Still can’t figure out for the life of me why my body stops shitting once I get down to 155. Just what the hell is going on that’s so important that I keep my weight? I still don’t get that one. Well, at least I don’t have to worry about what I eat since the weight is eventually going to reset itself on its own anyway. I still watch what I eat most days, but I don’t have to worry about the one or two cheat days I throw in each week. I can’t imagine ever needing to but it’s also nice to know that if I ever had to go for a while without food, I wouldn’t waste away.

Lab day is on the 14th. I’m guessing my TSH will be 12-16. The skips probably kicked me up to around 22, so I’d be starting from there and not the 34 or so I’d be unmedicated.

Tom got a new Google phone and we both got passport wallets that will be a convenient place to keep those along with credit cards, medical cards, etc. His will be black and mine will be lake blue.

We both agree that our best bet is to just take a lower offer for this place so we can get the fuck out already and then get a cheap dump when we get there so we increase our chances of getting into it with our limited income, and then we can customize it to our taste and decide if we want a set a goal to get into a nicer place or not. I’ve learned that except for when it comes to each other, life has been nothing but settling anyway. Especially when you don’t have tons of money. But even the dumpiest place there is going to be better than here!

Speaking of houses, it occurred to me last night that I never thought to Zabasearch my doctors, so I ran Doc A’s name and found that she lives in Auburn, 33 minutes away. She has a beautiful two-story home at the end of a cul de SAC. It’s a 4-bedroom, 3-bath built in 1982 and is over 2000 square feet.

Now that I see it on a satellite map and how surrounded she is by nature much like Jesse’s trailer was, it goes with her Facebook cover photo. I’m sure that was taken on her back deck. Oh how much more peaceful it must be there! She might hear some barking at least at night and maybe some distant bass thumping as we do here but from what I remember, there were no planes or helicopters. The only time we heard helicopters was when they were replacing the wires up at the summit. She’s so fucking lucky!

She’s not as old as I thought she was, either. I thought she was 46 but she’s actually 43. I don’t think she’s married like I assumed since her last name is technically (name omitted). I noticed she has relatives in Ecuador that also go by (name omitted), plus I can clearly see no ring in pictures that show her left hand. She might have a boyfriend, though, because I’ve seen her pictured with a guy with sandy-colored hair and light eyes and one of her three kids has that same coloring. She’s heavy into GLBT rights so who knows? Maybe she’s gay or she just prefers the single life.

Then I looked up my ENT who’s the exact age I thought she was (38) and 21 minutes away and OMFG! She has a 5000-square-foot mansion in Fair Oaks! It’s a 2003 home worth over a million bucks and has 5 bedrooms and 4 baths. My first thought was, who the hell needs that much space, especially just three people?! But then I realized that one or both of them might have kids from previous relationships. She married and moved in there in 2014 and it looks like Doc A moved into her place in 2012. Maybe they have separate bedrooms, one belongs to the kid I know she has, and another is a guest room while another is a playroom for all I know. It too is on a culdesac but she would definitely hear more barking because as huge as the houses are, they’re set incredibly close. She could hear a similar number of planes but probably no more bass than we hear unless one of her immediate neighbors is into that shit.

While I certainly wouldn’t want a place that was thousands of square feet, it still sometimes sucks to know that I’m never going to really truly love where I live and that we’re always going to have to settle. I’ll never get the peace and quiet I’ve always wanted. In fact, getting into a petless, motorcycle-free park is just a pipe dream. I mean, sure, they exist, but waiting to find an ideal and affordable place in one of them would probably take forever since I’m guessing they’re few and far between. So yeah, it sucks to know that the next place will likely be quieter than this but still noisier than I’d like. Also older than I’d like with boring views.