Damn, am I embarrassed for myself when I read back in the 90s on how much I had to fight and beg Tom for sex! Yes, I do believe he had a genuine problem, and no, I don’t believe he was deliberately playing with my head or teasing me even though it felt that way at the time, but still. It’s kind of humiliating and embarrassing to remember those days since it’s just not something a woman normally goes through with a man. It’s almost always the other way around. He still put his own reluctance to deal with it be it due to embarrassment or a lack of desire to have a kid above my emotions, but I think that’s the only thing he’s ever done that with, and it did work out in the end. Just a shitty thing to have to go through and definitely embarrassing.

Not surprisingly, the dentist’s office called yesterday to cancel my appointment. They’re not seeing anyone other than for emergencies until May at which time someone will get ahold of me to reschedule me.

Got my first CN chapter done and the story is going to be a combination of the dream I had and my imagination working together. I might change the title and the book cover. I decided to have a fictitious character get hired as a nanny to a 6-year-old girl. This will be set in the luxury high-rise apartment I saw in my dream that my ENT owned. She won’t realize it’s a patient of hers that her mother hired until after the fact and will decide to keep the patient as a nanny and have her get a new ENT. One of the neighbors will be based on a real-life Lebanese actress. “Renee” and this character can do all kinds of things together behind the doctor’s back.

I’m also nearing the end of my story with the crazy landlord.

Yesterday wasn’t too peaceful with lots of landscaping. Overall, the traffic and planes are much quieter than usual which is the only good in this pandemic. I guess they’re projecting the same number of people to die in the US that died in the 2004 tsunami.

I take that back. The planes are more noticeable today. But why?

What is it with all the pig dreams lately? I had a dream I was out walking somewhere. I just started jogging around a street corner when I heard a police car squawk at me. I wasn’t sure if I should stop or keep running. I knew I was to meet Tom who was heading toward me from the opposite direction and was hoping he would get to me fast in case the cops wanted to mess with me for some reason.

Then I had some dream that I was working in some building that had closed. It was early evening and the sun had just set. I found a child sleeping under a piece of furniture and then called Tom to pick me up, but he never answered.