Beginning this entry while I’m on the treadmill. That means I’m using my old MacBook Air. I forget just how old and slow this thing is getting until I actually use it. Going to have to use it when we move until we get our stuff shipped to us. I suppose that could be anywhere from two weeks to two months.

The shitty news is that he did some research on donations and stuff like that, and places like Goodwill aren’t picking up furniture these days. So we may have to leave it here and hope it doesn’t cause any problems with us getting our money for the house. I guess maybe we’ll see if we can sell it partially furnished.

Going for my eye exam later at Sam’s Club. We haven’t been there in ages so we’re looking forward to picking up some things that we haven’t gotten from there in quite some time that are exclusive to Sam’s Club. Love their fried rice with chicken and edamame. I look forward to getting out since it’s been a few days and I’m definitely due for it. It’s been more than a few days that I was out for more than just a quick run to Rite Aid.

The fucking water was off yesterday and now the bathroom sink and tub are so clogged with dirt that I can barely get water out of the sink and the tub sprays in a wide circle. So he’ll have to take care of that later. When I got up I saw he was soaking the shower massage head in vinegar. I can’t wait to get away from this fucking bullshit! Also, traffic was louder and more frequent yesterday and that was annoying as fuck as well. Today will be loud cuz it’s trash day.

When we get to wherever we end up, there’s going to be those two voices in my head arguing with each other. There’s going to be the smart voice that will say, “Just stay put. Your perfect little dream home doesn’t exist anyway.”

Then the adventurous, rebellious voice is going to tell me, “Go ahead and set a goal to aim for. Reach for that bigger, better place that you can hope is quieter but that won’t be but will at least be a little newer, nicer, and bigger.”

Can’t stop the Internet from eventually broadcasting our new address to the world but I’m definitely not going to give it to Aly unless she ever gives me hers and at this point, I’m starting to doubt she ever will. No pictures of Cam, the doctor that I can’t find, the address I never get - I don’t know, something’s going on but it still seems hard to believe that she’s making him up because guys are so easy. Even the fattest ugliest woman could get one. Convicted murderers can get guys!

I’m sure she’ll find out our address through her paid search subscription. Can’t stop her from doing that but I’m not going to voluntarily give it to her unless she either gives me hers or is planning a trip through Florida because it just doesn’t feel right. I mean how fair is that? She insists it’s not due to lack of trust but that she worries she’s going to “fuck things up again” but I’m not buying it after all this time. If she’s not sure of her relationship with Cam by now, when will she ever be? She’s told me of things they’ve discussed or that she’s felt that tell her he’s the one yet I never get her address. I don’t know, maybe it’s him that’s hiding something and has made her swear not to share it or his pic. He wouldn’t share one on Ask, assuming that was really him and not a fake account she created. And you never know. If Kim liked role-playing, why not her too? A lot of people are into that kind of thing. Only difference is that she would be a lot smarter about it and more convincing. Personally, I do think Cam is real but I don’t think the address is a simple lack of confidence in the relationship lasting. There’s something more to it I don’t know about.

So Aly has stage 2 cancer and if I read things correctly, she has a 70% chance of being alive 5 years from now on. It would be only 17% if she had stage 4. She began chemo and will have that once a week.

The only dream I had that I remember clearly enough to write about was that I was about to have what was left of my ear removed only I wasn’t in the hospital. I was at some office and from where I sat in the supposed exam room, I could see a list of the day’s patients. Mine was towards the end of the list and didn’t include my last name.