every now and then. I mean, why not?

I have a couple of paper journals that I had gotten for writing on planes when traveling but since we didn’t travel nearly as much as we planned on when we first got here, I haven’t used them up. One of them I can’t find but the other I’m filling up and will leave it with the old books on the bookcase that were left here before we moved in. I’m sure if the next people go through it, they’ll love reading all about the shit I have to listen to most days here and then some!

We’ve had some thunderstorms today, and both today and yesterday have actually been pretty peaceful. Just a few loud vehicles.

We looked at some land listings available in New Mexico between Albuquerque and Santa Fe. Being from Arizona, he’s been there several times and likes those areas better than down by Las Cruces where Becky is. It’s really going to be a tough call between a Florida park and rural New Mexico. Yes, I would love to move to Florida and never be cold again, but we can’t know beforehand how that climate may affect our health. Or how often the storms may mess with my sleep. I’m too light of a sleeper for so much thunder. Also, I don’t know that we would be able to afford exactly what we wanted there, and the last thing I want to do is settle. We’re not rich, so of course we’re going to have to settle somewhat, but there’s settling and then there’s settling.

The pros to a Florida Park would be the weather, the fact that we would again be with older people, and it would be safer and more convenient.

The negatives are mostly that people just can’t shut up. I’ve learned that over the years. You don’t have to be a large Mexican family or a pack of welfare bums to drive me crazy. Even the single old white lady or man can be annoying, usually not by themselves but by those they hire to do projects for them. The point is that people make noise, and the closer you are to them and so many of them, the more you’re going to hear. Houses should never be noisier than apartments. Ever. Yet I’ve had some apartments that were actually quieter than this place even though that may have been centuries ago.

The pros of going rural would be that we could have more breathing space around us and more freedom. We could put in our own little above-ground pool if we wanted to since we wouldn’t be near the beach, and create walking and biking paths depending on the type of land and terrain.

We could get something brand-new. We would prefer to move into something that already has a dump on it so we would not only have a place to stay until we had our home built and hauled in if we didn’t build something ourselves (yes, we are looking at kits), but places with homes already on them tend to have water and electricity. I don’t want to start from scratch and get raw land as we did in Maricopa and Klamath.

Another positive is that we would own it outright with no payments other than property taxes. In a park, you still have space rent.

The negatives are that you can’t control what may happen on the adjoining properties, and there tends to be a lot of barking and loose dogs in rural places.

The biggest potential concern is the response time in an emergency. With him retired we would have the time to make the longer drives for regular doctor check-ups and things like that, but emergencies might be a problem.

It’s not quite as safe either. Not being in a gated community raises the potential for a home invasion.

The other negative is that we would be dealing with colder weather and possibly even some snow in the winter depending on where we went. We wouldn’t have such wild storms as we did in Maricopa during the monsoon season. Those storms were like, OMG! Deafening thunder like gunshots and lightning flickering on and off like a strobe light. Trying to sleep to that wasn’t easy because it was like someone flicking your light switch on and off constantly. It was definitely the kind of storm I thought only existed on TV.

I’ll never forget the night I casually walked up to the living room window and gazed out of it. I could see lights twinkling in the distance up to 40 miles away. I turned and looked away for a second and then when I looked back there was nothing. Just total blackness. I thought, uh-oh, here we go! Then… Boom! I felt and heard the wall of dust slam into the house and the storm was on. It was fun and exciting but also annoying, especially when we would lose power.

The next day the roads were flooded and water was running down the washes so fiercely that we had to shout to hear each other talk and then we saw something you rarely see in the desert… Green! It was very short-lived, though.

He was printing some 3D face masks using flexible plastic but had a hard time getting them small enough for my face, so I decided I would just use a scarf when out in public. We’re now making more of a point of not going out unless it’s absolutely necessary, and having groceries delivered as well. We may be healthy and we may have tough immune systems but I’m hearing more and more stories about younger, healthy people dying from it or at least getting seriously ill. These are people in their twenties, too. One of the saddest and scariest stories was of a couple in their 70s who were healthy and ended up dying within 6 minutes of each other. Even though my gut says it isn’t our time yet and I’m rarely wrong on these things, I don’t want to take any chances of adding our names to the statistics.

My schedule has been rolling a lot faster these days and getting to the dentist tomorrow would have been pretty tough had they not canceled since I wouldn’t have wanted to get up later than 7 and I slept until 9 today. My schedule tends to go faster when I sleep at night, though. But rolling faster is going to help me get to the ENT and GYN easier.

I let Fuzzy visit Blitz yesterday and he was so happy. It was so cute the way he was popcorning and he even let Fuzzy clean his head for a bit. Rats are clean freaks contrary to popular belief. I don’t think either of the pigs ever wanted to be alone but once Rockefeller became afraid of Blitz when he started turning the tables and bullying him back, he wanted to be alone. Blitz never wanted to be alone either but he’s too much of a bully except with Fuzzy. I don’t know why he started bullying Rockefeller, but I can only guess it’s like a woman who gets fed up with an abusive man who finally snaps and fights back. Rockefeller used to bully him when they were babies and one day he just decided it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

It’s fun for both of them to visit each other but they can’t live together because Fuzzy wouldn’t always give him the peace he’d want when trying to sleep and he would try to hide all the food, too. But quick daily visits are good because then Blitz gets some company and Fuzzy can be the little scavenger that he is.

Last night I had a dream I was in a hotel room by myself. It was very small and had a bunk bed instead of a regular bed. I was sleeping on the top. I knew the housekeeper was coming around soon even though it was late at night. I decided to go for a walk first on the indoor track the hotel had with marble floors.

When I got back, I found the housekeeper’s cart sitting in the hall but no housekeeper. I helped myself to clean sheets and stuffed the old ones on the cart.

I really liked some of the chalet models with lofts when looking at home kits. I wouldn’t mind having two floors. It would be fun and great exercise running up and down the stairs.

Anyway, when I break the positives and negatives down into lists as I have below, you would think Florida would be the better deal for us, and it very well might be if we could find the ideal place and it turned out that the climate wouldn’t be an issue for us health-wise and I wouldn’t sleep worse with all the thunderstorms they have. There simply isn’t any way to know for sure without actually experiencing it. But then some of these things are more important than others like how I may be willing to put up with winters similar to what we have here and maybe even a dusting of snow to get some peace and quiet after years of living in a zoo. Several feet of snow, though? No fucking way! On the other hand, although we could never afford to live on the island my parents lived on (Nettles Island), I would take all the noise in the world to live there.

Florida positives:
Safer from potential home invasions
Better weather
Shorter drive to doctors and stores
Less response time in an emergency
Neighbors around if we needed help with anything like a ride if our car broke down
Beaches

Florida negatives:
Humidity and possibly more allergy/asthma problems
Noisier
Space rent
Could be woken up by storms/hurricane risk

New Mexico positives:
Own it outright
Brand new custom home
More freedom (pools, etc.)
Quieter

New Mexico negatives:
Not as safe
Not good for emergencies
Could get trouble from adjacent properties
Colder winters
Longer drives to stores and doctors