Got 4 perfume samples in the mail yesterday.

I was looking at striping stickers for nails on Amazon that I think I’ll grab whenever we do another order. It would be a great way to jazz up the dull colors that some of these sets include. They’re mostly metallics in different colors.

I’ve had a night to sleep on it and I still feel like I’m making the right decision by eating when I’m hungry and not depriving my body of the variety it needs. On Atkins, you can only have the same damn 4 foods…fruit, veggies, meat and eggs. I love that stuff but once or twice a week I want to add a little sugar or maybe have some pizza or indulge in creamy pasta like chicken noodle casserole or turkey tetrazzini. I don’t want to keep eating the same foods day in and day out. And again, even if I was suddenly 120 pounds at the snap of my fingers, I would still have to continue eating those 4 foods every day for life to maintain it.

But the reality is that this will only drop me a few pounds. Not worth the deprivation. Part of loving and accepting myself is letting my body do what it naturally feels it needs to do. If I eat right most days and keep active yet gain some weight, then it was just meant to be, and my body felt it needed it. Becoming obese doesn’t automatically mean I’m going to be unhealthy though I do kind of worry about how I’ll get around since it’s going to dampen my mobility even more, but millions of obese/morbidly obese people survive, so I will too.

Just a little hesitant to start before my last appointment with my Cali doctors but we’ve got a Walmart delivery coming tomorrow with more variety for me. I miss having snacks between meals too, and it’s hard to bring myself to snack on veggies when I have them with every single fucking meal. So I got some gluten-free ice cream that’s keto-friendly and some popcorn.

I vaguely remember visiting Aly in my dreams, although it wasn’t her house but her parents’ instead. It was a 3-story house that was tall and skinny with walls made of stone. There were these trees that extended up and over it and I thought, Wow, those are really tall trees!